Near the Bone(36)

What if Griffin and C.P. are up there and William blows them to pieces? Surely they have families that will come looking for them, and those families will find us.

(If they do then you can tell them that William killed their children and then the police will take William away and you’ll be free, free, free)

No, that was a terrible thought. Mattie didn’t want to build her freedom on the bodies of people who’d only tried to be kind to her. But she was concerned that the group would run into William while he was out hunting the creature, and that the strangers would come to harm.

If the creature hasn’t killed them already.

“I can tell you’re worrying, Mattie girl,” William said.

He stopped what he was doing and put his hand on her cheek, a gesture that nearly startled her into stepping away. William was never tender, or he hadn’t been in so long that she didn’t think he knew how to do it.

“I can see by the way your brow is furrowed,” he continued. “But I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m going to take care of that demon and keep us safe, and then I’ll come home to you just like I always do.”

Don’t come home, she thought, but she made sure that the words stayed behind her eyes, deep inside where he couldn’t see them.

“Of course,” she said, and pushed a smile out so that he would know she believed him.

“Things are going to be better for us after this,” William said. “I see that now. God sent this demon to try me, and when I defeat it, He’ll finally bless us with sons as a reward. All things are as He means them to be. And when we have sons, Mattie—when you’re finally a mother as you’re meant to be—I won’t have to punish you so often, because your heart will be content as all women’s hearts are when they fulfill their purpose.”

“Yes, William,” she said, and lowered her eyes modestly to the ground and hid the fierce and burning sickness that had suddenly bubbled up in her throat. She didn’t want his sons. The idea of being chained to him by another human being was repugnant. And she didn’t want to think about how he might raise such a son, how William might train the boy to be just the image of his father.

I must get away before he manages to get me pregnant again.

“You’re a good girl,” William said, and kissed her forehead. “I know that God will bless us soon.”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to go set a few other traps in places where we saw its tracks,” he said.

“Like snares?” Mattie asked, doubtful that a feeble piece of rope could capture such a monster.

“No, I’m going to dig a few pits,” William said. “It will probably take me most of the day. I’ll do one close to the cabin, back behind the outhouse, in case it decides to come back that way. The tracks led away in that direction after it left its unholy message in the snow. After that I’ll head up the way we went yesterday and dig out another one.”

Pits, Mattie thought. Pits were dangerous to people walking in the woods, people who didn’t know that there was a madman living on the mountain trying to catch a demon.

She didn’t have any way of warning them. There was nothing she could do.

“I brought some fresh bread and cheese yesterday,” William continued. “You could have it as a treat for your lunch today.”

Mattie half-wished there’d been a monster on the mountain always, for William had probably never been so nice to her as he was today.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “You’re always so good to me.”

“I’ll bring the food in from the storehouse and then I’ll head out,” he said, slinging his pack over his shoulder.

Mattie watched through the window as he went out to the storehouse. He unlocked the door with the key on his key ring, went inside, and emerged holding a loaf of bread and a hunk of yellow cheese wrapped in a cloth. Mattie went to the door to take the items from him so he wouldn’t have to track snow inside.

“Eat as much as you like today,” he said. “You need to get strong so my seed can take root.”

And then he went off around the back of the cabin. Mattie closed the front door, placed the food on the table and went to the back window. William took his gardening spade out of the small wooden trunk that held their tools and slung it over his shoulder. He went off behind the outhouse. Mattie wondered how far he’d go, and if it was safe to try to fiddle with the lock on his special trunk again.

She cracked the window despite the cold, in hopes that she would be able to hear William working. Sure enough, the sound of the shovel scraping through snow drifted in. He wasn’t far enough for Mattie to feel safe trying the trunk.

She placed the bread and cheese on the table.

I used to love cheese sandwiches. American cheese on white bread with yellow mustard. I wouldn’t let Mom pack anything else for me.

She had a sudden, distinct memory of unzipping a hot-pink lunchbox and inside was a cheese sandwich wrapped in waxed paper and an apple and a Twinkie.

“A Twinkie,” she murmured. “I’d forgotten about Twinkies.”

She’d forgotten about so many things, and all those forgotten moments would emerge so abruptly that it sometimes made her feel sick and dizzy, the past lying over her present like two pieces of a puzzle that didn’t fit together.