One of the Girls(30)

Robyn gripped her hands over her ears. ‘We’re not a pack of dogs!’

‘Get your ass up here, bride-to-be,’ Bella said, standing at the head of the table. ‘It’s time for the Mr and Mrs quiz!’

Lexi felt a flare of annoyance: Bella had promised. She knew that Ed would hate this sort of thing. He was a private man, and she respected that. ‘You’re serious?’

‘Hell yeah.’

She looked to Robyn for support, but she held up her palms as if saying, Nothing to do with me!

Reluctantly, Lexi moved to Bella’s side at the head of the table. Candlelight flickered across the terrace. Eleanor sprayed a cloud of mosquito repellent over her neck and shoulders, the smell of citronella filling the night.

Lexi eyed the shots uneasily. ‘I want to remember my evening – not spend it vomiting ouzo over the balcony.’

‘Honey,’ Bella said, planting a hand on her hip, ‘I’ve seen you do a bottle of Jack straight. I know you’re all clean-food and purified-water these days, but that liver of yours … it remembers.’ She pulled a crumpled slip of paper from her bra. Bella was forever stashing things there: money, a spare tissue, a cloakroom ticket. She unfolded the paper, glossy nails shining, then addressed the hens. ‘Ten questions, ten shots. Lexi gets the question right and she gets to nominate someone to take the shot for her. Gets it wrong and she does the shot. Got it?’

‘I’ll answer the questions,’ Lexi said, ‘but I can’t stomach ouzo.’

‘Who are you and what have you done with the real Lexi?’

‘I just want to enjoy the night. Go at my own pace.’

Bella placed her palms together in prayer position, and spoke exceedingly slowly. ‘This. Is. A. Hen. Party.’

Lexi waited for something further – but that was all: This is a hen party.

‘Are we all ready?’ Bella asked, voice as honeyed as a gameshow host’s.

There were no hoots or catcalls in response, only a vague murmur of assent.

‘Question one,’ Bella began, undeterred. ‘What would Ed say is your worst habit?’

‘You’ve spoken to Ed?’

‘Have you not heard of a Mr and Mrs quiz? Do I need to give you the basics of how a hen party works? I called your husband-to-be and asked him a series of questions about you, your relationship, and his chequered past. He became embarrassed, then defensive, suggesting that this wasn’t his sort of thing – but eventually answered them anyway because even he understands the fundamentals of how a hen party works.’ She took a breath. ‘So, I shall repeat: What would Ed say is your worst habit?’

Lexi wiped her palms down the sides of her dress. She needed to get this right. All ten questions right.

What would Ed say was her worst habit? They’d only been living together for five months, so they were still on good behaviour. She’d seen Ed irritated in a restaurant when the service was terrible and heard him taking his frustrations out on his rowing machine after an exasperating call – but he’d never seemed annoyed by her habits.

Bella tapped a fingernail against her watch face.

‘Oh, there is one,’ Lexi said. ‘My worst habit is probably going out and leaving all the windows wide open.’

‘Boring answer alert,’ Bella announced. ‘What about all the other options? The pillow drool. Using other people’s toothbrushes when you can’t find your own. Eating toast but leaving the crusts.’

‘Or putting half-eaten chocolates back in the box,’ Robyn chimed in. ‘Checking your phone mid-conversation. Picking your split ends.’

‘Excellent examples, Robyn,’ Bella said. ‘Anyone got any more of Lexi’s bad habits they’d like to share?’

‘I think that’s enough,’ Lexi said. ‘What was Ed’s answer?’

Bella glanced down at the sheet and rolled her eyes. ‘Ed said, Lexi always leaves the windows open when she goes out. It’s a security issue.’

‘See!’ Lexi laughed. ‘Now, about this nominating.’ She picked up the first shot and handed it to Bella. ‘All yours.’

‘Thought you’d never ask,’ Bella tipped it back in one movement. She licked her lips with relish, then belched. Bella loved to belch. Despite the immaculate outfits, the full make-up, the perfume-sweetened skin, she belched like a barbarian.

‘Question two,’ Bella began. She leaned forward – giving everyone a clear view down the neckline of her dress – whispering theatrically, ‘Don’t worry, the answers get a lot more interesting.’

Lexi had to keep reminding herself to smile.

‘We asked Ed how many sexual partners you’ve had.’

Her jaw tightened. ‘You asked him that?’

‘There’s no “we” by the way,’ Robyn said, palms raised.

Bella grinned. ‘Sure did.’

‘I can’t believe you.’ She knew Ed would’ve hated being asked that. Brassy and outspoken – those were the words he’d used to describe Bella a few weeks ago, which had prompted their first row.

‘Honey,’ Bella said, planting a hand on her hip, ‘we’ve not even got into the hard stuff. I mean, I could’ve asked him how many people you’ve slept with in one night.’