One Small Mistake(107)

‘Sit down.’

I do as he says, sinking into the cream sofa. Everything in this room is soft – the colours, the surfaces, the way the fire bathes us in a golden glow.

‘… on too long. It’s time to decide.’

I blink. Jack has been talking and I haven’t heard a word. ‘Sorry?’

His brow furrows. ‘Are you listening?’

I nod.

He stares at me a moment longer. I do not squirm.

‘I was saying this has gone on too long.’ He gestures between us. ‘This situation is hostile. I miss us.’

I don’t speak. Nothing good ever comes from interrupting Jack during one of his declarations of love.

‘We can fix everything if you make the right choice. Have you decided?’

I clench my teeth and breathe through my nose.

It takes me three whole breaths to push down the rage that rises in my body, the rage that makes me want to leap from the sofa and hit him until he is nothing but toothless, wet flesh. Three whole breaths before I’m capable of replying.

‘You want me to decide now?’ I manage.

‘I don’t see the point in dragging this out much longer.’

My palms are clammy. I thought I had more time. I try to swallow but it feels like there is a rock in my throat. ‘Sleep with you or you’ll kill Ada?’

Jack’s Icelandic blue eyes are cold. ‘I’m trying to help you. What’s your decision?’

He told me before that there is more power in making someone change their mind than there is in taking what you want by force, but really, what choice do I have? I clasp my hands tightly in my lap to stop them from shaking. ‘Okay.’

He jolts. ‘Really?’

I nod.

He stands, pulls me up into his arms and swings me off the ground. He’s thrilled. Setting me down on my feet, he says, ‘This is the right decision, I promise.’

My stomach churns.

His smile is wide. ‘I’ve got something for you.’ He takes my hand and leads me to the dining room where there’s a parcel waiting on the table. It’s wrapped in pale pink tissue paper. He tells me to open it. Jack is at my back, blocking my exit. With no other option, I obey. Inside is a white silk slip. A lover’s gift.

‘For tonight,’ says Jack.

‘How did you know I’d say yes?’

He comes close. His breath warms my neck. ‘Because I know you.’

‘I thought you liked me in green.’

‘White is more appropriate. We’re starting over tonight. It will be like our first time.’

I put my hand on the table to steady myself. It’s too much. Too real. I can’t. I can’t. He brushes my hair to one side and his lips find the soft space between my neck and shoulder. He kisses my half-moon scars and I remember his nails breaking through my skin. His hand slides up my legs and under my sweater. I am too scared to move. He grinds into me.

‘Fuck it, why wait?’ He spins me to face him then lifts me easily until I am sitting on the dining table with him between my legs. He kisses me. I am stiff beneath his hands. He doesn’t notice.

I spiral away from this moment and I’m back on the hill. Jack grinds me into the dirt, pushing his fingers into me. The weight of him is crushing and I can’t breathe, I can’t—

The angry vibrating of a phone brings me back to the moment. Jack reluctantly releases me and scowls at the caller ID.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask.

Without a word, he grabs me by the wrist and marches me back to the basement door. ‘I need to get this,’ is all he says.

In my prison, I sit and wait. I need another shower. I feel grimy, like his fingerprints are all over me.

It’s not long before he returns, carrying the slip dress. He tosses it on the bed beside me. ‘I need to leave.’

‘How long for?’ I ask, trying not to sound relieved.

He is tense. Flustered. ‘Few hours.’

‘Who called?’

His eyes search my face as he decides what to tell me. His hesitation means the call is important. I smile up at him, hoping he’ll soften. He does. ‘The police,’ he tells me.

I sit up straighter. ‘Why?’

The anger is back. ‘Why can’t they just leave me the fuck alone?’ He starts to pace. ‘I’ve handed David over to them on a fucking plate, for Christ’s sake.’

‘What do they want?’

He pushes his fingers back through his hair. ‘A couple of questions. I don’t know. I bet this has something to do with your sister.’

My heart races. I get to my feet. ‘No, I don’t think so,’ I babble. I need to divert his attention away from Ada. ‘She’s no threat. I mean, she’s just a housewife. She couldn’t possibly … you’re overestimating her.’

He nods. ‘Yeah. You’re right.’

I am breathing too fast. It’s fear and hope. Maybe the police know something. Maybe they’ll come. Maybe …

‘I need to go,’ he says. Distracted, he turns to leave. Then he stops and spins towards me. He strides over, grabs me before I can protest and claims my mouth with his. He pulls away slowly, and looks right into my eyes. ‘I won’t be long. If I can get out of this … maybe I can go tomorrow.’