Master of Iron (Bladesmith #2)(46)

“Well done,” he says right before he collapses.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN


I try to catch him on the way down, but I’m still holding Lady Killer, and I don’t drop the sword in time.

Kellyn groans with every breath he lets out. One hand on his head, the other at his arm.

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “You’re going to be okay. Just wait here a moment.”

As if he could go anywhere.

I try to track down the horses. These weren’t trained warhorses, and they spooked at the first sign of trouble. Kellyn’s mount is nowhere in sight, but I find my gelding grazing in a rich patch of grass about a hundred yards away.

When I bring him back to the blood-soaked clearing, I retrieve one of my waterskins and return to Kellyn. I clean the blood from his head and wrap it with an unsoiled shirt from one of the dead soldiers.

Kellyn snores lightly, and I flick his nose. “What!” he shrieks. Then he’s back to groaning.

“Stay awake.”

“Why?”

“You hit your head.”

“So?”

“So, when you hit your head, you’re supposed to stay awake.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! That’s just what they say.”

“I have to sleep eventually.”

“Will you stop being difficult? I need to figure out what to do about this arrow.”

The wound is deep, but it doesn’t quite poke out the other side of his arm. Do I push it the rest of the way through? I can’t pull it back out. The wound itself isn’t bleeding terribly, but there’s an arrow in there and that’s not good.

“Wake up!” I snap.

Kellyn jolts back to consciousness. “Ziva, I’m tired.”

“No. Stay awake. Help me figure out what to do with this arrow.”

“Leave it,” he hisses. “We don’t have anything to help get it out or to patch it up or…”

“Kellyn!”

“I’m awake!”

“Can you climb onto the horse?”

“I don’t know if I can sit up.”

He starts drifting off again, and I know that the arrow shaft is going to be a problem. It’s so long; it’ll bump up against things, causing him all kinds of pain.

If the blow to his head doesn’t kill him first.

Don’t think like that!

I place both hands on the arrow shaft, grip it as close to Kellyn’s skin as I can.

Then I snap it.

“TWIN HELLS! GAH!” Kellyn’s suddenly upright, shoving me away. I know he’s not in his right mind, on top of being in unimaginable pain, so I don’t take it personally.

I discard the broken piece of arrow, cover the wound as best I can above and below the shaft, then pull Kellyn to his feet. “Come on. On the horse. Then you can rest.”

I have to find a large rock for Kellyn to climb in order get him into the saddle. I come up behind him, and he sags against me. He’s a lot heavier when he’s all deadweight.

“Kellyn, talk to me.”

“You said I could rest,” he slurs.

“You can. You’re not moving. You still have to talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I want you to talk to me.”

The horse leaps over a smaller tree trunk, and Kellyn groans again.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask.

“I’m always the one instigating everything. When we talk. When we kiss. The flirting. All of it. At first, I did it because you’re shy, because I thought that’s maybe what you needed…” His words trail off.

“Kellyn!”

“But it’s not fair!” he shouts when he jerks awake again. “I want someone who wants me. I want someone who puts in an effort to be with me. A relationship takes two people, and they have to be equal partners. And no matter how badly I want you, I can’t make you want me. So I’m backing off, and if you want me, you have to try harder…”

He slumps into sleep again, and I’m so stunned by his words that I let him be for a moment.

Twins, that’s what he’s been doing. Acting normal. Not making a big deal out of the kiss. Not being extra flirty. He wants me to make an effort. He wants an equal partner in a relationship, and I don’t know if I can be that for him. I spend so much time alone, preferring it to anything else, even. I don’t know how to be what he needs. What he wants.

He’s not asking you to change who you are. He’s asking you to make an effort.

But what if that makes me uncomfortable? What if I say or do something awful to push him away for good? Doesn’t he realize I’m doing him a favor by letting him start things? I don’t want to start anything that he doesn’t want.

I tell myself that I don’t have to make any decisions now. Right now, I have to get Kellyn to the capital so Serutha can put him to rights. How far away are we now? Three weeks? A month?

How long can that arrow stay in there before more serious things happen?

“Kellyn,” I say.

“Hmm?” he asks sleepily.

“Just checking on you.” Though to be honest, I have no idea what I’m checking for. But as long as he’s coherent every time I wake him, he should be fine, right?