Mind Games (Mind Games, #1)(51)

“Why are you bringing me?” I ask, suddenly suspicious. “Am I some sort of bait to force Fia back? I won’t do it. If you take me in public, I’ll scream bloody murder. I will not ruin her chance to be free.”

“It wasn’t my idea.” He zips up a bag, then pushes past me. “I don’t want to bring you any more than you want to come. But Fia said she would only meet me if she could see you with us.”

“Then I’m not coming.” I stand straighter, triumphant. If the only way I can be there for my sister is by not being there, then that’s what I’ll do. I don’t care what they do to me. I’ll figure out how to get away on my own, if I know that Fia is free.

“I don’t have time for this,” he snaps. “I need to be in St. Louis in case she calls again.” My front door opens, and he shouts for Darren. I run into my room, lock it, then barricade myself in my closet. I won’t. I won’t go.

The pounding starts on the bedroom door, and I brace my feet against the closet. Then it’s light, and I’m outside.

The air is heavy with humidity, the spring day almost oppressively warm. Everything has a sleepy, thick feel to it; even the buzz of a lawn mower nearby is muffled. I look and see two girls, the same height, their hair the same color. One is beautiful, her face haunted and innocent at the same time. The other is me.

I am seeing myself again.

We’re next to some strange building, the narrow wall brilliant silver and going straight up into the sky. Green grass surrounds it and people who aren’t in focus pass around us, not connected to us, not noticing us. I can’t see anyone I recognize, but I know—I can feel—that we are being watched. Fia puts her hands out and takes mine. She’s holding my hands!

She looks awful. She’s in a black shirt that’s too big for her, there’s a bruise forming on one cheek, and she has nasty cuts on her arms. I look absolutely terrified.

“Fia,” I say. My voice sounds strange, foreign. Like I am barely squeezing it out. “I’m so sorry. For everything. But it’s okay. I understand.” I smile and, though tears are streaming down my face, I keep smiling.

“Annie,” she whispers. “It’s the only way. I can’t protect you anymore, and we can never be free. Not together. I’m so sorry, but it’s the only way.” She lets go of my hands; I keep them in fists at my side. Then Fia leans forward and kisses my forehead. She pulls out a knife that gleams as brilliant silver as the building. It glints in the sun as she holds it at her side. “I love you. I love you, but I need you to be dead. You have to be dead.”

She brings the knife between us, and all I can see is our bodies, the knife somewhere in the middle, and her other arm behind me like she is hugging me. Then she steps back and the knife is red, so red, and I drop to the ground, my hands on my stomach.

I don’t move.

I’m not moving.

Fia holds out the silver-red knife, looks down at it. “Good-bye, Annie. I love you.” Then she turns and walks away.

And I am on the ground, and I am not moving, and I will never move again.

The door back in the darkness crashes open and someone grabs me roughly by the arms and yanks me out of the closet.

“Don’t do this, Annie,” James says. “We can make you come.”

“Be careful with her!” Eden shouts. “Annie, what’s wrong? She’s freaking out.”

“Of course she’s freaking out, that’s what she does.”

I barely listen to James and Eden bickering about me. I can’t go. If I go, Fia will kill me. Why would she do that? Why? Why after all this time? She kills me! She kills me! She…

She needs me to be dead. I’ve said it myself so many times: Fia can never be free because she will always have to protect me. As long as I’m alive, there will be a way to control Fia, to force her to do things she never would otherwise.

As long as I’m alive.

Fia needs me to be dead. I swallow hard, more scared than I have ever been my entire life. Except that night, the night Fia took the pills and I thought I’d lose her forever. Keane has made it clear that if Fia doesn’t come back, I am as good as dead. I have no doubt his method will be far more horrifying and painful than hers. If this is the only thing I can ever do for her, if this is the only way I can protect her, like she’s always tried to protect me, how can I not do it? She’d give up her future for me. She already did.

“It’s okay, guys,” I say, surprised by how clear and calm my voice comes out. Maybe I can lie, after all. “I’ll come with you. It’s fine.”

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. I will do this for Fia. It’s finally my turn to take care of her.





FIA

Late Wednesday Morning


I SHOULD WEAR A BLACK SHIRT TODAY. I PULL ONE out of the small pile of clothes the Lerner group provided. Jeans. Shoes I can move in.

My hands tremble.

I finish lacing the sneakers when there’s a soft knock. “Come in,” I say, because I have never had rooms that keep people out anyway.

Adam opens the door and smiles shyly at me. “Hey. How are you?”

I stand and stretch my arms over my head, my stitches pulling and itching in my arm. I want to get them out. “I’ll be good.”