Nobody's Goddess (Never Veil #1)(5)

A dress the color of mud and vomit couldn’t stop Elfriede’s cheeks from blooming.

The goddess was stunning today, that was plain to see. I tried to imagine Jurij standing beside her, and the face I had never seen before. For some reason, the only male face I could picture for him was the one I’d seen every day of my life, a younger, leaner version of Father. Dark skin, the color of soil soaked in rain. Bold, sharp cheeks. Tall, pointed ears like daggers jumping out from his black, curly hair—hair that at least was familiar to me.

I longed to drink in Jurij’s eyes, dark eyes that I knew carried flames within them, as did all men’s, even when the only light for leagues was the smallest sliver of the moon. I’d known him for so long. But I could only see his face in my dreams.

I shook my head. “Have you ever seen a young boy’s face?” I asked, more to Mother than to Elfriede. “I played with boys every day growing up, but I couldn’t tell them from one another when I first saw them in the morning unless they said something.” Jurij’s tame masks an exception.

“Hmm? No. I didn’t have any brothers or cousins my age, same as you, so how could I?” Mother left Elfriede and crossed the room to the chest at the edge of the bed once more, rummaging through the clothing inside. Elfriede stood patiently for what was no doubt something else to bring out the blossom in her cheeks. Her hands stayed clasped together, the corners of her mouth turned upward pleasantly.

“How do you know you’re in love with Jurij, without ever seeing his face?” It was a silly question. I knew I loved him just the same. But it was different with me. Elfriede was always too dainty to battle with monsters; she hardly knew Jurij’s name before he found the goddess in her.

Elfriede seemed a bit taken aback by the question. “What do you mean?”

“I knew you at thirteen. You and all of your girlfriends.” I counted off the boys on my fingers. “There was the oldest baker’s son. That one farmer boy. I think the candlemaker’s son? You mooned over all of the handsome older boys in the village who had their love Returned and could take off their masks. Or that strong quarry worker. He takes his shirt off so much, it really doesn’t matter what he looks like under his mask.” I smiled as Elfriede blushed and wrung her hands together.

“All of you knew that none of those boys could ever love you, since they’d already found their goddesses, but surely they made for more entertaining daydreams than some scrawny eleven-year-old with dirt all over his kitten mask declaring his love for you.”

Elfriede’s face darkened. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh come on, Friede! You cried when Jurij found the goddess in you! You were horrible to him for months, knowing he was the only one who’d ever love you—”

“Noll, stop teasing your sister.” Mother plopped a neatly folded brown piece of clothing beside me on the table. “Jurij’s a sweetheart. Elfriede was just scared and embarrassed, as most of us are when a man finds the goddess in us.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word on that.” I grabbed the folded clothing, and it tumbled over the table, the color of mud and vomit.

Mother didn’t notice the frown that crossed my face as she slid in behind Elfriede, now fussing with loose tendrils of hair that didn’t even exist. “Your man will find you someday, Noll. You’re not the first late bloomer. Why, there was a woman my age whose man wound up being a number of years younger—you know, Vena, the tavern mistress. She was at least fifteen before her husband Elweard found the goddess in her.”

“I’m sixteen.”

I think Elfriede legitimately thought she was helping when she chimed in with, “There’ve been stories of women even older than sixteen—thirty, even. Roslyn told me her grandmother knew a woman whose man was seventeen years younger.”

I could have puked right then. It would’ve blended into the color of the dress I slid over my head. “Let’s not go there. And let’s not forget those are only stories, and there’s no woman living over the age of thirteen who has yet to have her man find her. That is, no woman except me, and … ”

Her eyes. Huge, bulbous, dark brown eyes. Staring directly into mine.

“Hmm.” Mother patted Elfriede’s shoulders. “That reminds me. Ingrith is the only one who hasn’t yet been invited to the Returning.”

I rapped my fingers on the table. “Thanks, Mother. I love being compared to a crazy old woman who lives alone.”

“I wasn’t comparing you to anyone.” Mother stepped over to the sink and picked up a dish from breakfast, wiping it with a cloth. Why she wasted her time washing dishes when she could just bat her eyes and Father would do anything for her was beyond me. “But someone has to invite her. The lord is always watching—”

“—And he will not abide villagers who forget the first goddess’s teachings. I know.” Although why the first goddess ever deemed that all should be invited to celebrate a Returning, I would never understand. “Why can’t you or Father do it?”

Mother pushed aside a fallen bit of hair by rubbing the back of her forearm against her forehead. “The rest of us have been inviting people for weeks. We spoke to everyone else in the village. I think you could take the time to invite at least one person, Noll.”