Lust (The Elite Seven #1)(40)

“I drank too much,” I confess.

“You blame yourself?”

He already knows the damn answer to that.

“We all blame me,” I correct.

He swipes at his face. Is he crying?

“It’s not your fault,” he rasps.

Liar.

“Denial. It was just easier to place the blame elsewhere. Losing Robbie was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face in my life.” He admits.

He’s never opened up like this before. I wish I would’ve heard it months ago.

“It was me.” He croaks.

My hands grip the counter, my knuckles turning white.

“What was you?”

Sniffling, he wipes his forearm across his nose. “I told Robbie to walk.” He breaks.

My head swims. I don’t understand. “When…how?” I shake my head. He’s making no sense.

“He wasn’t feeling good. Called me using his friend’s phone. I told him he had to wait for you, but when he said he felt queasy, I told him to walk down to my office.”

He tugs at his hair, punishing himself.

Tension stiffens my body.

“Why? Why couldn’t you get him?” I demand.

Sickness threatens to spill out of me from his confession.

He’s known this shit all this time and kept it too himself. He’s a selfish cunt. Poor Robbie, let down by us both.

My darkest day was losing Robbie, that darkness has been cloaking me ever since and he’s had this information this the whole time.

He’s staring at me now, chin quivering, water leaking from his eyes.

Fuck him.

“I was mid-fuck.” He confesses. “Melissa was leaving for a vacation, and I wanted to get one last fuck in before I didn’t see her for two weeks.”

The utensil holder in front of me flies across the room before I even register throwing it at him.

“You make me sick,” I growl.

My entire body threatens to collapse at the weight of his words.

It was his fault—not mine. I didn’t kill Robbie.

“And what if he made it to the office?”

“We were finishing up,” he confesses, disgust on his own tongue.

My mind replays that night over and over, the time it would take to walk twenty minutes maybe? Thirty for Robbie whose legs were shorter than mine.

“Did you wonder why he didn’t show up?” I seethe.

Gulping he takes back his seat and swigs whatever’s in his mug.

“Your mother.” He exhales before continuing, “She caught us.” He grumbles into his cup.

That night is the night she caught him fucking his secretary?

“That’s why she wanted you to pick Robbie up, she was casing my fucking office building like a PI.”

Rounding the counter with revived energy I push him hard making him stumble from the stool and stumble back across the kitchen.

Pointing a damning finger at him I growl. “Don’t fucking blame her or make a mockery of what she had to do to prove her own sanity wasn’t playing tricks on her. Everyone knew you were a piece of shit but not her, she always had your back. And you blew it. For that blonde piece of ass? Really, is she worth it?”

Turning on my heel, I can’t even look at him. Urges to pound the shit out of him until he’s pulp of blood and bone pull at my restraint, but he’s fucked my life up enough, he gets no more of it.

Walking into my room I feel like a different person. A burden heavy on my soul has lifted. “You ok?” Chastity asks from her perched position on my bed.

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Her lips turn up into a smile and she pats the space next to her.

“Can you stay the night?” I ask.

She bites her lip nervously, a blush coloring her cheeks. “Just sleep, Chas, please?”

“Ok. I’ll call my dad and tell him I’m crashing at Maggie’s.” She attempts to get up, but I hold my hand up to stop her.

“You stay and call him, I need to make a call of my own, I’ll go outside.”




All my demons race around inside my head as I wait for Pride to arrive. I text him as soon as I left my old man to weep in the misery he created. This couldn’t be done over the phone.

Ten minutes later he’s pulling up across the street. There’s a nervous energy pulsing through me with what I’m about to do, but I know it has to be done. There’s no other way.

“You look like shit,” he says, meeting me halfway down the path.

“Good to see you too, asshole.”

He nods his head at Chastity’s car and smirks.

“That the reason I’m here? You got something for me?”

Shoving my hand in my pocket, I close my eyes briefly before pulling out the coin.

“I do, but not what you think.” I place the gold metal into his palm and wait for the lecture that doesn’t come.

“It is what I expected. The tasks are not made for all of us, and to be honest, I’m not keen on a lot of this shit. Just know you can’t control or forfeit what comes next. If you do…”

“I’m out. I know.”

I just can’t lose anything else. As if reading my thoughts Pride places a hand on my shoulder. “Losing a sibling is fucking soul crushing, believe me I know, so if she helps you, even forget for a second, then I wouldn’t risk it all for a task either.”