Love Beyond Reason(51)
"Jace, please—"
"Oh, no, Miss Katherine. You want to know what we Mannings are all about, and I don't want to disappoint you." He released her arms and turned away abruptly. He stuffed his hands deep into his jeans pockets and paced the floor as he continued.
"Naturally, he was the apple of my parents' eyes. He was the heir apparent; I was superfluous, a fact I was constantly reminded of. As a boy I sometimes wondered why I wasn't showered with such indiscriminate love and devotion. I resented their preference for Peter when I was a kid, but I'm glad about it now. I would have become just like him. You see, they loved him, but they loved in the wrong way. They were too ignorant to see that. It took me years to figure that out. Years of too much booze and rowdy brawls and wasted energies feeding reckless adventures. One day it occurred to me that if I were going to be a decent human being, I'd have to do it on my own. I was determined that they wouldn't ruin my life."
Katherine covered her mouth with a shaking hand to keep from crying out. If she could have taken back some of the hurtful words she had said, she would. But it was impossible.
Jace wasn't speaking to her now. He was analyzing things in his mind as he articulated them.
"I grieved for poor Mary. I know she must have felt like Daniel in the lion's den. I guess it was time for Peter to marry. Good for the banker's image and all that crap. But I couldn't figure out why Peter would marry someone like her, and why my parents would allow such a match. Then it occurred to me. If he had married one of the set, at his first indiscretion, that woman would have run home screaming to Daddy, or worse, the press, and Peter would have been faced with a big scandal. But sweet, naive, little Mary, an orphan with only an older sister to watch out for her wouldn't make such a scene. She would stoically suffer the slings and arrows, so to speak."
He stopped pacing and drew a deep breath. He stared at Katherine for a long time, his eyes straining to focus through his fatigue.
"Jace, I'm—"
He held up both hands, palms out as if warding her off. "Please, Katherine, I don't want to hear anymore. I'm tired." He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them hard with his middle finger and thumb. "I think you've said what you had to say, and I've responded. Let's leave it at that."
He leaned down to retrieve the keys to the jeep lying on the coffee table and started toward the door.
"Where are you going?" she asked timidly.
"To work. I was going to take the day off, but under the circumstan- ces..." He allowed his voice to trail off as he shrugged.
When he reached the front door he turned around and faced her. "You're right, Katherine. Feeling as you do, I think it would be best for all of us if we called a halt to this ... 'travesty we call a marriage.' Was that an accurate quote?"
Katherine's heart shattered into a million pieces, each shard splintering her soul.
"And if that's the case," he continued in that flat, unemotional voice, "one of us will have to give up Allison."
Katherine put a clenched fist over her aching chest and her mouth formed a small O. "W-what do you mean?" she asked tremulously.
He stared at her from squinting eyes, his mouth a firm, hard line. "You're so smart, you have all the answers, so you figure it out. Just remember how vicious we Mannings can be when anyone stands in our way."
The door slammed behind him.
* * *
Katherine moved through the next few hours like an automaton, feeding Allison and attending to her own needs like one drugged. She clasped the baby to her and wept. She didn't fear Jace would carry out his last veiled threat, but she despaired over her thwarted love for him.
It was hopeless. She had wounded him too deeply for him ever to forgive her the suspicions she had harbored against him. She may have been wrong about his motivations, his values, his character, but one thing she did know – he was proud. That pride would keep him from ever coming back and trying to reestablish the tenuous relationship they had had before.
Pride and Lacey.
Katherine was vaguely aware of the wall of the fire engine sirens but was too absorbed in her own wretchedness to notice how many were screaming through the streets on their way out of Van Buren.
It wasn't until she heard someone thumping up the stairs that she was jarred out of her lethargy. Could it be Jace? Her heart skipped a beat, but then plunged back into gloom. She recognized the heavy footsteps to be Happy's. But the large woman was certainly moving quickly.
Katherine met her at the door.
"Katherine, poor dear. Don't get upset until we know what's happened." Happy's lower lip was quivering. Her laughing eyes were clouded with anxiety.
"What are you talking about?" Katherine asked dazedly, but a premonition of disaster was creeping up her spine and she shivered. Memories of the night Peter and Mary died flashed through her mind like a slide show.
"Dear, didn't you even hear the fire trucks?"
"Yes, but—"
"It's the oil well, Katherine. There was an explosion."
"My God!" Katherine screamed, then hurriedly covered her mouth in an effort to stem the hysterical screams she could feel bubbling into her throat.
"Now, we don't know all the details—"
"Can you keep Allison?" Katherine was already hurrying toward the bedroom to grab her purse and shove her feet into a pair of loafers.