Missing You(68)

“A greater pain, I’d argue,” Kat said.

“And I don’t disagree.” Tessie let loose a long breath. “There is one more problem.”

“I’m listening.”

“My information. It is all based on rumors. A friend of Gary’s—you remember Gary?”

“Flo’s husband.”

“Right. So a friend of Gary’s told Gary and Gary told Flo and Flo told me. So for all I know, it’s a load of garbage.”

“But you don’t think it is,” Kat said.

“Right, I don’t think it is. I think it’s the truth.”

Tessie seemed to be bracing herself.

“It’s okay,” Kat said in the gentlest voice she could muster. “Tell me.”

“Your father had a girlfriend.”

Kat blinked twice. Tessie had warned that this revelation would hurt. It would, Kat supposed, but right now, it was as though the words were skimming the surface, not yet penetrating the skin.

Tessie kept her eyes on Kat. “I would say it’s no big deal—hell, I’d bet more than half the married men in this town had girls—but there were a few things that made this case different.”

Kat swallowed, trying to sort her thoughts. “Like what?”

“You sure you don’t want a drink?”

“No, Aunt Tessie, I’m fine.” Kat straightened her back and fought through it. “What made my father’s case different?”

“For one thing, it seemed to be ongoing. Your father spent quite a bit of time with her. Most guys, it’s one night, one hour, a strip club, maybe a short fling with a girl at work. This wasn’t like that. This was more serious. That’s what the rumors were, anyway. That’s why he’d disappear. They traveled together, I guess, I don’t know.”

“Mom knew?”

“I don’t know, honey.” Then: “Yes, I think so.”

“Why didn’t she leave him?”

Tessie smiled. “And go where, sweetheart? Your mother was raising three children. He was the provider and the husband. We didn’t have options back then. Plus, well, your mother loved him. And he loved her.”

Kat snorted. “You’re kidding, right?”

Tessie shook her head. “See, you’re young. You think things are simple. My Ed had girlfriends too. You want to know the truth? I didn’t care. Better her than me, that’s what I thought. I had all these kids and was always pregnant—I was happy he was leaving me alone, if you want to know the truth. You don’t imagine feeling that way when you’re young, but you do.”

So that was it, Kat thought. Dad had a girlfriend. A whole bunch of emotions ricocheted through her. Per her yoga training, she saw the emotions, but for right now, because she needed to stay focused, she simply let them go.

“There’s something else,” Tessie said.

Kat raised her head and looked at her.

“You have to remember where we live. Who we are. What the times were like.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Your father’s girlfriend,” Tessie said. “Well, again this is what Gary’s friend said. See, a married man with another woman? No surprise, right. No one would have said boo. Gary’s friend wouldn’t have even noticed, except he said that this girlfriend was, um, black.”

Again Kat blinked, not sure what to make of it. “Black? You mean like African American?”

Tessie nodded. “Rumor—and again, this is just rumor probably fueled by racism—but someone thought she was some prostitute he busted. That was how they met or something. I don’t know, I doubt that.”

Kat felt dizzy. “Did my mother know?”

“I never told her, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Then Kat remembered something. “Wait, Flo told her, didn’t she?”

Tessie didn’t bother to confirm or deny. Now, finally, Kat knew another truth—why there had been a yearlong silence between Flo and Mom. Flo had told Mom about the black prostitute, and Mom had promptly gone into denial.

But as emotionally wrenching as this was—Kat still didn’t know how she felt other than sad—it also seemed irrelevant to the issue at hand. She could cry about it later. For now, Kat needed to figure out if any of this had anything to do with her father’s murder.

“Do you know the woman’s name?” Kat asked.

“Not really, no.”

Kat frowned. “Not really?”

“Let it go, honey.”

“You know I can’t,” Kat said.

Tessie looked everywhere but at Kat. “Gary said her street name was Sugar.”

“Sugar?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know if that’s true or not.”

“Sugar what?”

“I don’t know.”

The blows just kept coming. Kat wanted to curl up in a ball and ride them out, but she didn’t have that luxury. “Do you know what happened to Sugar after my father’s murder?”

“No,” Tessie said.

“Did she—”

“That’s all I know, Kat. There’s nothing more.” Tessie started back on the plants again. “So what are you going to do now?”