Master of Iron (Bladesmith #2)(56)

“You needed to prepare yourself?”

“Yes. Sometimes I have to calm myself down before a conversation.”

“Were we about to have a serious one?”

I can’t look him in the face, so I settle for just below it, at his strong neck. “I don’t know, but you know how I am. I get all worked up and have to talk myself off a ledge.”

“Then shouldn’t you have been relieved that I left? No scary talking?”

My eyes flit to the ground. “I should have. But I wasn’t.”

“No?”

I force my gaze to meet his. “No.”

“Tell me, why is it so different talking to me now than it was when we were traveling on the road together?”

“Because before it was a necessity to be together. Silences weren’t awkward”—not always anyway—“because you can’t possibly talk all day every day. But now, if there’s silence, it’s because I’m failing at the conversation.” I groan. “Does that make any sense at all?”

“Yes.” His fingers twitch, as though he wishes to reach out and touch me, but he holds himself back.

Does he … want to touch me?

I remember his words back in the woods, when he was likely concussed. He wants an equal partner. He doesn’t want to be the one to do everything. Instigate everything.

And I do want to hold his hand.

So even though it terrifies me, I reach out and brush his fingers before clasping his hand in mine. Kellyn’s brows jump up on his forehead, but he schools his features in the next moment.

“You really scared me,” I say. “You were delirious with fever on the road. I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”

I step up beside him, and we both walk wherever it was that Kellyn was headed before. My heart beats quicker than usual at our close proximity. I try to make myself relax.

“With you taking such good care of me?” he asks. “How could I not?” He gives my hand a gentle squeeze before threading our fingers together. Somehow it feels even more intense than simply having our palms pressed together.

I really do like touching him.

Kellyn seems to know exactly where he’s going, so I let him lead.

“How long was I asleep?” I ask.

“About twenty-six hours. I only just woke up in the middle of last night. Temra asked if I’d keep watch over you while she went to the training grounds. She’s practicing even harder than before with the news of Ravis on the way.”

She can practice all she likes, but I have no intention of letting her get anywhere near Ravis or his army.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“To find you some breakfast,” he says.

“Oh.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I’m not used to someone else taking care of me or thinking about what I might need.” I clamp my eyes shut and immediately backtrack. “Not that Temra doesn’t think about me. I meant someone else, other than my sister.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he says. “I owe you one for saving me from Ravis, but after this we’re even.”

I laugh, feeling some of the tension in me leave. “Finding me breakfast isn’t quite the same as me getting you out of a highly defended castle.”

“All right. You get two breakfasts; now stop being greedy.”

Kellyn pushes through wide double doors, and I smell fresh bread and melting butter. My mouth begins to water.

“I sniffed out the kitchen the second I awoke,” Kellyn says. “The cook loves us, so we can have free rein of this place whenever we want.”

A thin woman with her hair in braids on top of her head pulls a pan from the oven. She’s young, maybe mid-twenties, and she’s quite pretty.

Kellyn walks us right up to her. “Paulia, hello again!”

“Kellyn!” she says. Ignoring me, she throws her arms around him, and Kellyn lets go of my hand to return the gesture.

I feel myself frowning, my appetite leaving.

She asks after Kellyn’s arm, and he shows it to her. Though if Kellyn woke last night, how long ago could it have been since she last saw him? And why are they so chummy already?

Kellyn asks how her morning was, and they chat among themselves as though there’s no one else in the room. Normally, I adore being left out of conversations, because coming up with something to say is always a chore. But not now. Right now, I feel like blurting out anything just to keep this Paulia from looking at him. From touching him.

“I have someone I know you’re wanting to meet,” Kellyn says at last. He seems startled for a moment when he sees my expression, but he presses on. “This is Ziva.”

Paulia’s whole face lights up. She lets go of Kellyn’s shoulder and rushes at me. Her head only comes up to my chest, so the hug is a bit awkward, but she pulls away as though it was some gift. “I can’t thank you enough. You have given me my whole world back. You come by here anytime you want, and I will make you whatever you wish. What will you have this morning?”

I’m overcome by her generosity and sincerity, yet still battling the jealousy that’s trying to take over.

I look to Kellyn for help.

“Paulia is with Serutha,” he explains. “They’re engaged.”