Midnight in Everwood(22)
Marietta entered like an ice storm. ‘May I speak with you a moment, Mother?’
Ida turned the page. ‘Yes, dear. What troubles you this fair morning?’
Marietta selected the chair opposite her mother. ‘I have come to seek your counsel. By chance, I have overheard a matter which concerns me deeply.’
‘It isn’t becoming to listen at doors.’
Marietta waited. She rearranged the folds of her periwinkle tea gown, trimmed with cobalt satin ribbon and yoke frill.
Ida set her magazine aside. ‘I suppose the harm has already been committed. What have you unwittingly discovered?’
‘I have reason to believe that Dr Drosselmeier is seeking Father’s permission in—’
Ida pressed a hand to her chest, cosseted in an embroidered garnet tea gown. A soft gasp fluttered from her. ‘Do my ears deceive me? Could the good Dr Drosselmeier possibly be petitioning your father for your hand in marriage?’
‘I believe that to be the case.’
Ida’s cheeks bloomed with pleasure. ‘Oh Marietta, darling, what a fortuitous twist of events. Indeed, the fates have smiled down on us this morn. It seems we shall have a wedding to make preparations for.’
For a second, Marietta wished she had been built to a different model. Most women seemed to delight in engaging in discussions of weddings and children. What did it suggest about her that this was not her desire; was she lacking some intrinsic part of what it meant to be a woman? Was she broken, destined to either submit to a life that bent against the wild winds of her own ambition, or to be cast out adrift and alone?
Marietta spoke her next words quietly, knowing the instant they had tipped from her tongue, Ida’s smile would sour. It had been some time since she had seen her mother display such genuineness. ‘I do not wish to marry him, Mother.’
Ida’s brows drew together in the vaguest semblance of a frown. Once, she had smiled freely, only frowning whenever life conspired to displease her. Once, her emotions had tumbled across her face with abandon. That was before the fine lines had started their creep over her features. They dug in like sharp-fingered goblins and gnawed at her youthfulness, encouraging Ida to close her face off to the world. Witnessing this, Marietta felt she almost understood the lengths Countess Báthory had resorted to in her battle for youth. As reading the Aeneid would have her believe, the descent to the underworld was easy.
‘I possess no desire to marry Drosselmeier,’ Marietta repeated. ‘I confess I am not enamoured with the man and to spend a lifetime with him would be unthinkable for me.’
‘Darling.’ Ida reached for Marietta’s hands, holding them in her own. It brought a lump to Marietta’s throat as the days when she had been dressed as a doll and paraded about Nottingham, hand in hand with her mother, came to life. Ida’s blue eyes shone as if she too was remembering those days. ‘There is no need to be frightened, Marietta. I understand your reservations but, remember, women do not marry for love. I certainly did not. And yet I have had many happy years with your father and taken great pride in being a dutiful wife.’
The lump in Marietta’s throat swelled. ‘Did you ever wish you had chosen differently? Been free to choose who your heart dictated?’
‘I did not,’ Ida said firmly. ‘Your father was the best prospect and I did what was expected of me. Besides, romantic matches are oft an ill-fated affair.’ She softened. ‘Drosselmeier is a good and kind man and he will take considerable care of you. Of this I have no doubt. I have nurtured an inclination that he thought affectionately towards you since that very first dinner when we made his acquaintance and I am certain that you shall make a most charming bride for him. Perhaps a summer wedding so that we might sail to the continent this spring. I believe a wedding dress from Rue de la Paix is in order, and a trousseau of Italian silks, too …’ She retreated into her own daydreams, unaware of Marietta.
Marietta did not see the silks and laces that her mother dreamt of. She saw her pointe shoes packed away in a box, where they would languish until dust shrouded both her shoes and her delusions of freedom. Her sadness fractured, filling her with ragged ice. ‘You have failed to understand me,’ she said, the ice leaching into her words, turning them frozen and brittle. ‘I will refuse his hand. I do not trust Drosselmeier. There is something disconcerting about him and I no longer feel safe when I am in his presence.’
Ida’s laugh was light and musical. It suited the delicate freshness of her drawing room. ‘Do not be so innocent, darling; such is the way of men. They tend to assert an overbearing dominance over women; it reminds them of their ancestors who rode across the kingdom in armour, protectors of the land and all fair women who resided there. A trifle foolish, perhaps, but harmless enough. You shall soon become accustomed to it; there is no need for such dramatics. And once you are wed, I can teach you the ways in which you may shape their behaviour to your own benefit.’
Marietta released her mother’s hands. With such opinions Ida would never understand. Little wonder that Frederick could not be his honest self in her presence. She shuddered to think how her mother would react if she knew the true state of affairs between him and Geoffrey. ‘I think not. If you will not trust my word then has it not occurred to you that I may wish to pursue avenues other than marriage? My life ought to be mine to do with what I wish.’
Ida pinched the bridge of her nose with two delicate fingers. ‘Upon reflection, do you not find your behaviour deeply selfish?’ When she glanced at Marietta, the steel in her gaze was hard and unyielding. ‘Your father and I have provided everything you could have wished for since the day you were born. You are not free from obligation. You shall repay us and fulfil your debt to society by accepting Drosselmeier’s proposal, once offered. I shall not hear otherwise on the matter. I will forgive your words today as I understand the news was unexpected, but I anticipate after time to reflect you will come to your senses. This is the path you are on, Marietta. The next time we speak, I expect you to understand this and be graceful about your position in life.’ She stood up, smoothing down her dress and composure in one. ‘And when you marry, you shall wear a smile as lovely as your wedding dress.’