Love & Other Disasters(81)

They had also been drinking too much coffee and eating too little food these last few days.

It was possible this was affecting their mood.

After a few moments of silence, Julie continued.

“London, you know I don’t want you to leave Nashville. It would be lovely if Dahlia moved here. Seriously, I support it one hundred percent, if it’s her choice. I just feel like you two should have talked about this.”

“I tried to talk about it, I swear, but when I got to her room that night, after she was kicked off . . . she was just throwing stuff into a suitcase and . . . I don’t know, it was like she was a different person.”

“Well, yeah, London, she’d just been kicked off the show. She was probably freaking out.”

London stopped walking again, pinching their nose and taking a deep breath. They knew, suddenly, that they were going to cry, and they didn’t want to, and they hated this.

“I wish we had at least gotten closure. It was the worst, Julie.” London leaned their forehead against a pole, struggling to keep their voice even. “I . . . I don’t even know what I’m doing here anymore. I just want to go home.”

London heard Julie sniff. They almost laughed, knowing she had likely started crying the second she heard London’s voice warble. She felt other people’s emotions too easily.

“Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, Jules,” they said quickly, wanting to backtrack so Julie wouldn’t be sad. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not, you big jerk.” Julie sniffed again. “God, I hate that I’m not there. If I was there, I would have made you dumbasses talk about this long before Dahlia got kicked off, and everything would be fine.”

Now London did choke out a laugh.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, coming to Los Angeles without you.”

“You’re damn right,” Julie said.

“It was foolish.”

“It was also your idea.”

Julie scoffed. “We were drunk that night, London. I didn’t think when I dared you to get on the show that you would actually, like, do it.”

London smiled. “Sure you did.”

She sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, but back to the show. I know you’re upset about Dahlia, and I’m sure you miss home, but no more I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-here talk, okay? Or eh-I-probably-won’t-win bullshit. You’re in the top three, London. I’ve watched you cook since we were babies, practically. I know how much you deserve this.”

London stood back up and walked through another crosswalk, taking a steadying breath. They felt uneasy about the idea of deserving anything. Dahlia had deserved $100,000. So did Cath. So did anyone, really, who worked hard and tried to be a decent person.

“If you say so,” they said.

“I do say so. I believe you can win this more than I’ve ever believed anything in my life. And hey, if you get into the finale, they invite families to come watch, right?”

They did.

They invited back former contestants, too.

But Dahlia probably wouldn’t come. Probably.

Not that London had even made it into the finale yet.

They definitely weren’t thinking about this.

“So hopefully, I’ll be out there in less than a week to help cheer you on. I’ve already told work I might be taking a few days off.”

London’s whole body sagged in relief at the idea of seeing their sister again. Whether they got to the finale or not, they’d get to see her again soon.

“It’ll be so good to see you, Julie. I’m glad you believe in me. It means a lot.”

“Oh my god, you are positively sappy over there. The West Coast does make you soft.”

“To be fair, I am extremely exhausted and haven’t been eating properly. My brain likely isn’t functioning right.”

“You haven’t been eating properly ?” Julie’s voice quickly escalated to a screech. “London, you know you are on a cooking show, right? God, you really do need me out there.”

London smiled and rubbed their eyes again. It was especially hot today, and their binder was irritating them. They were calling a Lyft as soon as they hung up with Julie. They’d watch a movie while the caffeine wore off, and then maybe take a nap.

“And hey, London?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t give up on Dahlia, okay? Because . . . you shouldn’t give up on yourself, either. And I worry that’s what you’re doing. Sometimes people make mistakes, especially when they’re stressed. But . . . not everyone is like Dad, you know? Most people own up to their mistakes if you give them some time.”

London stopped walking. They stared up at the wide, high branches of a palm tree, wondering if they should make Julie expand on that Dad comment.

“Okay,” they said after a minute.

“I have a meeting in ten minutes, so I should go. But please, call or text me as much as you need to get through the next few days, okay? I love you.”

“Yeah, okay. I love you, too.”

London requested a ride and stuck their phone in their back pocket. They kept staring at the palm tree while they waited, remembering how much Dahlia had liked them. Wondering if things would’ve been okay between them if they had talked about what was going to happen post–Chef’s Special like Julie said.