Mended (Connections, #3)(49)

He hovers over me and hesitates for a moment. He presses his forehead to mine, and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

“I want to feel you. Really feel you—like I used to.”

I stare at him, knowing what he wants but not sure he wants to hear what I have to say. “Xander, I’m on the pill, but I haven’t been tested since—”

Lifting himself up, he cuts me off. “I’m clean, Ivy.”

“Make love to me,” I answer, giving him the go-ahead not to wear a condom.

With a soft groan, he centers himself and heat floods me. His face smolders when he looks down at me, and I can feel my need for him all the way down to my toes. His teeth clench and he bites his lower lip as he slowly pushes into me. His cock—long, thick, and hard—fills me. Skin to skin—the feeling is magical, and both of our bodies tremble with the intimate contact. My arms circle his back and my fingers press hard into his muscles as we move together in the same rhythm.

I pull his mouth to mine and softly kiss him. Returning my kiss with the same tenderness, he pulls out of me and I search him for an answer as to why. My question is answered when he rolls onto his back, bringing me with him. Straddling him, I guide his cock back inside me and he lets out a guttural groan. My legs squeeze his body as I sit up and press my hands to his chest for support. His hands find my breasts, and he rolls and fondles the nipples into hard peaks. With his hands on me and his cock inside me, I just close my eyes as bliss washes through my veins.

When his fingers stop massaging my chest, I open my eyes and look into his face to see that it’s full of desire. I gasp when his hand slides between my legs and his thumb rubs circles around my clit. “Do you like this?” he asks.

Moaning, I arch my body and throw my head back. “Yes,” I scream, moving my hands behind me and clutching his knees. I want to wait for him, but the higher I lift myself off his cock and the harder I slam down on him, the more intense the feeling. When he rubs my clit harder and harder, moving his thumb in smaller and faster circles, my body starts to tremble and I can’t hold back any longer. “Oh God. Yes!” I scream, and everything in the world seems to stop except for this feeling of pure heaven.

“Fuck, Ivy, yes!” he yells.

I open my eyes as my orgasm rolls through me. Watching him, I know he’s coming too. His eyes close and with one final thrust I can feel him filling me. When he opens his eyes and looks at me with that look I could never resist—I melt.

“I love you.” The words just tumble out without any advance thought. I regret saying them immediately. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I shift my eyes away from him, knowing the words were automatic and true, but it’s too soon to actually say them. I roll away and throw my legs off the bed, but before my feet hit the floor his hands clutch my waist and his hard chest nestles against my back.

“Where are you going?”

Without turning toward him, I answer, “To the bathroom.”

“Not yet. Turn around, Ivy. Look at me.”

He sits down on the bed and pulls my legs off the floor and lifts me back on his lap. “Okay, now we’re going to do this again. You start by saying ‘I love you.’ But this time when you say it, keep looking at me and don’t turn away as soon as the words come out.”

“Xander, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know why I did.”

“Look at me, Ivy,” he commands, and I do. “You know why you said it—it’s because you feel the same way I do. Look, we could play the game—pretend we both didn’t feel what we felt the minute we saw each other at the pool, but I’d rather not. I loved you when I was fourteen. I loved you when I was eighteen and had to let you go. I’ve loved you for the last twelve years. And I love you now. Ivy—I love you.”

Hearing those words from his lips seems surreal. My stomach flutters and I throw my arms around his neck. “I love you, Xander. I love you,” I tell him, holding him and wanting to never let him go.

He holds me close and I don’t even question his words, not for a second. I don’t need to. I can feel it. I can hear it. I can see it. It’s written all over him—it’s even etched on his body. It’s real and right. It’s everything I’ve been missing and everything I want. He’s mine, and this time I’ll never let him go. We were always so much alike. We covered up our feelings, pushed them aside, wore a strong armor to face the world, but with each other we were bared—no shields, no masks—just what was real and what was true. And the emotions I’m feeling between us right now tell me that hasn’t changed—they tell me I’m home.

He swats my ass a few minutes later. “Now let me get up and get something to clean us up.”

I lean back and smile at him. He bends down and bites my lip. “Or come with me and we’ll take a shower.”

Tightening my grip, I let my body answer for me.

“Shower it is,” he says as he moves off the bed with my legs wrapped around his waist.

Thirty minutes later we’re lying in bed in the pitch-dark room. I’m spent, sated, and happier than I’ve been in such a long time. Pulling me to him, he hugs me like he used to—arms and legs wrapped around me, squeezing so tight.

“I love you, Ivy Taylor,” he whispers.

“I love you, Xander Wilde,” I whisper back. And then I close my eyes, feeling so full of raw emotion I could burst with happiness.