Nine Liars (Truly Devious, #5)(85)

“Okay,” he said. “You know, like, you and David?”

Stevie cocked her head in confusion.

“You and David,” he said again. “Vi and Janelle. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but that’s not . . . me.”

“What’s not you?”

“Romance,” he said. “Being with someone.”

“I’ve noticed,” she said.

“No,” he said. “I mean . . . ever.”

Stevie turned this over in her mind for a second.

“I’m saying I’m ace,” he said. “Asexual. I always knew, but I only kind of put the words to it in the last few months,” he went on. “You’re the first person I’ve told.”

That Nate was ace wasn’t a surprise, really—but him taking her aside to share something this important was. Stevie found herself unexpectedly choking up. She pretended to shift a hair out of her eye to clear a little tear.

Nate eyed this sign of emotion warily.

“Are you going to tell the others?” she asked.

“Probably soon,” he said. “Janelle will probably crochet me an ace pride scarf or something.”

“Ask her to make you an ace pride drone.”

“She would actually do that, wouldn’t she?”

“And she’d knit a little hat for it,” Stevie said, nodding.

“I’m going to wait until we get back. I can only handle so much of this kind of stuff at once.” He rubbed his eyes sleepily. “We already have a lot going on. But I wanted to tell you while we were here, and this seemed like the right time. I mean, I was up and you got up and we’re out doing something stupid.”

“Wait.” Stevie pivoted toward him sharply. “Does this have anything to do with all this writing you’re suddenly doing? Did coming out help you start writing again?”

“Oh my God,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “Shut up. I’m just writing. I write. I always write.”

“You don’t,” Stevie said, half under her breath. “But whatever.”

Nate inhaled sharply through his nose and Stevie moved quickly to redirect the conversation.

“You know how I feel about you, right?” she said. “Like, if you needed a kidney or something, you should definitely come to me after you’ve asked everyone else you can think of.”

“This is why I decided to tell you first,” he replied. “You’re sort of as close as I get to that stuff. That’s why I keep following you to second locations.”

They exchanged a long look of understanding. Nate, shaggy and lanky and surprisingly strong, the sleeves of his hoodie pulled down over his palms. She couldn’t even remember being a Stevie without a Nate. A silver dawn started to bloom. It was misty—droplets of moisture on everything with a gentle light shining through it. Everything had a magical air, softened, as if reality had been put through a soft-focus filter. It wasn’t daylight yet, but it was coming.

“Okay,” he said, getting up. “We’re done with feelings, right? Let’s go back inside. My ass is freezing.”

As soon as Stevie got up and turned back toward the house, she saw a figure striding across the wide expanse of the front lawn in their direction carrying something in their hands. She felt a jolt of fear, and the sudden desire to push Nate off the edge of the ha-ha to safety. This was it. She had taken him out to this remote place and they were going to die.

Except it was Theo, carrying two steaming mugs. Unlike Stevie and Nate, she was fully dressed for the day—jeans, a sweater, a wool coat, and a matching hat.

“I saw you through my bedroom window,” she said. “I always wake up early. Never have been able to sleep in. I thought you might be cold, so I brought you something to warm you up. Americans generally prefer coffee in the morning, I think? I hope instant is all right.”

This behavior of Theo’s had been recorded in the statements. Theo bringing people tea and water and coffee. Always the doctor, taking care of everyone.

“Bit early to be out walking,” she said. “But it looks like you never went back to bed.”

“Just thinking everything over,” Stevie answered honestly.

“I was doing the same,” Theo said.

Theo sat down on the stone step of the folly, and Stevie did as well. Nate lurked a bit, leaning against a pillar.

“It’s a very strange feeling,” Theo said, “a secret I’ve been holding all these years being out in the open at last. What you did last night was impressive. It’s . . . so strange. I feel like something’s missing. Of course, something—someone—is missing.”

“Do you have any idea where she might be?” Stevie asked.

“If I had the slightest clue where Angela was, I’d be there right now, not here.”

“Because you think she’s in trouble,” Stevie said.

Theo looked at the ground.

“I work in emergency medicine,” she finally said. “I see so many things, every day, from the most mundane to the utterly bizarre. Many things can happen. I don’t speculate. I treat the situation as it comes to me. In this case, all I know is that Angela left her house the other night, took the Tube to Waterloo, and hasn’t been seen since. None of that bodes well.”