Maybe This Time(60)

His dad’s face was getting redder by the second. Was he going to blow a fuse?

“Andrew, you will shut your mouth right this instant,” he thundered.

I reached out for Gunnar’s hand but my hand only met air. I looked over to see that he was gone. “Where did Gunnar go?” I asked, looking all around.

“Actually, I won’t,” Andrew responded to his dad.

“My brother,” I said louder. “Did anyone see where he went?” A good crowd had formed around the spectacle, but everyone just shook their heads. My eyes met Micah’s. She was standing on the outskirts of the group, and she pointed to the maze.

“My brother went into the maze,” I said to Andrew.

“What?” His attention finally turned to me.

“My brother ran off to the maze. I need to go find him.”

“I’m coming with you,” Andrew said.

“You are doing nothing of the sort,” Jett said from behind us, but both of us were already running toward the maze entrance.

“You okay?” I asked Andrew as we ran.

“Not really,” Andrew responded, voice tight.

I heard footsteps behind us and turned to see Micah. “I’ll help,” she said.

I nodded at her. Neither of us mentioned the fight we’d had minutes before. It was obviously going to take more than a talk to fix the gulf that had opened up between us.

We reached the entrance to the maze and all barreled inside. We came to the end of the first stretch and the path split two ways.

“I’ll go right,” Micah said. “I’ll text you if I find him.”

Andrew and I turned left.

“Does this maze have any of those platform things that you can climb and try to orient yourself?” he asked, glancing around.

I pointed. In the middle of the maze, far from where we stood, was a wooden deck.

“Okay, we’ll try to make it there,” he said.

I nodded. My throat was too tight to speak.

“You know he’s going to be fine, right?” Andrew said. “He’s somewhere in here. And there are other people in here too. He’ll eventually find his way out.”

I nodded again, a million emotions swirling through me. We came to another split in the path.

“I’ll go left,” I said, and started to move.

Andrew grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, Sophie,” he said. “For how my dad treated you, and for what Micah said, and about what happened with your mom earlier. And that your little brother is probably really upset right now. I’m so sorry.”

It had been quite a night, I realized, when he spelled it all out like that. “It’s not your fault.” I felt suddenly numb. “I need to go find my brother.” I pushed him away. “I just need to go find my brother.” I stumbled away down the left path. Andrew didn’t follow, which I was happy about.

There was something about walking through a dark maze, surrounded by tall stalks of corn, all alone, that had my brain turning over everything I had ever said or done for the last … seventeen years. Was Micah right? Had I been prejudiced against everyone and everything in this town? Had it colored my relationship with my mother? Was wanting change, wanting a bigger life so wrong? My mom had applied for a scholarship for me and I’d gotten it. Would it be dumb not to at least consider it?

“It’s because she doesn’t believe you can succeed, Sophie,” I muttered to myself. I was sure I hadn’t colored that fact anything but the right shade.

I’d admit to one thing: I never really gave the guys around here a real chance. And Micah was right; it was because I knew I wanted to move on. As for the rest of the town, what little there was of it, I thought I always gave it a pretty fair shake. I’d been participating in every tradition and event for as long as I could remember. Sure, I was now being paid to do it, but that hadn’t always been the case.

I heard a noise around a corner up ahead.

“Gunnar?” I called out. The Carter boys rounded the bend and went running by me laughing. “Have y’all seen Gunnar?” I yelled after them. They didn’t answer.

I sighed and kept walking.

My brain wouldn’t shut off. Micah wasn’t perfect either. She’d obviously kept these feelings about me all bottled up for years without sharing them. She couldn’t hold my dad’s decisions against me. She couldn’t hold on to that so tight, as though it was hers to hold on to. She couldn’t feel worse about my dad than I did. I swiped at a tear that escaped from my eye. Micah and I were fighting. Fighting for real. And I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

I came to another fork and went left again. If I kept going left, would that take me in a big circle or just on a different path than Andrew?

“Gunnar!” I shouted again.

Silence.

My phone buzzed with a call and I picked it up without looking at the screen. “Did you find him?”

“What happened?” It was my mom.

“Gunnar ran into the maze alone because Jett yelled at him for knocking over the fryer.”

There was silence on the other end for so long that I pulled my phone away from my ear to check and see if we had been disconnected. She was still there.

“It was an accident, Mom. No need to get mad at him. I’ll find him and you can take him home.”