More Than This (More Than, #1)(51)

"He just said that he was sorry about what happened that night, with James and with my family. He said that even though his best friend is a dick, doesn't mean that he is. I was sad because he said that he would miss me when we went off to college, we were friends too, you know? And it shouldn't have to end because James is an *."

I take a deep audible breath in, then huff it out loudly.

"You should have just told me." I say to her.

"You should have just asked,” she replies.

It's quiet for a few moments.

"I don't know that it's my place to ask. I mean, do I have a right to ask?"

"Who was the girl, Jake?"

"She was no one"

Silence.

I tell her, "She’s this girl that went to my school, she's the coach’s daughter. She threw herself at me and I stopped it as soon as I knew what was happening. Swear it."

She sighs out a breath and moves closer to me. Burying her face in my chest. I hold onto her.

"You have the right to ask, Jake. But you have no reason to."


Chapter 29


Mikayla


“So, Lucy’s all up in this girls face, picks up a random drink from one of the tables, and throws it at her,” Cam says laughing.

“What did she say afterwards? It was so f*cking funny.” Logan joins in, trying to remember.

Apparently after we left the club some girl was at the bar next to Cam trying to get him to notice her, and when he brushed her off, she grabbed his junk. Not in a bad way, but like… a seductive way.

“Oh yeah!” Logan laughs out. Then, with his high pitched girl voice, neck snap, fingers clicking attitude, “My man would never touch you, you f*cking slut! You’re so f*cking ugly it’s like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a goddamn fork!”

We all crack up.

We’re at Lucy’s cabin, drinking around a bonfire.

It’s good times.

“I was so f*cking turned on by it.” Cam says.

Lucy just sits quietly.

“And she knew it too,” Cam continues, “she turns into this animal when she knows I’m turned on, she blew me in the car on the drive home!”

“What?” Heidi yells, disgusted look on her face.

The boys all cheer for Cam and I stifle my laughter into Jake's neck. I feel his body shake with that deep throaty chuckle I love so much. I go to look at his face but his cap is in the way. I flip it backwards so I can get closer to him and he looks down and smiles at me.

I look to Lucy but she doesn’t say anything, just looks down and blushes. It must be true.


After the laughter dies down a little, Logan sighs out loud. “I can’t wait to get the f*ck out of this hick town.” We all look at him.

His eyes are red and his lids are droopy. He’s obviously beyond buzzed. He’s been slurring his words the last hour and he hasn’t stopped drinking. I asked Jake if we should cut him off, but he assures me that he knows his limit.

"I just kinda get sick of being the seventh wheel, you know?” He’s still looking down but we all eye each other curiously. It’s a big deal when Logan has something serious to say, so we listen.

“I mean, even before Jake met Micky,” I tense but Jake's hands squeeze me reassuringly, “when he was single, it wasn't like he was on the prowl or anything, but he didn't care, you know? It was never about girls with him. I just… I dunno. Sometimes I watch all you guys and I want that. I know I'm an * but it's not like…” he shrugs to himself.

We look from each other to Logan, I guess we never thought this was something he ever felt.

"I mean, I see you guys, that you all get each other, that you want to be around each other all the f*cking time, and you're there you know, through all of it. I finish my days and I got no one to go to, nobody gives a shit if I have a bad day or not. I just…” He sighs out a heavy breath and looks to the sky, hand rubbing through his hair.

"I dunno, I mean I know I sleep around and I'm an * but it's not like I haven't been looking. I just haven't found anyone that makes me feel anything. Not like the way you all feel about each other. I guess I’m just wasted…“ he trails off.


No one says anything. What do you say to that?


***


“Come for a walk with me?” Jake asks, his hand held out.

So I do.

We end up sitting on a dock I didn’t know existed.

“Your friends are great, Jake.”

“Yeah, they’re good people, they like you.”

I smile to myself, because I do too. Like them, I mean.

We’re sitting cross legged facing each other, the moon the only source of light.

His hands reach out to take both of mine, his fingers playing with the rings on my right hand. He lifts it to his mouth and kisses my ring finger, like it’s the most natural thing in the world for him.

“So that was crazy, right? What Logan said,” he asks.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess so. But not everyone finds someone they want to be with this young. Even for a little bit, you know?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It sucks for him. Not having someone, I mean.”

“Yeah, I guess.”