One of Us is Lying(51)

Kate shoots me a severe look. “Would you put that away?” I do, but in my head I’m giving her the finger the whole time. Yumiko’s all right, but Kate almost makes me miss Vanessa.

No. That’s a complete and utter lie. I hate Vanessa. Hate how she’s mean-girled her way into the center of my former group and how she’s glommed on to Jake like they’re a couple. Even though I don’t see much interest on his part. Chopping my hair off was like giving up on Jake, since he wouldn’t have noticed me three years ago without it. But just because I’ve abandoned hope doesn’t mean I’ve stopped paying attention.

After lunch I head for earth science, settling myself on a bench next to a lab partner who barely glances in my direction. “Don’t get too comfortable,” Ms. Mara warns. “We’re mixing things up today. You’ve all been with your partners for a while, so let’s rotate.” She gives us complicated directions—some people move left, others right, and the rest of us stay still—and I don’t pay much attention to the process until I wind up next to TJ.

His nose looks a lot better, but I doubt it’ll ever be straight again. He gives me a sheepish half smile as he pulls the tray of rocks in front of us closer. “Sorry. This is probably your worst nightmare, right?”

Don’t flatter yourself, TJ, I think. He’s got nothing on my nightmares. All those months of angsty guilt about sleeping with him in his beach house seem like they happened in another lifetime. “It’s fine.”

We classify rocks in silence until TJ says, “I like your hair.”

I snort. “Yeah, right.” With the possible exception of Ashton, who’s biased, nobody likes my hair. My mother is appalled. My former friends laughed openly when they saw me the next day. Even Keely smirked. She’s moved right on to Luis, like if she can’t have Cooper, she’ll settle for his catcher instead. Luis dumped Olivia for her, but nobody blinked an eye about that.

“I’m serious. You can finally see your face. You look like a blond Emma Watson.”

That’s false. But nice of him to say, I guess. I hold a rock between my thumb and forefinger and squint at it. “What do you think? Igneous or sedimentary?”

TJ shrugs. “I can’t tell the difference.”

I take a guess and sort the rock into the igneous pile. “TJ, if I can manage to care about rocks, I’m pretty sure you can put in more of an effort.”

He blinks at me in surprise, then grins. “There you are.”

“What?”

Everyone seems absorbed in their rocks, but he lowers his voice anyway. “You were really funny when we—um, that first time we hung out. On the beach. But whenever I saw you after that you were so … passive. Always agreeing with whatever Jake said.”

I glower at the tray in front of me. “That’s a rude thing to say.”

TJ’s voice is mild. “Sorry. But I could never figure out why you’d fade into the background that way. You were a lot of fun.” He catches my glare and adds hastily, “Not like that. Or, well, yes, like that, but also … You know what? Never mind. I’ll stop talking now.”

“Great idea,” I mutter, scooping up a handful of rocks and dumping them in front of him. “Sort these, would you?”

It’s not that TJ’s “fade into the background” comment stings. I know it’s true. I can’t wrap my head around the rest, though. Nobody’s ever said I’m funny before. Or fun. I always figured TJ was still talking to me because he wouldn’t mind getting me alone again. I never thought he might’ve actually enjoyed hanging out during the nonphysical part of the day.

We finish the rest of the class in silence except to agree or disagree on rock classification, and when the bell rings I grab my backpack and head for the hall without a backward look.

Until the voice behind me stops me like I’ve slammed into an invisible wall. “Addy.”

My shoulders tense as I turn. I haven’t tried talking to Jake since he blew me off at his locker, and I’m afraid of what he’s going to say to me now.

“How’ve you been?” he asks.

I almost laugh. “Oh, you know. Not good.”

I can’t read Jake’s expression. He doesn’t look mad, but he’s not smiling either. He seems different somehow. Older? Not exactly, but … less boyish, maybe. He’s been staring right through me for almost two weeks, and I don’t understand why I’m suddenly visible again. “Things must be getting intense,” he says. “Cooper’s totally clammed up. Do you—” He hesitates, shifting his backpack from one shoulder to the other. “Do you want to talk sometime?”

My throat feels like I swallowed something sharp. Do I? Jake waits for an answer, and I mentally shake myself. Of course I do. That’s all I’ve wanted since this happened. “Yes.”

“Okay. Maybe this afternoon? I’ll text you.” He holds my gaze, still not smiling, and adds, “God, I can’t get used to your hair. You don’t even look like yourself.”

I’m about to say I know when I remember TJ’s words. You were so … passive. Always agreeing with whatever Jake said. “Well, I am,” I say instead, and take off down the hall before he can break eye contact first.