Miles Ever After (Miles High Series)(8)

I close my eyes; the truth is, I really don’t think I can.

I’m letting her down.

“I don’t know how to stop my mind,” I whisper.

“Then you learn,” Chakrii says. “You take it minute by minute, hour by hour.”

I stare at him as I listen.

“And then one day, something will let go.”

My sanity?

“Like what?” I ask.

“The pressure of expectation,” Chakrii replies.

I frown, it’s like he’s reading my mind.

“You are not the first corporate highflier we have had here; you will not be the last. The ones that leave early….” His voice trails off.

“What?” Emily asks. “What happens to the ones that leave early?”

“Some return, sometimes years later when they realize the truth.”

“What truth?” Emily asks.

“That there is no easy way, you have to push through the barriers that your thoughts have created for you.” He smiles wistfully. “To be able to control your mind is the greatest strength that one can have.”

Isn’t that the truth.

“So you need to make a decision, Jameson, right now. Are you going to go through life wondering what could have been?”

Emily takes my hand in hers and kisses my fingertips.

“Or are you going to tough it out and stay?” He pauses as if choosing his words wisely. “Twenty-one days could change the whole trajectory of your life, do you want to feel free?”

I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders…because it is. It feels like it always has been. My life is a gift, one that I want more than anything.

Without a word, I walk inside and go into the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I take a long hard look at myself and my eyes well with tears because I don’t like what I see.

I know I have to do this.

Emily walks into the bathroom and puts her arms around me from behind and kisses my shoulder. She doesn’t say anything, she just holds me while I have my meltdown.

A knock sounds at the door. “Jameson,” a voice calls.

“Yes?”

“It’s Jarden, I’m here for your stretch class.”

What’s it going to be, sink or swim?

Swim.

“I’ll be right out.”





Emily


I sit on the front porch of our bungalow and read through the notes in my diary, I’ve been keeping a score of what goes down in here and I have to say, it’s been very satisfying to go back and read through it day by day.

We are making progress, and on the days where I felt we have gone backward, I’ve returned to the diary to recap and remind myself of where we were at the beginning.

Day one, a total disaster.

Day two, Jameson paced for hours. I think he’s losing his mind.

Day three, Jameson had a meltdown and thankfully decided to stay.

Day seven, Jameson actually closed his eyes during meditation. I think we could be onto something here.

Day eight, he had a major meltdown, he wanted to leave and find a restaurant because he needed to eat a steak.

Day ten, he stopped pacing and for the first time since I’ve known Jay, he is calm and present.

Day thirteen and fourteen, he slept for two days straight, Master Chakrii says this is a breakthrough and that his body is releasing the last of his stored adrenaline. To be honest it’s kind of scary for me to see him like this, Jameson never sleeps so for him to do it for two full days and nights is unsettling.

Day fifteen, we laughed all day and then made love under the stars on the beach.





Day by day and little by little, I can feel Jameson purging old beliefs, breaking destructive habits. Reacting to the Chinese medicine and discovering a new sense of self.

I begin to write my next entry.

Day eighteen.





I glance up from my diary to see my man sitting up on the cliff on the rock ledge, staring out to sea.

Cross-legged and pensive, he’s been up there for hours, alone and just being in the moment with nature.

He’s not complaining or whining or being a sarcastic asshole to anyone.

I smile softly, I’ve never loved him more.





Day twenty-one.


My back arching off the bed wakes me from a deep sleep and instantly I know where I am.

In bed, on my back with my legs over my Jameson’s shoulders, his fingers spreading me wide, his tongue licking me deep, he’s sucking and nibbling and my back arches again, oh fuck, I’m about to come.

How long has he been doing this?

I moan as my fingers twist in his hair. “Oh god,” I whimper as I spread my legs wider.

He smiles into me. “Good morning, Mrs. Miles.”

“It sure is.”

Seriously, how is this my life?

He licks me deeper and I begin to shudder. “Stop,” he commands as he slides up my body, bringing my legs over his shoulders.

We fall silent as we stare at each other, the air buzzing with deep arousal.

When he has me in this position I am completely at his mercy, my body is his for the taking. To fuck and use however he wants.

He knows it and he loves it.

And so do I.