Nobody's Goddess (Never Veil #1)(60)

My stomach clenched. I’d been so happy to win this bit of freedom that I hadn’t quite faced the fact that the man I loved would move beyond my grasp for a second time. But that was unfair. I already knew that he was long, long ago swept away out of my reach.

Alvilda squeezed my hand and pointed to the arch towering over Elweard. “How do you like my gift to the coupling?”

The arch looked familiar. “The headboard?”

Alvilda laughed. “It started off as one, but I had a burst of inspiration that told me this just had to be a wedding arch.” She lowered her voice even further and whispered in my ear. “That and I love to tease Siofra. She hates useless gifts. When she saw it, she thought I wasn’t going to make them a headboard at all, and I got an earful about always forgoing common sense to suit my poor choices. It was fun.” She smiled, and I witnessed an odd flash of something I didn’t recognize cross her features.

The music started, the dainty tune that heralded the bride and her parents’ arrival at the ceremony. The bride’s mother usually stood among them to emphasize the maternal cycle, an act the groom’s mother did not share with her son. I thought of Mother lying in the castle for a moment and felt ill. Then I shook my head to clear the stirring of venom and turned with the rest of the villagers to watch as Elfriede and Father came down the first hill and ascended the second, being sure to keep my eyes downward, off the horizon. I don’t want to see the castle anyway.

She looked beautiful, as fair as ever in a deep-violet gown I imagined to be the work of Mistress Tailor’s. It was not unlike my own, although Elfriede’s had real, live lily blooms woven into the material. Father stood beside her, a man-face mask hiding his face from me. Elfriede’s features fell when she noticed me. Then she smiled, only a slight touch of pain remaining on her face.

They reached the top of the hill, and Father removed his mask and threw it at the ground. His eyes wandered in my direction briefly, his features as cold as stone, but his gaze was quickly drawn away to the hill.

The music switched to the hearty march that signaled the arrival of the groom and his father. Jurij and Master Tailor came over the lily-covered hill, both wearing masks. Jurij’s was the man-face mask like the one he’d worn to his Returning, and Master Tailor’s was also man in form, a mask I’d never before seen him wear.

When they arrived at the top of the second hill and took their places beside Elfriede and my father, Jurij removed his mask and tossed it on the ground, leaning in toward Elfriede for a quick kiss. Master Tailor removed his man-face mask to reveal his favorite owl mask underneath. The villagers laughed. Mistress Tailor shifted uncomfortably beside me.

Jurij, his back toward me, didn’t seem to have noticed me. There was nothing in all of the land that could tear him from Elfriede. The happiness on his face slipped only slightly when he noticed the furrowed brow on Elfriede’s expression. But she soon regarded her pain in his reflection and put on her best smile. Unlike me, she could genuinely and completely shift from pain to joy. But she had Jurij, and I had nothing.

I watched the ceremony and felt the pain of the Returning flood back. Once they exchanged the last of their vows and the final kiss of the ritual, they headed back down the dirt path together hand in hand. As their feet disappeared over the hilltop toward my home, my heart sank, and I wondered if he was watching. If this was indeed why I’d been able to go, if this was what he’d wanted me to see.

My clapping slowed, even as the rest of the crowd grew more jubilant. Alvilda’s expression grew sour next to me, and she grabbed me gently by the hand. “Let’s go,” she whispered. She tugged me gently toward the back of the archway. I noticed Mistress Tailor’s bitter expression as she watched us go; Luuk and Nissa leaned in toward one another, smiling girl forehead plastered against wooden duck crown. It never ends, this wretched cycle.

“Congratulations,” Alvilda said softly to Master Tailor as we passed by him. She patted him on the back with her free hand. Master Tailor turned briefly and nodded. I thought I could hear him weeping, but the sound was hollow beneath the owl mask.

We walked around Elweard and stood behind my father. He saw us coming and pointedly turned back toward the jubilant crowd, digging into his front coat pocket and pulling out a small bottle. Before the bottle could quite reach his lips, Alvilda let me go and moved her hands to block it.

“Come, Gideon,” she said. “Come and speak now with your daughter.”

Father sighed and slid the bottle back into his pocket. The cheering crowd began to make its way toward us and the village.

“Let’s go,” said Alvilda, taking hold of Father and me, one in each arm. “We can talk at my place. We can pay our respects to the happy coupling later.”

We headed down the hill and toward the village. The specters in the distance stirred and jumped atop the carriage.



***



“Tea?” asked Alvilda, already pouring the hot water into the mugs she’d placed before Father and me. She put down the kettle and went back to her cupboard. As she rummaged around for leaves, Father snuck a sip of ale out of his bottle. Alvilda dropped the tea leaves into the water and took a seat at her sawdust-covered table between us. She looked from one of us to the other. I grabbed hold of my mug.

“Gideon,” said Alvilda, when no other voice was forthcoming. “I think it’s time you have a heart-to-heart with Noll. It’s actually high past time.”