Life and Other Near-Death Experiences(64)

“That’s a sucky reality, Libby, and you know I feel terrible about it,” he said. “But you have Paul, and his partner, and your nephews. You have your dad, who would probably jump at the opportunity to be a bigger part of your life. Your friend Jess? She’d be there for you in a heartbeat. You know that. And you have me.”

A lump formed in my throat. When he put it like that, I had to admit how stupid I was, trying to be a cowgirl about the whole thing.

“You owe it to yourself to at least make an effort,” Shiloh said. “And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your mom. You know it’s what she would have wanted.”



Don’t go it alone, I told myself as I marched down West Wacker, the wind whipping at my face and making my eyes tear. I tucked my head closer to my body and pressed on another block, until I came upon the building where I had once spent more time than my own home.

“You’ll need to sign in, ma’am,” said the security guard as I walked up to the reception desk. She did a double take. “Libby, is that you?”

“Hey, Georgie,” I said, smiling at the woman who had greeted me most mornings for the better part of a decade.

“Girl, I barely recognized you! Tell me those are not jeans,” she said, giving my legs a long, skeptical look.

Now I laughed. “No need to dress up when I’m not punching a clock these days. I am here to see Jackie, though. Did she come in this morning?”

“Like a hurricane,” Georgie snorted. “You sure you want to see that bag of angry on a day like today?”

“No, but I need to.”

“Want me to call up for you?”

I shook my head. “I’ll explain it to her assistant when I get up there.”

“Oh, my. If you think Jackie has an assistant, you’ve lost your damn mind. She’s been through at least four, not a one lasting more than a few days.” Georgie looked at me questioningly. “You here to try to get your job back?”

“Not quite.”

She put her hand on her forehead. “Praise the Lord. I miss seeing your mug, Libby, but you don’t need that in your life.”



The click-clack of a keyboard was audible from the other side of Jackie’s door, but when I knocked, she didn’t answer. I knocked again; still no response. So I let myself in. “I’m in the middle of something,” she yelled without turning her head away from her oversize computer monitor.

“Jackie?” I said quietly.

“I’m in—” She stopped abruptly. “Libby, is that your sorry ass? If you’re here to ask for your job back, you’re out of luck. At best, I’ll hire you back as a low-level secretary, but there’s no way in hell you’re getting your title back after the mess you left behind.”

“I don’t need a job,” I said. “Well, maybe I do, but not right now. I’m sick, Jackie.”

“In the head!” she barked. “Why else would you leave a ridiculously high-paying job you were completely underqualified for? And don’t tell me you got a better offer, because a hobo wouldn’t work with you looking like that.”

I looked down. My black down jacket did make me look a bit like a charred marshmallow, and my wrinkled jeans were only half covered by the leather boots Jess had coaxed me to buy. It was entirely possible that after battling the lake-effect snow, my makeup was now sliding down my face. “You don’t like my makeover?” I said, tilting my head. “I thought it was a lot cuter than the chains and shackles you had me wearing every day.”

“Good God, woman! It’s like your personality got a makeover. What happened to the not-so-little woman I hired, who couldn’t even say boo to the sandwich delivery guy?”

“Focus, Jackie,” I said. “I’m here because I need health insurance, and I need it yesterday.”

“You’re pregnant!” she said, her voice dripping with accusation. Jackie was childless by choice, and because I had never shared my fertility struggles with her, she assumed I was as well. Other than my unflagging competence, it was perhaps the only thing she’d ever liked about me.

I crossed my arms. “No, sadly, I am not pregnant. I have this unfortunate chronic condition called cancer. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?”

“Right, and a Ugandan prince is waiting to sweep me off my feet after I wire you each twenty thousand dollars.”

“Jackie.”

She stood up and walked around the desk to where I was standing. Then she slowly looked me up and down, and apparently decided I wasn’t trying to run a scam on her. “Christ, that was not the news I needed today. Is that why you flipped out on me?”

“I flipped out on you because I asked you for a tiny bit of time off, and you flipped out on me,” I said. “Now, stay on point. I didn’t sign up for COBRA on time, and the other insurance policies I’ve looked into have deductibles that, frankly, I’d have to sell a kidney to afford. For all I know, my kidneys are cancer corroded, too, so that’s probably not even an option.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t want you to do anything. I need you to tell HR that there was an error in the date of my termination so I can still sign up for COBRA coverage. I need to be officially working for you five days longer than I actually was,” I said.