My Maddie (Hades Hangmen #8)(68)

I cleared my throat and stared down at the river. A small wooden bridge was situated beside us. “I did not know you, Isaiah,” I started. Asher and Flame tensed. “I wish I had known you.” I smiled, imagining a baby with dark hair and dark eyes just like the two Cade brothers who towered over me. “I imagine you would have grown up to be tall and strong, like Asher and Flame.” I felt a teardrop from Asher hit the back of my hand. Flame remained unmoving. I prayed my words were soothing his jagged soul. The flow of the river spurred me to continue.

“You were a blessing. Every baby is.” Flame choked on a cry. I wanted nothing more than to hold him. But I had to hold Asher too. “You were loved, little one. You were loved so much by your mother, and by your brother… Josiah.” As I said his name, Flame stepped away. He tried to edge back from the river, but I held on, keeping him close. “You were pure and good. You deserved much more from life than you received.” The gentle breeze wrapped through my hair. I could not help but picture our baby in a young Flame’s arms, crying for help, its little breaths limited when that help never came. As that image hit me, the sheer severity of Flame’s trauma revealed itself to my already bruised heart. To witness such a tragedy, to have to endure it when you did not understand the world, was surely the worst. I wanted to wrap Flame in a warm embrace and never let him go, to ensure no one in this messed up world could ever get to him, to ensure he will never feel a lesser being again.

I had to finish this, I had to see it through.

“But God wanted you to come home,” I continued. “Your mama needed you back in her arms.” I felt our baby move and my face crumpled with sadness for the boy who never got to live, who never got to know Flame or Asher, who did not get to feel their fraternal love. “God took you from an evil man who would harm you.”

Flame was panting, struggling to keep calm. When I turned to Asher, his cheeks were coated in tears. His eyes were red from the intensity of his crying. But he stood stoic and strong. Both of my Cade brothers did. They had no idea how proud of them I was, or how truly miraculous they were.

“He removed you from an evil that he could not let you endure, and He placed you in His safety, and in the arms of your loving mama.” I sniffed back my tears. “But in doing so you, Isaiah, you never said goodbye to the big brother who always tried to keep you safe. Who held you, comforted you, and loved you, up until you breathed your last breath, passing from this cruel world into one of peace and light and love.” I paused, to recover my voice. “A big brother who believed he had hurt you in some way, a big brother who punished himself for it, every day. This, when all he did was try—try to love you for who you were and to pray you would never leave him.”

In my peripheral vision I saw Flame drop his head. As I looked up to him, his eyes were closed. But from the corners, tears fell. It was my undoing. Turning into Flame’s arm, I raised his hand, now clasped in mine, and kissed it. “Today we have come to say goodbye, Isaiah. To tell you that you were so loved, and you have been missed. You are missed every single day.” The sun began to set, rays flickering off the mirror-like surface of the river, casting a light that resembled the sparkle of diamonds. “I did not have the best start in life,” I admitted. Flame stilled. Looking up at my husband, I waited until he looked at me.

“Like you, Isaiah, Josiah saved me. He took me from a life of servitude and constant pain into a life so rich with happiness, I still barely believe it is real.” I made sure to hold Flame’s gaze. “He loves so purely, so deeply, and so true. And I know he loved you in the same way.” I squeezed Asher’s hand. “In the same way he loves all his brothers.” I smiled, though my lips were trembling. “Flame will cherish his child in the same way. He will never hurt her or him, just as he never hurt you.” I closed my eyes. “The purest souls may not be granted a long life.” I recalled scripture from my days in The Order. “The righteous perish, and yet no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.”

The warm breeze wrapped itself around us like a mother’s embrace. “You were spared from evil, Isaiah. You were spared from a man who would seek to do you harm. In death, you received protection… you were granted peace. You left this world cradled in the arms of the person who loved you most.” My voice lost strength as I added, “I can think of no better way to pass.” Taking a deep breath, trying to hold on for just a few moments longer, I said, “Goodbye Isaiah Cade. We love you. You will always be in our hearts. Watch over us from Heaven. One day, when it is our time, we shall see you again.”

Bringing Asher and Flame’s hands to my eyes, I cried. I cried for the innocent baby who never lived. I cried for the brothers beside me who had yet to find peace. “We shall all see you again, we shall see your mama and Asher’s mama… and we shall all love in peace.”

Please… I found myself praying, hands still clasped in Asher’s and Flame’s. Help them both heal. Help Flame to be free from the burden that bleeds joy from his soul. Enable Asher to understand that he is wanted and loved. Please bestow peace on my Cade boys. Allow them to feel love… allow them to finally feel free.





Chapter Twelve