Method(72)

“I feel manipulated.”

“That was not my intention. Not at all. I’m sorry.”

Silence lingers as gravity hurdles me back to Earth and the car comes to a stop.

“Good night, Lucas.”

“Goddammit!” He slams his fist into the roof and brings furious eyes to mine. “You really going to do this? Really?”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“You know exactly what the hell I want from you,” his tone grows unbearably cold, “I’ve made it crystal clear.”

When I don’t respond, he clasps his hands in front of his mouth and exhales closing his eyes. “Okay. You’re gonna have to be the one that walks away from this, because it won’t be me.”

“Lucas, I—”

“It’s okay,” he says softly, shaking his head in disappointment before he averts his gaze.

Paul opens the door, and I take his hand, exiting the limo.

I’m at my door when the first of the tears fall and I press my head against it. “Fuck.” I don’t want to be without him, no matter how crazy his lifestyle is, no matter how scared I am. He’s just confessed his love and offered me a place with him. I’d always claimed safe was boring, and the first time I’m faced with something more, an unconventional way of living, especially with the man I’m madly in love with, I shy away. I let fear overrule my own convictions. I want him, and he wants me. And right then it seems so simple. I turn to try and catch sight of the limo and see Lucas standing at the edge of my porch watching me intently.

Elated, I take a step forward. “That was ballsy.”

“I told him to circle around and come back.” He slowly approaches before wiping the tears from my face with gentle thumbs. “At least now I know.”

I sniff. “Know what?”

“That you really do love me too.”

“I told you that.”

“Actions speak louder, right? I’m not wrong about you.”

“It’s just a lot to absorb.”

Cupping my face, he presses a gentle kiss to my lips and traces my jaw with his thumbs. “Do you know why I call you Dame?”

“It’s an old generalized term for a woman in show biz, kind of a Humphrey Bogart type term, right, like kid or broad?”

He nods, his fingers gliding along my back to the small of it where he strokes me softly. “That’s true, but it’s also the female equivalent of a knight.” He lifts one side of his mouth. “You told me yourself, you’re no princess.” He presses a kiss to my temple.

“I’m not.”

“No, you aren’t, although you are very much a pain in the ass.” I playfully slap his chest. “But you’re tough and pure of heart, you say what you mean, and it’s the sexiest thing about you,” he grins as he palms my ass, “well, one of the sexiest.”

“So, you think I’m a knight, huh?”

“You’re my knight. You saved me the minute you walked up to me in that black dress looking more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen.

I’ve never relied on anyone, Mila. Not for anything, not ever, because this life hasn’t given me much to count on. I can appreciate what a gift you are. I think you’re a reward for my patience. I’ve never had anyone there for me, not like this. I feel a sort of peace I’ve never had before.” Tears trail down my cheeks. “You changed my luck, Dame. And for the first time in my life, I feel like if I ever need rescuing, I’ll have somebody there to help save me.”

Any brick or mortar I have left surrounding my heart disintegrates with his confession. He gives me all his trust, and I take it, and in return, I give him mine. Because he is worth it. “I will, Lucas. If you ever need saving, I’ll be there. I promise.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “I’m counting on it.”





“The less someone knows about me, the better, because my intention is to play a variety of characters.”—Joaquin Phoenix





Mila





PRESENT


“Mila,” my mother says my name over the line like it’s a final warning rather than a greeting.

“Hey, Mom.”

“What do I have to do to get a call back from my daughter?”

“How about not putting me on the defensive within two seconds of speaking? That’s a start.”

“I’m irritated.”

“Yes, I can tell from the fire you’re breathing.”

“Such disrespect.”

“Sorry, Mom, I’m tired.”

“Yes, well, I was wanting to take you to an exhibit, but it’s passed.”

“I’m sorry, truly.” And I am. I’ve been neglecting time with my parents in the last few years to travel with Lucas, but it was always for good reason. This time I have left with them is precious, I realize that now more than ever and I’m determined not to waste it.

“I’ve been meaning to take you up on your dinner invite, but why don’t you come over instead, I’ll cook.”

We speak for a few minutes and make the arrangements. I can tell she’s still a little miffed when I end the call but am relieved when it’s over. I’ll have to answer to her at some point, but it doesn’t have to be today. I made sure to invite her at a time I know Lucas will be on set. With the way he’s been acting, I want to avoid a meeting of the two like the plague. Pulling into the driveway after a long day at the bistro, I close my eyes and recount the first time they came face-to-face.