Mr Spencer(60)

“He was being sweet, gentle, making jokes and trying so hard to make me feel at ease.”

She smiles and takes my hand over the table. “Lottie, I’m so glad you waited for someone who actually took the time to read your body language.”

“Me, too.” I smile. “But I know what he’s like, and... I’m just not trying to let myself get inside my own head, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were in bed, I didn’t think about losing my virginity or him or… anything, really. I was just trying to get through it. It fucking hurt.” I widen my eyes. “A lot.”

“It must have. He isn’t packing heat, he’s packing the whole fucking oven.”

I giggle. “And you saw the shrivelled-up version.”

She laughs.

“The aroused version is very angry, let me tell you.”

“Imagine walking around with a thing of that size in your pants. It must get in your way.”

“I know, right?”

“Okay… so, the first time was just okay.”

I smile. “It was good for me, but I know he wasn’t being himself. I still think he liked it.”

“Ah.” She nods. “What about the other two occasions?’

“This morning.” I smile, remembering it all. “But afterwards there was this feeling of… I can’t explain it. The way he was holding me close. It was really nice. And then the last time was different again.”

“How so?”

“He was intense, and the way he kissed me.” I fake a shiver. “God, it’s just good, that’s all I know. It gets better each time we do it. I’m trying to play it cool, though. I’m not asking for any more dates, I’m just going to see where it goes,” I tell her.

“Good.”

“It’s one thing to be a virgin, but to be a clingy virgin is the worst.”

“I agree. But you’ve done it now, and whether this turns out to last or not is irrelevant really. He was sweet and gentle. He put your needs before his.”

I smile. “He really did. You should have heard the goofy jokes he was making to try and take my anxiety away from me.”

“Like what?”

“He spilled my champagne and then took his shirt off to wipe it up. He eventually confessed that it was a strategic move on his part.”

She smiles as she listens.

“Then we were joking around about the sharp crystals on my dress and he was talking about Finding Nemo to be all cute. Then told me he was in the “Guinness Book of Records” for having the smallest dick.”

She laughs. “We both know that’s a lie.”

“We do.”

Her face falls. “Just be careful, Lottie. You know that it may not work out, right?”

“I know that.”

“And it’s okay if it doesn’t,” she reminds me with a smile.

I nod. “At this point, Spencer is just a friend who helped me through a very awkward situation in a really sweet way.”

“That’s true.”

“And if we keep being friends for a while, that’s great. If not, that’s okay, too.”

She grins, looking proud. “Look at you being all grown up and sensible. I’m so happy you are seeing this for what it is. I was so worried you were going to fall madly in love with the first guy you slept with.” She sips her coffee.

“Don’t be stupid.” I fake a smile, and from somewhere deep inside I hear a little voice whispering, Too late.





*



There’s a crime show of some sort on the television. Someone has just been murdered but the body hasn’t been found, although they are searching high and low for it.

“It was obviously the guy from the apartment block,” Spencer says.

I smirk. “It wasn’t him; he had an alibi.”

“I’m telling you, it was him.” He looks up at me. “I have a sixth sense about these things. I should have been a cop.”

I kiss his forehead. “You poor, deluded man. You would have made a terrible cop because it wasn’t the guy from the apartment block.”

“Just wait and see, Prescott. Just wait and see.”

It’s late at night and neither of us want to go to sleep. That will mean that our date is over. Spencer is well and truly focused on solving this crime, but my focus is on the man next to me who has his head on my chest.

I’m in my nightdress and, of course, Spencer is naked. We have fucked ourselves into some kind of sated bliss.

We are lying here just enjoying the show, and each other. Every now and then he kisses my breast and my fingers run aimlessly through his hair.

This physical touch thing is so real.

I’ve never had it, and now that I do, I don’t want to let it go.

“You know on our first date you told me you had an idea about what you wanted to do with your law degree…”

“Yes.” I play with his hair, wondering where this is going.

He pulls back to look at me. “What was your idea?”

I sigh. “I had this crazy idea of opening a law firm that represented charities for free.”

“What do you mean?”