Method(103)

“We were happy.”

“Yes, as a couple but you and I both know there’s more to life than that. Lucas isn’t just your husband or an actor. He’s probably finally looking up and realizing where he is in the map of his life, and he might not like it. Seems like he’s lost touch with himself through this career he’s starved for.”

“He’s never told me that.”

“Because he probably wasn’t in that frame of mind before Blake’s death. Death changes people, Mila. It can make you question everything. He’s probably terrified.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of where he is.”

“Why?”

“We get told our whole lives that these things A, B, and C are what we need to make ourselves happy but obtaining them and seeing them for what they are can be utterly terrifying. One of the things your father told me is that most parents have no idea how to deal with overachieving children when they reach this point because the parents themselves cannot relate. They’re still working toward their own goals, and some never get to the place Lucas is. That’s the crux of the crisis.”

It makes so much sense, it’s scary. And I hate the fact that my mother may have more insight than I do on my own husband.

If anything, the past three months have shown me I’m not the expert I thought I was and that hurt breaks the rest of my heart.

“What do I do?”

“You can’t do anything but wait, show your support, be there for him.”

“I’m so pissed off, Mom. So fucking angry he locked me out and didn’t share any of it with me. He broke promises.”

She harrumphs. “Show me a perfect man, and I’ll prove you a liar.”

“Dammit. Why did I have to marry an actor!”

“You married a man. A human man. You study the beauty and rarely notice the cracks, it’s easy to with a man as captivating as Lucas. He’ll point them out to you when he’s ready. And you could be the next one to weigh life out. And when that happens, you’ll need him.”

“I can’t forget this, Mom. I can’t forget how he shut me out.”

“But can you love him the same?”

“I love him more than I ever have.”

“That’s marriage. On the other side of this is a different future for Lucas and I’m happy for him. Some go through never questioning any part of their existence. I’ve never thought much of Lucas as far as being your equal, but he may just start giving you a run for your money. He’s showing you that what you’ve known isn’t all that he is. It’s kind of exciting.”

“And what if what he figures out doesn’t include me?”

“You grow together or apart, and both of you decide at any point in time.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“No Mila, that’s life.”





Mila



Slipping on my short white gloves, I check my appearance one last time. Thankful for the predictable LA weather, I use large sunglasses to cover up evidence of my lack of sleep. My lips are painted hot pink, but that’s the only hint of color I add to my ensemble. My dress is a vintage Hepburn that I’d picked out six months ago. Inside the fabric, I’m numb.

Lucas is still calling and texting but hasn’t been at my door in weeks. Some part of me recognizes that we may very well be over. My stomach rolls and I place my palm over it. “Hey, baby, Mommy could really use some help not throwing up today.”

Before I know what’s happening, I’m in tears at the edge of my bed, holding my abdomen. I can’t feel anything yet, but I feel everything. The knock on my door kicks me out of another pity party, and I answer it to see Paul.

“Hi,” I say, closing the door and locking it behind me.

“Good morning,” he says, leading the way to the car.

I pause at the steps, staring into the limousine, and Paul glances back at me reading my hesitation. “He’s not in there.”

It would have been the perfect time for him to trap me, but he didn’t. “Okay, let’s go.”

Once inside the limo, I clasp my hands in my lap and try my best not to ask the questions burning on my tongue, but I do.

“How is he?”

Paul’s chocolate-brown eyes meet mine in the rearview, his expression grave. I nod.

“Is he still drinking?”

“Mila—”

“Fuck your NDA, Paul, answer the question. I know you care about him.”

“Yes, sometimes, he’s drinking. But he makes me drive him. He doesn’t leave the house much since the accident.”

“What accident?”

He shakes his head.

“Paul!”

“He crashed into a median a week ago, his Land Rover was the only thing that suffered.”

“Was he drunk?”

“I don’t know. It was early.”

“What are you doing, Lucas?” I whisper under my breath.

“It’s a bender,” Paul says simply. “Been there myself for the same reason.”

“With all your charm, I can’t see how any woman could ever leave you.”

He glares at me in the rearview, and I glare back before we both burst into laughter. When it subsides, I glance up to see something resembling a smile.