Landon & Shay: Part Two (L&S Duet #2)(96)

I think of your smile. Your laugh. Your dimple. Your kindness.

Every time I’m overwhelmed, I think of your heartbeats.

It always calms the war inside my soul.

I miss you.

I think I always will.

Raine told me you’re happy lately. In turn, so am I.



-Satan





I picked up more letters, my eyes shooting across the pages as if I were an addict in need of my next fix.

February 3rd, 2010



Happy birthday, Chick. I hope it’s one in a million.



-Satan





And another.

July 12th, 2014



Chick,



I know it’s stupid that I still write these letters, but after all this time, it’s become a routine. It keeps my head clear, and my therapist says anything that keeps my mind on track is something worth keeping around. So, I keep crafting my words for you. Only ever for you.

Last night I wanted to dream of your eyes.

I hate that they are fading from my memory.



-Satan





And another…

August 23rd, 2018,



Chick,



Last night you told me you hated me at the whiskey party.

I hated that I wanted to tell you that I still loved you. That you still felt like home to me. That the happiest time of my life, was when I was in your arms. I can’t blame you for hating me. I’d hate me too for what I’ve done.

But my love for you is still there sitting strong within my chest.

I love you times two. I don’t think that will ever change.



-Satan





“You…you wrote me every day for the past decade?” I choked out, shock racing through my system as I stood in the middle of Landon’s mind. Words he created solely for me.

“Yes. I knew there came a point when I should’ve stopped, but I couldn’t. I felt as if I stopped writing my letters, I’d officially lose you, and I never wanted that. I never wanted to let you go.”

I walked over to him, treading through his stories, and took his hands into mine. I placed them against my chest and shook my head. “My heart doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to. I’m afraid of loving you, because that means I can lose you again, Landon, and that terrifies me.”

“I know. I know how much it scares you, because it scares me, too. I’m terrified that I’m going to mess this up. I’m terrified that I’m going to ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me due to my slips into depression, or my struggles with sometimes making mistakes. The idea of losing you all over again is too much for me, though. We can be scared, but still stay. We can be afraid, and still honor our love. Still fight for this, because this is it, Shay. There’s never going to be anything or anyone else for you. You’re my story. You’re my final page. You’re my final word.”

I took a deep inhalation and released it slowly. “What if I take too long to figure out how to stop being afraid?”

“Remember what you said to me when we were younger? How you told me to take my time and to go slow? I need you to do that for yourself, but I’ll be right here waiting, ready to pick you up if you start to fall. I promise to go slow with you, to take the time to relish in our love, to not speed through it and miss the beautiful moments—your laugh, your smile, your heartbeats. I promise to move quietly though our love story, taking in every breath with care and passion. I promise you all over this, all of me. I promise you that I’ll sé valiente, sé fuerte, sé amable, y quédate.” The moment those words fell from his tongue, the tears began rolling down my cheeks.

I kissed him.

It was so gentle and small that I wasn’t even sure that it qualified as a kiss, but my lips brushed against his as time stood still.

“This time’s forever?” I whispered against his lips.

“This time’s forever. I couldn’t imagine spending another day without you by my side. I love you, Shay. More than words, I love you, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for all the memories we missed out on creating. This,” he said, pulling me in closer to his chest. “You, me, and us. This is only the beginning of our beautiful story, and I cannot wait to see what else we write against our pages.”

“This is going to be the best story I’ve ever written.”

He rested his forehead against mine, holding me as if he had no plans of ever letting me go. “I love you times two,” he said, kissing me gently.

“I love you times two,” I echoed.

And times three, times four, times infinity.





Epilogue





Shay

Two years later





“How are you holding up?” Mom asked as she peeked her head into my fitting room.

My heart raced as I stared into the mirror. The dress that lie against my body was everything I’d ever dreamed of. It was the first wedding gown I’d tried on, and I knew instantly it was the dress for me. Still, Raine and Eleanor pushed for me to try on a few more options.

“You never go with your first option, because there’s always something better around the corner,” Raine explained. “Plus, this is the first day I’ve had away from Jameson in the past two years, so I need you to take longer so I can get drunk on the free champagne.”