Lord of Embers(The Demon Queen Trials #2)(46)

“Yes,” he whispered in my ear.

I jumped at the unexpected closeness and turned to look at him. His eyes were deep wells of darkness and pain.

My heart slammed against my ribs.

He flickered away into darkness, but his voice rumbled out of the shadows. “You must fight for the crown.”

My fingers tightened on my flagon. Right now, I felt unsteady on my feet, unsure if this was all a strange dream. “Can you tell me what I am? And why there’s more than one Lightbringer?”

“You are Mortana’s ka.” His voice came from inside my own mind.

“What is a ka?”

A dark, throbbing sound pounded from the ground beneath my feet.

“An essence. A spirit. A ka lives in a person’s body, then separates at death. The ka is a double, and it travels to the double world.” He was standing behind me again, coldness radiating over me. “A ka lives on

forever. You were here, once. Mortana’s double in the world of death.”

Fear slid around me, ice-cold. My teeth chattered uncontrollably.

“Orion said he didn’t think demons had souls.”

“That’s because he feels like he died a long time ago.”

“So I’m Mortana?”

“No. Mortana once knew a spell for forgetting. She came here to these woods to conduct it.” His voice echoed off the rocks and trees. “She removed her ren—her true name. It’s the part of the soul that contained her memories. But in the process, she removed her ka, her life spirit, and

her akh, her intelligence. She became an empty vessel, wandering through the forest mindlessly until the mortals captured her and killed her. After they hanged her, they soon forgot she existed at all.”

That was what I’d seen in the vision, then. Mortana’s death—here.

“And where do I come from?”

“Her ka remained—her double. With my help, your parents brought

you into the world of the living as a new person, with a new akh and

ren. As Mortana’s double, you are destined to rule as well.”

I sucked in a deep breath. “If I have her essential spirit, wouldn’t I be evil, too?”

He appeared before me, the shadows lapping at the air around him.

“No one is born evil. Your mother raised you with love. Mortana was raised in the court of the mad King Azriel, separated from your parents.

She grew up in a poisoned garden, twisted and sadistic.”

I felt the air leave my lungs as I tried to wrap my head around it.

The world seemed to tilt beneath my feet. “Why? Why are you doing all of this?”

“Chaos.” The words echoed around the grove, and I heard the flutter of wings and rustling leaves as birds took flight from the trees. “Lucifer, my twin, marked one to rule—Mortana. But Lucifer is a god of order and light. I am the god of chaos and shadows, the Night Bringer.” He shimmered in and out of view. “The universe was made from chaos, and to chaos it will return. Order is as ephemeral as ashes scattered on the wind. It is not the natural state.”

I breathed in deeply. “So you wanted a competition for the throne to make things interesting? And you want me to have a fighting chance against Orion.”

“Yes.” He was standing before me once more, shining in the dark grove. His body was enormous, towering over me. His coppery skin looked as solid as marble.

“Orion is the Lord of Chaos.” I thought of Tammuz’s reaction when Orion mentioned his father. “Orion’s mother knew you. Any chance Orion is your son?”

“Yes,” he hissed, “and the name he gave you is not his real one. He hardly remembers who he is.”

My breath caught. “Why is he so convinced he was Nergal’s son?”

“Because of the star he bears, marking him as heir to the throne. But Nergal had no children, no natural heir. Orion is a Lightbringer because I chose him as one.” Runes of light slashed the air around him.

“Rowan,” he boomed, “ask what you came here to ask.”

My throat tightened. “If you want me to have a fighting chance at the throne, I need your help. Orion is right—I can’t fight like he can. I don’t connect to my demon side, and I still feel like a mortal. Can you help me?”

A subtle smile played about his lips. “Welcome home, ka.”





C H A P T E R 2 5 — R O W A N

T ammuz turned and started walking away from me into the dark. “You fear death. That is your weakness.”

I stared at him. “Everyone is afraid of death. It’s a basic part of human evolu—” I stopped myself. “Right. I’m not human.

Surely demons fear death, too. It seems like an important part of staying alive.”

He turned to face me again. “The Lord of Chaos does not. If anything, he envies the dead. But you are soft, Rowan. You are weak.

You will fail.”

My throat tightened. “Okay. I need to be less afraid of death.”

Ru d e.

I closed my eyes. “But there’s the fear of pain—”

“Why fear something that is over so quickly?”

“And then there’s the fear of what comes after. Do I end up here?

Do I just stop existing?”