My Favorite Souvenir(80)

Her eyes went wide. “Oh my God!”

I looked behind me to my right and left, assuming she’d probably just seen a rat run by. “What? What’s the matter?”

Hazel covered her mouth. “I’m actually getting turned on next to a dumpster full of dead fish.”

I chuckled. “Oh, yeah. That. I know the feeling.”

Hazel sighed. “But seriously, Matteo. I want you so much it hurts. My desire for you has never been the problem. I’ve been unable to stop thinking dirty thoughts about you since the first night we became the Hookers. And that was even before I knew what an amazing person you are on the inside, too.”

I reached forward and took her hand. “I feel the exact same way. That’s why yesterday, when you asked me if I slept with Carina while I was home before I went to New York, I thought you must not really understand how I feel about you. A gorgeous woman could’ve shown up at my door completely naked and thrown herself at me, saying all she wanted was a one-night stand, and still nothing would’ve happened. You know why?”

“Why?”

I squeezed her hand. “Because she’s not you, babe.”

Hazel smiled, but then she looked down at her hands for a moment. “The night of Brady’s birthday, he kissed me.”

My heart sank into my stomach. Seeing the look on my face, Hazel shook her head.

“Well, we didn’t really kiss. It was more like he tried to kiss me. I pushed him off, but he tried again.”

My jaw clenched so tight, I thought I might crack a molar. “Are you saying he forced himself on you? Because that’s not fucking okay. I don’t give a shit if you’re mine or not, I’ll rip his damn heart out.”

Hazel took my other hand and squeezed both. “It wasn’t like that. At least it didn’t get that far. I told him to stop, and I left.”

I got up and started to pace. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me any of this when we were in New York?”

“Because there was no reason to upset you. I’d handled it, and Brady… Well, it was more my fault than his. I’d gone to his house on his birthday, and we were getting along well. He just read the situation wrong. After four years of being together, you grow a certain level of comfort at reading the signs, and it’s not like you ask permission anymore. Even though we weren’t together, he thought it was okay. And when I said no, I guess he thought I just needed a little convincing. I’ll be honest, over the years there were a few times when I was tired or not in the mood, and he’d just pushed a little, and I’d changed my mind. So I think in his head, that’s what was going on. Only my mind was somewhere else altogether.”

I dragged a hand through my hair and kept walking back and forth. I wasn’t normally a violent person, but the rage I felt inside as I pictured what had gone down between the two of them made me want to put my fist through the side of the steel dumpster.

Hazel stood and walked into my path, halting my pacing. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Hazel, he had no right to touch you, especially not more than once. I don’t give a shit how you justify it, that is not okay.”

In my fury, I’d gotten up and started to lose my shit, but I hadn’t stopped to really look at Hazel. Seeing her face now, my heart broke. Her eyes were rimmed with tears.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

She covered my hands with hers and shook her head, sniffling. “This came out all wrong. I didn’t mean to bring up what happened with Brady to upset you. I told you because I was trying to explain that I couldn’t kiss another man, not even a man I was once supposed to marry, even when it was his birthday, Matteo.”

I pulled her into my chest and wrapped her in a hug. I’d been holding back on taking things any further partly out of some old allegiance to my friend—a friend who cheated on his fiancée, broke her heart when he dumped her, and then tried to force himself on her when he decided he was done fucking around with the other woman.

But you know what? This was the last straw. Regardless of my feelings for Hazel, Brady wasn’t the type of guy I needed as a friend. And I was an idiot for not using the little time I had with the woman I loved to try to make her mine.

I looked into Hazel’s eyes. “Listen, I’m going to make this conversation very simple. I want you. I want to walk around town holding your hand, whether that’s in New Orleans or Seattle or New York City. I want your mud masks in our bathroom and your smiles all over our walls. I want you in my bed and underneath me—or on top if you want. I’m not holding back anymore. So when you’re ready, just say the word.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time. Eventually, Hazel nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

She smiled. “Except what’s the word?”

My forehead wrinkled. “The word?”

“You said I just had to say the word when I’m ready. Well, what’s the magic word?”

I kissed her forehead. “How about hooker? I think that’s fitting, don’t you?”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you for being you, Matteo.”

I chuckled. “No problem, considering I don’t know how to be anyone else.”