Long Shadows (Amos Decker, #7)(21)

“No! That’s what they said, but Mommy would never, ever go away without saying goodbye to me. She loves me. You’re lying to me and you never lie.” She began to cry.

Decker thought about the words Earl had suggested he use but he knew that Sandy would see right through that and things would only get worse. She might have mental disabilities, but in some ways she was far sharper than he was. And this was one of those ways because it dealt right with the heart.

“Sandy, will you listen to me?”

“Not if you say Mommy went away, I won’t,” she said in a choked voice.

“Do you…” Decker could barely believe he was about to say this, but he could think of nothing else. He didn’t want to fail Sandy, as he had her mother. “Do you remember my daughter, Molly? You two played together.”

Sandy’s tone instantly brightened. “Sure, I remember Molly. She was very nice to me.”

“And then you remember that Molly went away one day, right?”

“R-right.”

“I didn’t want her to go away, but she had to because, well, it wasn’t her choice. She didn’t want to leave me, but something made her.”

“Mommy said something happened to her. That someone hurt her.”

“That’s right. Someone hurt my daughter and she had to go away, Sandy.”

Andrews caught White’s eye. He looked distraught and shaken. She shook her head and put a finger to her lips.

“And so did Molly’s mommy,” said Sandy. “I remember.”

“Yes, Molly’s mommy, too, they both went away at the same time. Someone made them go, they didn’t want to.”

“Did they say goodbye?”

“Sandy, close your eyes.”

“What, why?”

“Just close your eyes, please, it’s important.”

“Okay.”

“Are they closed?” asked Decker.

“Yes.”

“Now, think of your mom. What is she doing?”

“She’s smiling at me. She always smiles at me.”

“That’s right. Every time she talked to me about you, she was smiling. Because your mom loved you more than anything, just like I loved my daughter.”

On this, White made a fist and pushed it against her mouth. Her eyes were closed, but some tears trickled out.

“Do you see Molly when you close your eyes?” Sandy asked.

“Yes, I do, all the time. I see her mommy, too. And I think that’s why they, and your mom, never said goodbye. Because when you say goodbye like that, it means they won’t see us again. But they will. You see her right now. And I’m closing my eyes and there are Molly and her mom. I see them right now and they’re smiling at me. So, no goodbyes. They’re always there, Sandy. We just have to close our eyes and say hello and then they come to us. They’re right there, with us. All the time.”

“Hi, Mommy,” said Sandy. “It’s me, Sandy.”

“And even if she doesn’t seem to say anything back, Sandy, in your mind you know everything she would say. Molly always called me Pops. So right now I hear Molly calling me that.”

“Mommy calls me Sandy-dandy.”

“I know. And she’s probably calling you that right now.”

“I can hear her. I really, really can. It’s me, Mommy, Sandy-dandy.”

“Yeah, I can hear her, too.”

“I’m going to go show her some new dresses that Daddy got me.”

“I’m sure she’ll love to see them.”

“You really are Amos Decker, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I really am Amos Decker.”

For better or worse.

A few moments later Earl came on. “My God, Amos, I don’t know what you said, but she’s totally changed. She ran upstairs laughing her head off and saying ‘Sandy-dandy’ over and over.” He paused. “Amos, you still there?”

“I’m here.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, look, I gotta go.”

Decker clicked off and stared down at the phone.

Andrews gave White a questioning look.

She said, “Take us back to our rental. I think it’s time we checked in at the hotel and had some food. And, maybe, a drink.”

As the car pulled away White glanced surreptitiously at Decker.

The man just kept looking at his phone.





Chapter 14



I WON’T ASK YOU IF you want to talk about it, because I know what the answer will be.”

Decker and White were sitting in the dining area of the DoubleTree. Their meal was done. Decker had a beer, while White fingered a glass of merlot.

Decker ignored this and finished his beer. He was standing up to leave when she said, “I had three kids, Decker. Now I only have two.”

He sat back down. “What happened?”

“Rival gangs going at it out on our street. They spewed rounds all over the place. One came through the wall of our house. My son, Donte, had sat up in bed when he heard all the noise. Bullet caught him right here.” She placed a trembling finger to her left temple.

“I’m sorry. When did it happen?”

“Five years ago.” She paused and looked down. “He was my middle child. I had my kids right in a row. My biological clock was ticking. I knew I wanted three. I thought I could handle it, FBI career and all. Until my ex walked out the door when I was still carrying Jacky. Luckily my mom came to the rescue. I…I wasn’t home when it happened. I was away on an…” A sob broke through, but she quickly quelled it. She wiped her mouth with her napkin and looked up, but didn’t meet Decker’s gaze. “Away on an assignment,” she finished.