Love Me (WITSEC #3)(3)
I didn’t yank free from his grasp. Instead, I leveled my gaze with his. “Get your hand off me.”
His grip tightened. “Where is she?”
Out of respect for Shi, I hadn’t choked him out. However, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t defend myself. I brought the elbow of my free arm down on his arm, forcing him to release me.
Logan fisted my shirt next. I threw my arm over his and clamped his wrist between my inner, upper arm and ribs. Twisting to the side, I hyperextended his arm. With his free hand, he threw a punch, but I blocked it.
“You got skill,” he forced out as he managed to get his arm free. “I’ll make you a deal.” He took a step back, rolling his shoulder. “Let’s spar right now. If you can beat me, she can stay.”
“Keelan,” Knox said. His tone was a warning: don’t even humor Logan if I wasn’t confident I could win.
From the short interactions I’d had with him, I could tell he wouldn’t fight fair. I couldn’t really hold that against him because we’d both be fighting for Shi.
I widened my stance. “Deal.”
Right as the word left my mouth, Logan lunged for me.
1
Time slowed down when your world—your soul—was shaken, fractured, or destroyed. You felt every painful heartbeat pound in your chest. Every breath took thought. It was not living when time slowed. It was surviving. And then there was the aftermath, when time sped back up again and you looked around at everything continuing on like normal, but you stood there watching it like an outsider. How do you deal with being forever changed?
Keelan was hurt and my time had slowed.
The guys had come to my rescue after my uncle had drugged me. A part of me didn’t want to believe it. Another part of me wondered why I was surprised. I’d known things could escalate to that. It was why I had grabbed my gun after Logan had found out the guys knew the truth about me. Logan’s desperation to keep me safe made him go to any lengths necessary. To him, the end justified the means.
Creed was currently driving Colt and me to the hospital. Eyes focused on the road, Creed calmly started to explain what had happened after Colt had raced away with me to their cabin in the mountains. “Keelan and your uncle fought.”
Colt let out a curse.
The memory of Keelan restraining Logan on the ground in a choke hold so I could escape through my bedroom window popped into my head.
“How badly is Keelan hurt?” I was surprised at how controlled my voice sounded, because on the inside was utter chaos. The panic alone made me feel like I was moments away from jumping out of my skin.
Creed glanced at me through the rearview mirror. “He’s all right. He has a mild concussion and he dislocated his shoulder.”
Logan had hurt him because of me.
Maybe I should have just let him take me.
Maybe this was the universe’s way of reminding me that those I cared about always got hurt.
My brow scrunched up and my eyes began to burn, but I refused to let myself cry.
Colt reached back for me from where he sat in the front passenger’s seat.
I stared down at the hand he held out. I didn’t deserve him or his comfort. His brother was hurt. The last thing he needed to worry about was comforting me.
“I’m fine,” I said, fisting my hand in my lap so I wouldn’t be tempted to take the comfort Colt offered. I glanced out the window and tried to distract myself with the lush green forest passing by as we made our way down the mountain. It was amazing how different it was up here compared to the bottom, where the city was. I wondered how noticeable the change from forest to desert would be. As we got closer to the bottom, would the trees begin to turn yellow? Or would it be like the Pacific Ocean meeting the Atlantic? A wall of rich green pine trees would draw a line in the earth, identifying the end of the forest, and from that point on there would be saguaro cacti and tumbleweeds.
The sound of a click pulled my attention back into the car and I looked forward just as Colt was crawling over the center console between the driver’s and passenger’s seats. “Colt! We’re driving,” I admonished as he sat in the backseat next to me.
“Don’t do this again.” His tone was pleading as he gently cupped my face with his hands. I gripped his wrists, trying to pull away. Refusing to let me go, his grip tightened. “I’m serious, babe. Don’t shut us out again.”
“I’m not shutting you out.”
His eyes, which were a beautiful mixture of green and blue, bored into mine. “I can see the guilt all over your face. It’s making you punish yourself. You must stop doing that. What happened is not your fault.”
“Isn’t it, though? Keelan wouldn’t be hurt right now if it weren’t for me.”
“No.” His tone was firm like steel. “Keelan fought for you because you matter. Because you’re ours and we protect what's ours.”
What I wouldn’t give to just swoon at those words. To be able to feel anything other than the crushing guilt in my chest. “Everyone I care about gets hurt.”
“Damnit, Shi! Stop thinking like that,” Creed snapped from the front.
“How?” I snapped back. “How do I do that? Maybe I’m being ridiculous, but it’s hard not to think this way when I’m the common denominator. My parents and sister are dead because Mr. X wanted me. Logan hurt Keelan because I called Keelan for help. I’m the problem. My conscience is screaming at me that I am, and I should have let Logan take me, but I’m selfish. I’m selfish because I can’t bring myself to let any of you go.”