Looking for Jane (58)

“Miss?”

Oh for God’s sake.

“Yes?” Her voice is croaky and quite unlike her own. But maybe that’s a good thing.

The officer is clearly uncomfortable. “Can you tell me what you’re doing here this evening?”

Nancy opens her eyes and looks up into the man’s face. Beefy, square-jawed, with a healthy layer of stubble around his chin and neck. He’s been on duty since this morning. He’s probably tired and wants to go home to his wife. But instead, he’s here, trying to prevent her from getting a safe abortion. From starting over. Nancy feels a burst of rage she’s never experienced before. Hot and sharp, frightening yet tantalizing. A razor’s edge.

Fuck this guy.

“I’m half naked and barely covered in a paper sheet on a doctor’s exam table, and before you walked in, my feet were up in stirrups. What do you think I’m doing here? I got offered tickets to the Leafs game tonight. Trust me: I’d rather be at the Gardens stuffing my face with popcorn and shitty beer instead of getting myself cranked open with a car jack for a PAP test.”

She can hardly believe the words came out of her mouth. She instantly regrets it and pinches her lips shut, her cheeks burning. Dr. Taylor. Prison. The script.

Officer Pernith fidgets with the notebook in his hands, and the eyes that meet Nancy’s have more depth than she ever could have imagined.

“You know what, miss? I’d rather be at a hockey game, too. We’ll be done here shortly. I apologize for the interruption. Just carrying out orders, you know. Good for you for getting this… test. My daughter needed one last year,” he adds quietly. “I know it isn’t pleasant, however necessary it might be.”

Nancy’s insides clench. Alice’s hand flinches over hers.

“You ladies have a good night,” Officer Pernith says.

Alice manages a weak thank-you.

Pernith waits by the door to the exam room while the other officers finish their half-hearted inspection. Finally, they take their leave and Dr. Taylor escorts them out. Nancy hears three locks slide into place at the front door, and a moment later Dr. Taylor reappears in the exam room.

She lets her breath out slowly, her mouth forming a small O. “Well, Nancy. You didn’t exactly stick to the script.”

“I’m so sorry, Dr. Taylor, I have no idea what—”

Dr. Taylor and Alice burst out laughing.

“It’s okay, Nancy. It’s more than okay,” Dr. Taylor says, smiling. “We’re frankly just impressed. That was some serious attitude.”

“Amazing, Nancy,” Alice adds, walking over to the sink. She reaches into her bra and produces a key like a magician. She unlocks the small bottom drawer of a filing cabinet and digs out a stack of papers. “They barely even checked the cupboards. I was worried they’d make me open it.”

“I honestly don’t know what came over me,” Nancy says. “I just got so angry. Why do they care?”

“Because they would rather women die in alleyways, hemorrhaging with coat hangers sticking out from between their thighs,” Alice says, her eyes flashing.

Dr. Taylor sighs, settles herself back down at Nancy’s feet. “Let me just check on one more thing, okay, Nancy?”

A minute later, Dr. Taylor gives Nancy the okay to sit up.

“Everything looks good. Alice will give you some thick pads and instructions to prevent an infection. Make sure you take all the antibiotics until they’re finished and follow all the instructions. If you do get an infection, call me right away. Do not go to the hospital, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I don’t want to scare you. Infections are very rare if the procedure is done properly and you take all the antibiotics. Avoid heavy exercise and sex for a while.”

Nancy scoffs. “Yeah, that won’t be a problem.”

“But if something does happen,” Dr. Taylor continues, “call me and Alice. The hospital will ask questions you won’t be able to lie away, and then they’ll call the police.”

“I know they will,” Nancy says. “I went with my cousin to some freak abortionist a couple of years ago. He nearly killed her. I had to drag her to the hospital afterward, she was bleeding so much.”

“Jesus Christ.” Dr. Taylor shakes her head. “This is why we do what we do.”

“They asked me all kinds of questions at the hospital, and then one of the ER doctors told me if this ever happened again, I should call around to doctors’ offices and ask for Jane. I had no idea what she meant, at the time. But I remembered it. That’s how I found you.”

“That’s good for us to know, actually,” Alice says. “Which hospital was that?”

“St. Joe’s.” Nancy sits up slowly, reaching out for Dr. Taylor’s proffered hand. She winces. “It hurts.”

“I know. It will for a couple of days; you can take over-the-counter painkillers. Drink plenty of water and try to get some sleep tonight. It can be difficult for a while. Emotionally, I mean. Your hormones will all be resetting once your body realizes it isn’t pregnant anymore, and it can be a bit of a wild ride. Do you have a friend you can talk to about this?”

“Not really.”

“A roommate at home? A sister?”

“My roommates, yeah. I’m pretty close with one of them. I think she might have suspected what was going on with me, anyway.”