Lies of My Monster: A Dark Mafia Romance(28)

Only for the cycle to begin again.

It’s downright toxic at this point, but I can’t put an end to it.

Sometimes, when it gets to be too much, I try to call my uncle to make sure they’re doing okay, but his phone has been disconnected.

At this point, I’ve been truly cut off from my family, and this place is the closest I’ve ever had to belonging. I’ve found dear friends in Yuri, Maks, Kara, and the others.

Even Viktor’s mountain-like presence feels like an anchor.

Konstantin’s, too. Sometimes, he joins me and Karina for breakfast, but only when Yulia isn’t around.

Kirill always, without fail, glares at us whenever he sees us, and soon after, I get an order that we’re leaving the house.

Still, I don’t want to lose the relationships and the belonging I feel in this place. Kirill might not approve of me, but I can at least do my part to ward off unnecessary enemies.

I wait for Yuri to go back to the annex and make sure Viktor has headed to the gym to torture the others, then I follow Kirill to the office.

Once I’m in front of the door, I take a deep breath, but before I knock, it opens, and he appears at the threshold, tall, big, and downright frightening.

My fist hovers over his chest for a few seconds before I finally come to my senses and drop it.

He crosses his developed arms over his chest, making his shirt stretch over his biceps. “I know what you’re here for and the answer is still no, and mark my words, Lipovsky, if you go behind my back on this, I’ll fire you.”

I purse my lips. “But—”

“No buts. If you’re going to prove your loyalty, you will not disobey my orders.”

“Let me ask you something,” I whisper. “Why didn’t you just expose my real gender and get rid of the threat Rai poses to you? She might have lacked power before, but she has influence now, and she can use it to strip you of all the accomplishments you’ve made.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Uh…I’m sort of in the middle of the problem, so I think it’s my business.”

“Do as you’re told and stay put.”

“I…can tell her myself.”

“Are you in the mood to fucking die?”

“If it proves my loyalty.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“You acting suicidal is the definition of being a fucking idiot. How will you prove your loyalty when you’re dead?”

“You’ll finally know it then and stop treating me like I don’t exist. I’m right here, Kirill. Always beside you, in front of you, and anywhere you want me to be, so why…” I choke on my words. “Why are you erasing me?”

“You know exactly why.”

“Will you ever trust me again? Am I fighting a losing battle?”

“I might consider trusting you if you don’t go trying to get yourself killed. Got it?”

My heart warms, and I think it’ll explode from the sheer pressure his mere words have put on it.

He might trust me.

Well, consider to trust me, but it’s a beginning all the same.

Kirill is a lot of things, but he’s not the type who dishes out empty hope.

“And do us all a favor.” He narrows his eyes. “Stop befriending people and being a busybody, Lipovsky.”

“It’s Sasha.” The words get stuck at the back of my throat. “I hate it when you call me by my last name.”

His face remains the same, short of the clenching of his jaw and the slow adjusting of his glasses.

“Stay. Fucking. Put.” He enunciates every word, then, just like that, he closes the door in my face.





10





KIRILL





I have a bad feeling today.

There’s nothing out of the ordinary in my routine, but something isn’t clicking. I’m not sure if it’s people, food, or even my fucking men.

Everything is wrong in some way—a bit crooked, twisted, and completely…out of reach.

The last time I felt this way was when I was on the top of that hill in the middle of nowhere and saw the mercenaries behind Aleksandra.

I haven’t started to deal with that, and now, we have this. Whatever this is.

“Is everything in order?” I ask Viktor on my way to the car.

“As usual.”

That still doesn’t erase the uncomfortable feeling.

I stop in front of the house and cast a glance at my surroundings, which are shrouded in the night’s darkness. Three vans, all full of my men, who I might as well be leading to their deaths.

Like I did to Rulan and the others.

“Maksim,” I call.

He lifts his head from checking his weapon. My focus shifts briefly to Aleksandra who’s standing next to him. At my appearance, she straightens until her shoulders nearly snap.

For over three months, I’ve been attempting to erase her from my reality and have only managed to fail miserably.

On one hand, I want to tie her up and torture her for answers, using unorthodox methods that are more sexual than physical. But that thought soon fades.

If I go down that road, I’ll be the one with a problem that’s been manifesting itself every day in the form of my cock’s hate speech. He’s been my enemy for months after failing to put him to use.