Like a Sister(26)

There were no dimples today. Just tears, her eyes a red-rimmed puffy mess that would require an intricate cocktail of creams and patches to rectify. She shuffled straight to me, only stopping when she was close enough to envelop me in the fleece blanket she’d brought with her from the bedroom.

The top of my T-shirt was drenched within seconds. I held her while Felicia busied herself in the kitchen area. Zarah finally pulled away. “Let’s sit.”

She shuffled to a white couch that looked uncomfortable as hell, but then so did the kitchen chairs and every other piece of furniture in the place. We sat, then just took each other in. I hadn’t seen myself in hours. I was sure I didn’t look much better than she did—minus the red eyes, of course. I should’ve asked her about Mel, but I didn’t. There was something else on my mind.

“Was Desiree suicidal?”

It was as if Zarah suddenly inflated. “No! Are the police saying…” She trailed off. I was losing her. Shitnuts.

“No,” I said quickly. “They did say she was going to meet someone after she left the party. She mention anyone?”

She shook her head.

I pressed. “Not when you said goodbye.”

Her eyes teared up again. “I had to rush to Abby’s lip-kit launch before the red carpet closed. We didn’t say goodbye. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m not blaming you. Do you think maybe it was someone she was seeing?”

Zarah’s eyes lit up, happy to be helpful. “Maybe! She definitely saw him earlier. She was wearing a necklace he got her. Kept fingering it all night.”

“Who was it?”

She deflated again. “She wouldn’t say, just that they had to keep things quiet because of the press. And I didn’t want to ask since we’d just started talking again. I should’ve. I’m so sorry.”

The tears came fast and furious. I pulled her close and held her again as I spoke to Felicia. “Can you get her some water?”

By the time she’d brought the glass over, Zarah was just dry heaving. “She was like this all morning,” Felicia said, like Zarah wasn’t there. Couldn’t hear a word. “The meds were helping, though. I can call her doctor. See if he can come back.”

I shook my head. I could ask Tam about Mel. “Let’s just get her to bed. Maybe that’ll help.” I turned to Zarah, gently rubbed her back. “Felicia’s gonna take you to your room.”

She just nodded, letting me and Felicia help her up and then down the hall.





Eight



I texted Tam from the Uber on the drive home, but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t answer. It was late. Aunt E’s light was on when the Uber dropped me off, but her apartment went dark as soon as I opened our front gate. Just like when I stayed over in college.

She didn’t open her door when I walked past, and I didn’t stop in to say good night. Instead, I went straight up to my apartment. She’d been inside. The aluminum-foil-wrapped plate on my kitchen counter was a dead giveaway. Still not hungry, I put it in my fridge and left a trail of clothes to my bathroom, where I hunted down an old bottle of melatonin I hadn’t used since the month after Desiree and I had stopped speaking. It was long past its expiration. I was willing to risk it.

I added gel to my braids, tied them down with a scarf, and popped three gummies.

I dreamt that night. Desiree and me playing hide-and-seek, something we had loved as kids. Gram’s apartment and backyard weren’t big, so we both knew all the places to hide and all the places to look. But it wasn’t like that in my dream. I looked for her all night, checked everywhere, including the cabinet she loved. I never found her.

I woke up to the sun shining. I’d forgotten to close the curtains. It was 8:30—late for me—but that was far from why I felt so out of sorts. First thing I did was check my texts. My message to Tam was marked as read. She hadn’t responded. I sent her a quick Morning.

That too was read immediately and ignored. It took me less than a nanosecond to decide to go see her. I rushed through my morning routine, throwing on my YOU HAD ME AT STAY AT HOME T-shirt and Jordan retros before heading downstairs to apologize to Aunt E.

I opened her door without knocking and made my way through the patchwork of furniture that had crowded the main living area as far back as I could remember. Aunt E had always referred to Gram as an organized hoarder. Claimed to hate that about her. And yet she hadn’t removed a single item, even Gram’s aged black leather recliner, which none of us dared use.

Aunt E sat at the kitchen table in her pajamas, talking on her house line. I could tell from her expression she was speaking to Ms. Paterson from next door. “Let me go, Denise. Lena’s here.” She paused. “She’s a grown woman. If she wants to get in that late, that’s her own business.” Another pause. “I’ll definitely let you know as soon as arrangements are made.”

She hung up. “That nosy heifer will probably know before you or me anyway.”

We both laughed, and she kept the smile on, genuinely happy to see me.

“No Zumba?” I said. She did Gold at least three times a week.

“Not today.” She gave me a thorough once-over as if looking for cracks and tears. “You okay?”

I was not but didn’t want to get into details. Not until I knew more. “Sorry I missed dinner.”