Letters to Molly (Maysen Jar, #2)(83)

“A daughter who let her partner rule her life for far too long.”

Rule my life? That was ridiculous. Mom made Finn out to be this controlling, egomaniacal villain. “You never liked Finn. I don’t understand why.”

“You’re a different person when he’s around.”

“A different person? What do you mean?”

“You’re more worried about his feelings than you are your own. You give him too much power.”

“Power over what? I’ve always made my own decisions. I’ve always lived my life. Taking his feelings into account isn’t a bad thing, Mom. That’s what you do when you love someone.”

“You never moved to New York after college. You gave up that dream.”

I rolled my eyes. “That was my dream for about a month when I was sixteen, when I thought I wanted to work on Wall Street. I mentioned it to you once and you never let it go. My dreams changed.”

“And what about his business? You started that business together and once it was established, he all but shoved you out the door.”

“I stayed home with our children. But you are right, that was hard for me to accept.” I’d give her that one.

“Does this really matter?” she asked between bites. “I came to have a nice lunch with you and to let you know Finn is seeking counseling. Maybe it’s because of the accident, but you should know. He could be on the verge of an emotional crisis. It might not be safe for him to be alone with Kali and Max.”

What the hell?

“Do you hear yourself?” I shook my head. “Finn would never do anything to harm our children. He isn’t having an emotional crisis. He went through an incredible trauma. You of all people should applaud him for wanting to talk through any issues that may have caused.”

Though it would have been nice to know he was struggling. After all the letters, after all the air we’d cleared these past few months, he still didn’t trust me with his feelings.

“I have your best interests at heart.”

I’d heard that statement from Mom a thousand times, always when I didn’t agree with her. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

“Doing what?”

“Playing both sides. I love Finn. I will always love Finn, whether we are together or not. He’s the father of my children and a good man. You can judge my failed marriage all you want, but it’s time you learn to keep those opinions to yourself. Do not come here or to my home and belittle him.”

Mom looked at me like I’d gone crazy. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” I stood from the table. “I’m just making my position perfectly clear. In the choice of you versus Finn, he will always be the winner. Call that unhealthy. Call me a pushover. Call me whatever you want. That’s your decision. But I’ve made my choice. I hope you can respect that. Please enjoy the rest of your meal. It’s on me.”

Without another word, I left my mother sitting slack-jawed at the table. I crossed through the restaurant, my heart racing. I passed Randall and Jimmy as they sat nearly comatose on their stools. Cole must have snuck out the back door. I managed to keep my chin up and shoulders pinned until I made it into the kitchen, then I blew out the breath I’d been holding and let my hands shake.

Poppy was at the table working. She abandoned whatever she was mixing when she saw my pale face. “What happened? Are you okay? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

“I’m okay.” I took three deep breaths. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I need you to tell me something as my best friend and not as Finn’s sister.”

“Okay.”

“Is it crazy that I love Finn?”

“Maybe,” she answered. “But I’d rather be crazy in love than just crazy.”

I giggled, my shoulders relaxing away from my ears. Leave it to Poppy to make me smile. I walked to the table, dropping my elbows to the top and resting my face in my hands. “I don’t think I’ll have the mother-daughter relationship I’ve always wanted.”

“Sure you will. With Kali.”

My heart swelled as I pictured Kali’s face from this morning, her smile wide and bright as she walked away from the Jeep to start her school day. “God, you’re so right. I feel like I’ve been trying for years to build this easy dialogue with my mom and it’s just . . . not easy. It never has been.”

Mom lectured. I listened. I placated her because it was too exhausting to debate with her. I’d learned that at an early age. Mom had an answer for everything. Rarely was it You’re right, Molly.

“I’m tired of trying,” I admitted.

The door swung open with a squeak, and I braced, expecting Mom to storm through with some choice words.

Instead, Finn strolled inside. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I stood up from the table. “Was my mom still out there when you came in?”

“Yes.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“Yes.”

I gave him the side-eye. “What did you say?”

“I started with hello, then I told her that shade of navy looked good on her but hustled in here before she could say something to piss me off.”

“Thanks for that. It’s probably best that only one of us fights with her today.”