Misfits Like Us (Like Us #11)(86)

“You would’ve never done cocaine?” I state with no ounce of hope because I know it’s not the truth even as I say it.

He knows it’s not the truth, which is why he doesn’t say it himself.

Beckett is honest. Always.

He chose to kick me off his detail rather than quit using, and I expected it. I always expected it.

Because I know addicts.

I know they disappoint you. I know that no matter how much you love them, it won’t help them. It just makes everything more painful.

“I thought about all the times I coulda told you to stop,” I mention to him. “I thought about all the times I enabled you ‘cause I didn’t think it’d matter to you what I said. I’ve thought about how maybe it would’ve, and I hate myself for not trying.” I take a strained breath and my eyes hit the painting on his wall. A knot tightens in my stomach.

“I stopped,” Beckett says softly.

I believe him. “I’m glad, man.” I’m really glad.

His fingers glide through his dark hair. Floral tattoos spindle down his arm. I remember when I inked those for him. Tension still lines his jaw and chest.

“You still seem pissed.” My pulse is on another ascent.

His yellow-greens flicker to me. “I heard you took Joana on a date.”

I didn’t expect that. “That’s what’s got you all pissy?”

Beckett rolls his eyes. “She’s not someone you should fuck around with—”

“She’s my best friend’s sister. I’d never fuck around with her. I was teaming up with her to jab at Oscar. It was a joke. Pretend.”

He winces at that word. Pretend. “My sister fake-dated her bodyguard and now they’re expecting a baby in November.” He aims his words like a sword. Swift swings.

Clean cuts.

My frown deepens. “I didn’t know you liked Jo like that.” I haven’t been around. Then again, I’ve been present. We were all snowed-in in Scotland together, but I didn’t say much to Beckett. He never said much to me.

I know Oscar was freaked out about Beckett flirting with his little sister, but I didn’t think anything of it. I tried to leave him in the past. So it wouldn’t hurt as my life continued without him.

“I never said I liked her,” Beckett says, more defensively. “She’s possibly the most annoying woman I’ve ever met in my life. A borderline brat.”

Damn he likes her.

He must see that on my face because he grows frustrated. “She’s living in this apartment building. Down the hall, Donnelly. So maybe I do feel a sense of responsibility to ensure that my ex-bodyguard isn’t fucking with her.”

I look him dead in the eye. “When have I ever fucked with someone?”

Beckett careens his head back, staring pained at the ceiling. “You never have.”

He’s jealous.

We both know he’s jealous of me. Because I went out with her. “Green really isn’t a Cobalt’s color, you know.”

He pinches his eyes. “How is it that I feel more ashamed in everything I do without you?” He drops his hand, looking into me again.

“You shouldn’t, man. You were all confidence and whatnot before I came along.” I dig in my pocket, touching my cigarettes, but I decide not to pull ‘em out. “I won’t go after your girl.”

He gives me his classic what the fuck face. “She’s not my girl.”

“My bad, I meant your borderline brat.”

Beckett rarely glares, but he’s glaring after I called Jo that. As if only he can.

I haven’t seen him be like this towards anyone. Except, maybe, Leo.

No, definitely Leo.

I’m smirking.

“Shut up,” he retorts with a rising smile. “You know nothing.”

“My lips are always sealed, Beck.” I can’t hide my grin.

His chest lifts with a deeper breath. “I miss this.”

I nod once, “Stamp.” The corner of my eye catches sight of the painting again. The Consummation of Empire shows the height of a built civilization. Marbled structures with columns reminiscent of the Roman Empire overlook a riverbank and bridge where crowds are gathered to celebrate a king.

Beckett has the painting of an empire before its fall.

Where everyone is joyful. And I can’t do it. I can’t hand that over to my family to destroy.

“Gotta go,” I tell him with a nod. “It was good catching up.”

He frowns now. “That’s all you wanted?” He’s watching me back away towards the door. “To catch up?” Skepticism cinches his brows. He eyes me, then the painting. Wondering why I was staring at the thing, probably.

I just nod and then give him the hand sign that means love. It’s the rock on gesture but with my thumb out.

And then I head out.

Luna meets me at the front door before I go. Quietly, I tell her, “I didn’t ask him.” I bend down to tie my untied bootlace.

Her eyes soften. “It’s alright.” Her voice is a whisper. “Maybe your cousin is bluffing anyway.”

“Hope so.” Because I don’t have another plan right now.

She watches me knot the lace. “Where are you going after this?” She probably knows I have the day off because her brother stayed home from school.