Our House(86)

‘Oh, Bram,’ he said, sensing my dip in mood and taking pleasure in lowering it further. ‘Who would have thought you’d end up as much of a loser as your father?’

Any illusions of camaraderie vanished at a stroke and I grabbed him by the collar, my knuckles pressing into his throat. Had I been the stronger I would have taken his head in my hands and smashed it into the wall. But I was not and he held me at arm’s length like a weakling until I shook myself off and staggered back. ‘Why did you deliver that list to the house?’ I hissed.

‘What? It was addressed to you, wasn’t it?’

‘Did you think Fi doesn’t know? Of course she knows, she knows everything about me.’

‘Not everything, Bram. Not the assault conviction, eh? And not us. At least I hope not.’ He chuckled, genuinely amused. He was venal, completely and utterly immoral. Almost as horrific as what he was doing was the knowledge that none of it, not a single penny from the house, not a single moment with Fi, was personal.

I could have been anyone.


‘Fi’s Story’ > 02:38:27

New year, new level with Toby. He was taking me to a smart hotel in Winchester for a few days. I won’t use the term ‘romantic getaway’, not now. I realize the horse has bolted in terms of any credibility I may have as a judge of character. Can I just say that it was by no means a foregone conclusion that I should go? I did waver: our regular Saturday nights were one thing, but two nights away from home was another. I even chose Polly as my advisor, subconsciously expecting her to discourage me.

‘Go,’ she said. ‘What’s the big deal?’

‘You’ve changed your tune,’ I said.

‘It’s a holiday! If I were you I would use it.’

‘Use it?’

‘Yes. To dig for the truth. Look in his wallet, check his phone.’

‘What for, Polly?’

‘For photos of his wife, Fi.’

I groaned. ‘Maybe I could wear a wire as well?’

‘It’s a no-lose situation. If you find out he’s not married, great. If you find out he is, and I mean living with her properly, not bird’s nesting or some other trendy set-up, well, it’s better to know.’

‘Perhaps you should go in my place,’ I laughed.

She reminded me of that later. ‘Bram could never have done what he did with you in the house full time,’ she said. ‘He used your custody arrangements against you.’

‘Hindsight is 20/20,’ I said.

Was I falling in love with Toby? I don’t think so, no. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a little, during that trip away. But what does it matter? Other than talking to you, I’ve done my best not to think about him.

As for work, the timing was perfect in that a presentation I’d been working on with Clara was about to go to our design agency, with feedback due the following week, creating a natural break for me.

‘I’ll need to sort out cover for the boys,’ I told Toby. ‘Otherwise I won’t be able to do it.’

‘Your ex’ll step in, won’t he? I take it he’s moved on from his initial disapproval of us?’

‘You could say that.’

If Bram couldn’t, I knew one of the grandmothers or neighbours would help, but he agreed without question, happy to prioritize family over work and handle every detail of their care. Even so, I lined Alison up for contingency.

‘You didn’t tell me how it went at Christmas,’ she said, when I popped in for a coffee. ‘With Bram?’

‘It was good. To be honest, I’m still trying to forget how good.’

‘I see. But nothing’s changed?’

I paused, admiring the polished stone of her breakfast bar, the vintage roses arranged in the flared vase I’d chosen from our recycled ceramics line a few years ago.

She gave a rueful sigh, forked fingers through her blonde hair, like mine highlighted to deny the grey. ‘I’m not saying I held out hope, but, you know, when you arrived at Kirsty’s together after the carol concert . . .’

‘I know. It felt like old times.’ I looked up. ‘But no, nothing’s changed. It’s too late.’

We lapsed into silence then, almost in tribute.

You know, speaking of falling in love, it’s almost as difficult to say when you’ve fallen out of it, isn’t it? I feel very strongly that just because you do, it doesn’t give you the right to deny the love existed.

I may be many things, but I’m not a revisionist.

#VictimFi

@DYeagernews So heartfelt, so true. Starting to wish they might get back together . . . #Bram&Fi

@crime_addict @DYeagernews Are you kidding me? You’re as bad as she is!





Bram, Word document

The solicitor emailed to say that contracts had been exchanged. The vendors’ ten per cent deposit – ￡200,000, a sum that the medication helped me visualize in Pokédollars – had been received and the final statement sent out to their solicitor. Completion was confirmed for Friday, 13 January (it was far, far too late to note the unluckiness of the date), the balance – minus mortgage settlement, estate agency fees, legal fees and other reimbursements – expected to land by 1 p.m. It would be close to ￡1.6 million.

Rav met the Vaughans at the house on Saturday 7th for a last check of fixtures and fittings, but I elected not to be there, taking the boys straight from their swimming lesson to Pizza Express for lunch.