Mother of All Secrets(17)

“She does. I feel so sorry for her. Her only daughter. Though she seems to be managing.” Ever diplomatic, so far Vanessa was giving me nothing.

I waded a bit further into gossip territory. “Any idea what Connor does for work? That house is insane.” Of course, I already knew where he worked. But maybe she knew more than I did.

“I’m not really sure. Finance, I think. That world is kind of foreign to me. Isabel had mentioned his job involved demanding clients, a lot of travel. Seems like he does pretty well for himself.” Another understatement. The idea that someone my age could own that house astounded me.

We both paused at a crosswalk. When the signal changed and we stepped off the curb, she finally spoke. “I think it’s a little strange that Connor didn’t know she was in a new moms’ group.”

Finally. “Totally! I thought the same thing. Like, I’m not sure if Tim would be able to name every single woman and baby in the group, but he at least knows I’m in one.”

“Right. Of course, it doesn’t mean anything—he seems like a nice enough guy. It just bothered me a little bit.”

“Yeah. And oh my God, remember he was like, ‘Are you the yoga group?’ Kind of douchey.” It was a relief to be communicating openly with Vanessa, at last.

“Right. It seems certain that she would have mentioned us, no? And it’s sad to think that he couldn’t be bothered to care what she was up to, how she was spending her days with their new baby.” She spoke with a slight bitterness that made it seem like this was personal to her.

“I definitely wouldn’t like it if Tim treated my friends that way. I’m sure you feel the same way about your—I’m sorry, are you . . . with anyone? I can’t believe I’ve never really asked!” It seemed the right time to ask, since we were on the topic of partners. I hoped my tone sounded open and casual.

She took a deep breath.

“I’m actually not. Phoebe’s father . . . didn’t want anything to do with this. That’s part of the reason that we moved here, actually. It’s just me and her, and I wanted a fresh start.”

“Wow, I’m so sorry. That’s—”

She cut me off, shaking her head, refusing the sympathy I’d been about to offer. “It’s okay. So far, it’s going well this way. I don’t want anyone around her who doesn’t love her the way she deserves to be loved. And to be honest, I didn’t even know if I’d ever have a baby . . . this was all a pretty big surprise.” She looked over and held my gaze as we walked. “Listen. I felt a little weird telling the group, since you guys talk about your husbands so much. I didn’t want to be the odd woman out, or make you feel reticent talking about your own husbands, because you totally shouldn’t.”

I felt guilty that we had made her feel uncomfortable with what was admittedly, at times, excessive husband chatter. “I totally get why you didn’t want to say anything, but it only makes me think you’re even more amazing than I did before! You’re a badass single mom.” Like mine, I almost added, but I still didn’t want to talk about her. I also didn’t want to change the subject. “I give you so much credit. Plus, you’re a catch . . . You’ll probably meet someone very soon who loves both you and Phoebe. If you want to, of course.” I was rambling but actually meant every word.

“That’s sweet of you to say. Of course, I have help—my nanny, Cynthia, is amazing. She does so much for us.” Leave it to Vanessa to be unfailingly gracious. “I thought it would be hard to find help on such short notice, since my move happened kind of suddenly, but I really lucked out.”

“Another question I can’t believe I haven’t asked yet, but where did you move from again?”

“DC. I was here in the city for med school, though, so it’s familiar to me . . . and it’s good to be back. It was time for a change.”

We were approaching my apartment on Eighty-Sixth Street. “Okay, well . . . this is me.” I couldn’t even think about inviting her in because my apartment was a sty. Plus, it was time for me to feed Clara, who was fidgeting and groaning, though not actually crying, in her carrier. “Thanks for today. I’m so glad we went together. God, I hope she’s okay. What Louise said about the bloodstains sounded really bleak. Too much blood for a minor injury?” I shuddered.

“Yeah, very much so. Well, I’m sure we’ll learn more in the days to come.” We hugged. I started to walk toward the door. “Oh, and Jenn?”

I turned around.

“Do you mind not saying anything to the rest of the girls about me being a single mom? I don’t know, I just still feel a little self-conscious. I’ll probably tell them at some point, but I’m not sure when.”

“Of course. I won’t say anything. I promise.” I could certainly understand where she was coming from, having not yet told them about my mom. Some things were easier to compartmentalize.

“Thanks. See you next week. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

I doubted how much I could enjoy it, with thoughts of Isabel trailing blood down West Eighty-Eighth Street. But I wished Vanessa the same before heading inside.





Chapter Eight



Sunday, October 4

I continued to obsessively search for news hits on Isabel, and remained disappointed to find very little. I didn’t understand why her family wasn’t offering a big reward, plastering her face all over every local news source they could access. With Connor’s big job, I was sure that he had the connections and resources to make that happen. But maybe his job was the exact reason they were trying to keep it quiet. He had seemed very concerned with privacy when we were at their house.