Lucky Caller(63)

“I’m very interested in these names,” Lucas said.

“Well, lemme think, there’s Blondie, Sparkle Prince … Sexy Vampire … Champ, and, uh…” He snapped his fingers. “The Smolder.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” Lucas said. “Is it weird that I know exactly who’s who?”

Mr. Tucker grinned and then looked over at us. “This is your mystery guest? I thought—”

“Yes,” Joydeep said. “This was our plan all along. We definitely did that. One hundred percent intentionally.”





60.


WE HAD TO BREAK IT to Lucas that Existential Dead wasn’t coming, but he took it well, on account of the baffling fact that he was also a fan of Mr. Paint. And he agreed—lo and behold—to go on, just as long as he was interviewed alongside Dan, so he could ask him questions too.

“I want to know everything about Mr. Paint,” he said. “How did he get started? How does he pick the themes? Does he have sponsors?”

Dan returned as Lucas was chatting with us. He sidled up next to me with a dingy looking brown guitar case in one hand.

“Forgot my tour souvenir,” he said with a smile, and then noticed Chris and Lucas. “Hello again.”

“Hi.” Lucas extended a hand and introduced himself once more. It was a disarming habit for a famous person to have. “I can’t believe I’m meeting Mr. Paint. And that you toured with Existential Dead! That’s wild!”

“I did. Just briefly.”

Mr. Tucker, who had ducked out, returned now. “I think everything’s set to go out there. You guys ready?”

“I want to hear all about it,” Lucas told Dan, and then to Mr. Tucker: “Let’s do it.”

“Okay. We need our intros first,” Mr. Tucker said. “You all good to go?”

Joydeep turned to Sasha. “Ready?”

Sasha looked past him, to the sliver of audience we could see from the wings, and then took a few steps away from the group and gestured me over.

“What’s up?”

“I can’t go out there,” she said in a low voice.

“What? Why not?”

“I just. I can’t. I’ll ruin it.”

“Are you serious? You’re great at this.”

“I’m great at this when it’s the four of us alone in a room and I’m not looking at the faces of the people I’m talking to. But this? It’s too much. It’s the spotlight thing all over again. I’ll mess it up.”

“Sasha—”

Joydeep and Jamie joined us now. Joydeep had his list of questions in one hand, a mic in the other. Jamie had a second mic, and he held it out to Sasha, who regarded it like he was offering her a king cobra.

“What’s going on?” Joydeep said.

“I can’t go out there,” Sasha replied. “I’m sorry. You have to do it.”

Joydeep looked confused. “But you’re my co-host.”

“I can’t.” A pause. “You can do this, though. You don’t need me.”

“False,” he said.

“How are we doing, guys?” Mr. Tucker called.

“Almost ready!” I called back.

“Someone’s gotta go out there,” Jamie said.

“You’ve got this, Joydeep,” Sasha said.

Joydeep took a breath to steel himself, and then nodded. “Okay. Yeah, okay.” And with that, he headed out to do the introductions.

“My name is Joydeep Mitra from Sounds of the Nineties. I want to start by saying thanks to everyone for coming out. I’m excited to announce we have two very special guests here with us tonight.” There was a murmur through the auditorium, several excited squeals, a whoop from the back. “First up, is a local guy—a hometown hero, you might say—who is intimately acquainted with the insides of your mouths, owing to his job as a dentist.” A ripple of confusion went through the crowd. “But, he also has some inside knowledge of a little band called … Existential Dead.”

A cheer broke out from a portion of the audience, the kind that cheers for their favorite band name no matter the context.

“Please welcome Dan Hubler!”

The applause that followed was more … a smattering of perplexed clapping. Dan walked out onstage holding the guitar case. He nodded to Joydeep and then turned to acknowledge the crowd. Joydeep went on: “Dr. Hubler is going to tell us all about the time he spent touring with Existential Dead.”

Murmurs ran through the crowd again.

“Our second guest is from a band that you may be familiar with. They’re on the radio, much like myself.” Joydeep grinned in our direction, and then turned to the crowd. “Please welcome, from This Is Our Now, Lucas Kirk!”

There was a loud exclamation, one of mingled confusion and hope, but as soon as Lucas stepped onstage, earsplitting shrieks rent the auditorium.

I’d never heard anything like it. It was hard to tell if it was because the audience skewed that much more toward TION fans than Deadnoughts, or because their collective lung capacity was just that much more powerful.

Lucas crossed the stage to Joydeep, waved to the crowd, and then shook his hand and clapped him on the back like they were old friends. Then he, Joydeep, and Dan took a seat.