Our Stop(79)

I just want you to know that I accepted a redundancy package at work last week, and I just found out, yesterday, that my leave can start immediately. I’d been there ages, so the payout is enough money to travel for a bit and get my head straight. I know things were never the same after what happened with Becky, but I want you to know I’ve never been sorrier for anything. I’ve really had to face some truths about myself, and I’ve got a lot to answer for. I feel so lucky I didn’t hurt anyone, but the truth is I wanted to have sex with her, even though she was so drunk she didn’t know her arse from her elbow, and you knew it, and it’s been hard to forgive myself, really. If I’d have slept with her it would have been rape. That’s … It makes me really ashamed.

I’m writing you this from the flat, where I’ve come to pack a bag because I said fuck it and bought a train ticket to Portsmouth. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow morning. Apart from you, all my mates are cokeheads and reprobates and I need some space. I read about a retreat in Portsmouth for men who want to, like, get more in touch with their feelings or whatever, so I’m going to see what’s happening there. I’ve sent you enough money for two more months’ rent, and if there’s any left because you leave early, or we get our deposit back, just whizz it back over to the same account.

My life was on a bit of a downward spiral, to be honest with you, and I really do think when you threw that left punch you knocked some sense into me. I just wanted to say bye, and sorry for putting you in the position I did.

I’ll drop you a text when I’m back, if you don’t mind. For now, good luck, man. Oh, and my mum is going to come and pack up my room for me. I’ve got rid of the drugs and porn.

All the best,

Lorenzo

Daniel sat at his desk and reread what Lorenzo had written. He could understand why he wasn’t saying goodbye in person – the brief interactions they’d had for months now had been stilted. Daniel didn’t know how to treat him. He couldn’t just forget what had happened, but he didn’t know what he expected from Lorenzo to make it better.

This, I guess, Daniel thought to himself, this is a good step for him.

He wrote back: I’m proud of you, mate. Make sure you stay in touch.

Life really was moving on, for everybody.

His phone rang.

Percy told him: ‘I’ve got Gaby from RAINFOREST for you.’

Daniel smiled, knowing exactly what it must be about.

‘Put her through,’ he said.

‘YOU’RE TRAIN GUY!’ she yelled down the line.

Daniel said, ‘Yes I am.’

‘What are the chances …?’ she marvelled.

Daniel nodded. ‘You said I was perfect for her. You called it.’

He could hear Gaby smiling too. ‘Well, yes. But I also have to let you know that if you fuck her over I will hunt you down and kill you, okay?’

‘Message received,’ Daniel said, laughing.

There was a pause. ‘So, what now?’ Gaby said.

‘I sent her flowers,’ Daniel said. ‘And tonight we’re finally going to have that date.’

‘You had better show her a good time,’ Gaby said.

Daniel thought about it for a minute. ‘Gaby,’ he said. ‘Do you want to help me?’





50


Nadia


Nadia steadied herself in front of the mirror in the loo at work. This was just like last time. Well, just like last time except she hadn’t gone to all the effort of getting her hair done and wearing an outfit she’d actually ironed. Tonight’s date had taken her by surprise but, in many ways, that was infinitely better. Go to the lobby when you’re ready, his last text had said. She’d only had an afternoon to build it up in her head. Just a few hours to deal with the clammy forehead and dry mouth. She riffled through Gaby’s toiletry bag: typical Gaby, always prepared. She gave a spray of deodorant and a sweep of pressed powder on her chin. She picked out a piece of gum, topped up her lipstick, and rearranged her boobs in her bra, so that her chest looked a little perkier.

Here we go, she thought, throwing on her coat.





51


Nadia


In the lobby, just like before her first first date with Train Guy, Nadia saw Gaby.

‘I can’t stop!’ Nadia said. ‘I can’t be late!’ she trilled, thinking of how her conversation with Gaby was the thing that had held her up last time.

‘You won’t be!’ Gaby said, reaching out for her wrist.

Nadia spun around and looked down to where her friend held her.

‘Listen to me,’ Gaby said. ‘Daniel wanted me to tell you something. I’m here as your first clue on where to go.’

Nadia balked. ‘You spoke to him?’

‘I did. He said to tell you to stop in front of anyone wearing a yellow rose.’ Nadia suddenly realized Gaby was wearing a yellow rose, clipped to the top of her dress. ‘There are things he wants to say, before you get to where you’re going. The first one is that you are clever and kind and smart and he promises this: that this time he won’t waste your time. He’ll be there.’

Nadia didn’t know what to say. ‘Okay …’

‘He promises he’ll be good to you, Nadia. Now, go. Wait outside. Look for the yellow roses.’