Nine Lives(37)

It’s clearly thrown you because you’ve resorted to an emoji



Ha ha, she wrote back. Then, Sure, call me.

Ethan sat up in bed, propping pillows behind him, and made the call. “Hi there,” she said, her voice a little deeper than he imagined it.

“Hey. Thanks for letting me call.” He wondered what she thought of his voice, which presently sounded somewhat stupid in his own head.

“Are you about to tell me something serious? I’m suddenly worried.”

“No, no. I just figured we’d been texting so much, and I wanted to hear your voice. Is that strange?”

“Everything is strange right now,” Caroline said. “Don’t you think?”

“You mean because of the police protection? I barely even notice it now. Sometimes I don’t even see it.”

“I see it, because I never go anywhere new. They park in the same place across the street from me.”

“You went somewhere new tonight.”

“That’s true, I did. And I wanted to tell everyone about it at the dinner party, but I didn’t. Do you tell people?”

“Nope. I mean, that’s not entirely true. I told my friend Hannah, but it was late at night and I’m not sure she even believed me. Charlie told me to keep it to myself, though.”

“Who’s Charlie?”

“Oh, sorry. The police officer in charge of my protection.”

“You call him by his first name?”

“I do. He’s become my bud. What do you call your police officer?”

“Officer Hanley. She’s nice but she’s very serious, and I can’t imagine calling her by her first name.”

“That’s probably for the best. Someone named Officer Hanley sounds like someone who will keep you alive. Someone named Charlie is the guy bleeding out next to you after you’ve both been shot.”

“But you’ll be dying next to your new best bud,” Caroline said. “It’ll be romantic.”

“Yes, you’re right. If I’ve gotta go, I want Charlie by my side.” Ethan had slid down along his bed and had relaxed. Talking to Caroline was going well.

“Are you scared?” she said.

“Of dying?”

“Well, not just dying, but dying soon. Dying because we’re on the list.”

“I am scared, I guess. I was very scared when they first told me they were going to put me under police protection, but now I’ve almost gotten used to it. Also, I google the names from the list every day looking for reports of death, and I haven’t seen anyone’s name come up since Matthew Beaumont.”

“So you didn’t see Arthur Kruse?”

“What?” Ethan pushed himself up a little onto his pile of pillows.

“I saw it today. There was a memorial held for an Arthur Kruse in Massachusetts. Nothing about how he died.”

“How’d I miss that?”

“I think it’s brand-new. I saw it this afternoon.”

“So that’s three.”

“Yep, that’s three,” Caroline said. “Three that we know about, anyway. I thought that was why you wanted to call me.”

“No, I just … I just wanted to actually talk to you for once, instead of texting.”

“I’m glad you did. It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Jesus. Did the article say when he died?”

“No. Nothing. It was just a short notice about his memorial service, and how he’d been an oncology nurse. You should ask Charlie about it. Maybe he has some information.”

“Charlie and I don’t talk about work together. We’re more music buddies. And beer buddies. He talks a lot about craft breweries. I really am going to die with Charlie by my side, aren’t I?”

“It sounds like it.”

They both laughed a little, then were quiet for a moment.

“Awkward pause,” Ethan said.

“It wasn’t awkward. We were both thinking. Conversations should have more pauses, not less, I think.”

“Very profound, professor.”

“Thank you.”

“So how about you, are you afraid of dying?” Ethan said.

“I’m nervous, for sure. But the thing is, I’ve always been nervous, about everything. I get nervous about every class I teach, and I get nervous when it’s my turn to give my order at the coffee shop, and I get nervous for my weekly call to my mother, even though all we talk about is television and what she made for dinner the night before. But now I have something real to be nervous about. My name is on a list of people who seem to be dying, and it feels okay to be nervous. It’s like my emotions match reality and suddenly I feel better. Does any of this make any sense?”

“I think so,” Ethan said. “Why worry about your coffee order when you can worry about getting murdered?”

“I guess that’s pretty much it.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to belittle the whole thing.”

“No, you didn’t,” Caroline said, but Ethan could tell that his tone had lessened the conversation somehow. “Being slated for death puts things in perspective, I guess.”

“Even though we’re always slated for death.”