Lies of My Monster: A Dark Mafia Romance(22)

A guard who lured me to my near death.

But that doesn’t matter, because the fact remains—her life is all mine now.





8





SASHA





Am I doing the right thing?

Honestly, I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that I refuse to move from here unless Kirill stops this madness and at least hears me out.

And not talk at me, but actually talk to me.

I know it’s an impossible thing to ask for since he thinks I betrayed him, but I also won’t be exiled to the other end of the house indefinitely.

Maybe he’ll never be satisfied, and I’ll grow old and gray in that boring weapon vault.

It’s better to put an end to it now. Whether I win or lose, at least I’ll have proper closure.

Three days have passed since he told me to either return to my post or remain here and starve to death. I foolishly chose the latter because, as I mentioned earlier, I won’t be forced back into exile.

Despite the determination that flooded me at the beginning of this mission, I’m finding it hard to keep up with my body’s deteriorating state. I’m sitting with my back against the pillar near the mansion’s entrance, where everyone who goes in or out can see me.

I must look pathetic, begging for a chance from a boss who won’t even listen to me.

The thought of facing Kirill draws goosebumps over my skin. But I would rather experience this surreal discomfort than know I’ll probably never see him again.

As time passes, he’ll completely erase me from his life and continue living as if I never existed.

The mere thought of that possibility makes me shiver with dread. I have this irrational fear that he’ll never appreciate or respect me as much as I do him.

That, in the great scheme of things, I’m nothing but a convenient pit stop on his path that he was always meant to leave.

And that scares the shit out of me.

As per Kirill’s order, no one has offered me food, except for Maksim and Yuri, who tried to slip me some protein bars. Karina brought me a feast, too, and told me to ignore her ‘stupid’ brother.

I shook my head and refused to eat anything. If I’m meant to starve for my cause, then I’ll do it. I definitely won’t cheat the system just because I can.

I hadn’t had anything to drink until Viktor himself threw a large bottle of water next to me two days ago and again last night. “Don’t even think about dying while we’re still investigating what happened in Russia.”

I wanted to refuse that, too, but there’s only so much I can do without actually dying.

So I drank the water and kept the bottle beside me. If Kirill objected to that, he didn’t show it or threaten to throw me off the property.

He comes out every morning for his walk with Karina and doesn’t look in my direction. It’s as if I’m invisible. His sister, however, comes to check on me, and asks me to end this already and return to the weapon vault until he calms down then attempts to persuade him to give me my post back. Not only does he not reply, but he also continues to ignore my existence.

No matter how much I try not to be affected by his cold behavior, knowing that he can erase me so easily hurts more than I’m willing to admit.

A shadow hovers over me, and when I look up, I find Anna standing there with a tray of food. She pushes it in my direction while still wearing the same stern expression she always has for me. “You need to eat before you pass out.”

My spine straightens. “Did…Boss ask you to bring me this?”

“No. I just don’t like seeing people starving to death.”

Oh.

My shoulders hunch.

I thought that since Anna only follows Kirill’s orders, the fact that she brought me food had to be because he told her to.

The small hope that blossomed in my chest turns to ashes in a fraction of a second.

I shake my head. “I’m not eating. Besides, didn’t you hear what Boss ordered? No one is allowed to give me food.”

“Listen, young man. I don’t care what he says. No starvation will happen under my watch.”

I vehemently shake my head again. If Kirill is stubborn, then I’m ten times worse.

“If you don’t pick up the spoon and eat, so help me God, I will force you,” she threatens. “You’re too starved to stop me.”

“I can still fight you, Anna.” I sigh, finding it hard to even speak due to sheer lack of energy. “Seriously, I’m thankful for the effort, but I refuse to eat or move unless I can go back to my previous post.”

Anna is about to say something, probably to scold me, but stops herself when Konstantin strolls out of the house. He approaches us, and Anna places the tray by my side, nods, and leaves.

Kirill’s brother stares down at me with eyes way warmer than his brother’s, probably because they’re not as hauntingly icy. Besides, ever since he was kidnapped and tortured, I’ve started to see him through new eyes.

He’s actually more classically handsome than Kirill. Sharp jawline and cheekbones, sandy blond hair, and a more clean-cut aura. Where Kirill has a nefarious edge, Konstantin has a protector feel. Which is weird since when I first met him, I thought he was a cliché of an evil brother who only cared about power. It was only over the last few months that I learned he has a completely different personality when Kirill is around—antagonistic, foolish, and repellent. Almost as if he was doing it on purpose.