Landline(4)

“I can’t do this,” Scotty moaned. “Everyone can tell I have a secret.”

Seth glanced up at the door—it was closed. “So? As long as they don’t know what the secret is . . .”

“I don’t like it,” Scotty said. “I feel like such a traitor. I’m Lando on Cloud City. I’m that guy who kissed Jesus.”

Georgie wondered if any of the other writers actually did suspect something. Probably not. Georgie and Seth’s contract was up soon, but everybody assumed they were staying. Why would they leave Jeff’d Up after finally dragging it into the top ten?

If they stayed, they’d get raises. Giant, life-changing raises. The sort of money that made Seth’s eyeballs pop out like Scrooge McDuck whenever he talked about it.

But if they left . . .

They’d only leave Jeff’d Up now for one reason. To start their own show. The show Georgie and Seth had been dreaming about practically since they met—they’d written the first draft of the pilot together when they were still in college. Their own show, their own characters. No more Jeff German. No more catchphrases. No more laugh track.

They’d take Scotty with them if they left. (When they left, Seth would say. When, when, when.) Scotty was theirs; Georgie had hired him two shows back, and he was the best gag writer they’d worked with.

Seth and Georgie were better at writing situations. Weirdness that twisted into more weirdness, jokes that built and built, and finally paid off big after eight episodes. But sometimes you just needed somebody to slip on a banana peel. Scotty never ran out of banana peels.

“Nobody knows you have a secret,” Seth told him. “Nobody cares. They’re all just trying to get their shit done so they can get out of here for Christmas.”

“So what’s the plan, then?” Scotty propped himself up in the chair. He was a smallish Indian guy, with shaggy hair and glasses, and he dressed like almost everybody else on the writing staff—in jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and stupid-looking flip-flops. Scotty was the only gay person on their staff. Sometimes people thought Seth was gay, but he wasn’t. Just pretty.

Seth threw a grape at Scotty. Then another one at Georgie. She ducked.

“The plan,” Seth said, “is we come in tomorrow as usual, and we write. And then we write some more.”

Scotty picked his grape up off the floor and ate it. “I just hate to abandon everybody. Why do we always move as soon as I make friends?” He shifted to sulk in Georgie’s direction. “Hey. Georgie. Are you okay? You look weird.”

Georgie realized she was staring. And not at either of them. “Yeah,” she said. “Fine.”

She picked up her phone again and thumbed out a text.



Maybe . . .

Maybe she should have talked to Neal this morning before he left. Really talked to him. Made sure everything was okay.

But by the time Neal’s alarm went off at four thirty, he was already out of bed and mostly dressed. Neal still used an old Dream Machine clock radio, and when he came over to the bed to turn it off, he told Georgie to go back to sleep.

“You’ll be a wreck later,” he said when she sat up anyway.

Like Georgie was going to sleep through telling the girls goodbye. Like they weren’t all going to be apart for a week. Like it wasn’t Christmas.

She reached for the pair of glasses hooked over their headboard and put them on. “I’m taking you to the airport,” she said.

Neal was standing outside his closet with his back to her, pulling a blue sweater down over his shoulders. “I already called for a car.”

Maybe Georgie should have argued then. Instead she got up and tried to help with the girls.

There wasn’t much to do. Neal had put them to bed in sweatpants and Tshirts, so he could carry them out to the car this morning without waking them.

But Georgie wanted to talk to them, and anyway, Alice woke up while Georgie was trying to slide on her pink Mary Janes.

“Daddy said I could wear my boots,” Alice croaked.

“Where are they?” Georgie whispered.

“Daddy knows.”

They woke Noomi up, looking for them.

Then Noomi wanted her boots.

Then Georgie offered to get them yogurt, but Neal said they’d eat at the airport; he’d packed snacks.

He let Georgie explain why she wasn’t getting on the plane with them—“Are you driving instead?” Alice asked—while he ran up and down the stairs, and in and out the front door, double-checking things and rounding up bags.

Georgie tried to tell the girls that they’d be having such a good time, they’d hardly miss her—and that they’d all celebrate together next week. “We’ll have two Christmases,” Georgie said.

“I don’t think that’s actually possible,” Alice argued.

Noomi started crying because her sock was turned the wrong way around her toes. Georgie couldn’t tell if she wanted it seam-on-the-bottom or seam-on-top. Neal came in from the garage and whipped off Noomi’s boot to fix it. “Car’s here,” he said.

It was a minivan. Georgie herded the girls out the door, then knelt down next to the curb in her pajama pants, kissing both their faces all over and trying to act like saying goodbye to them wasn’t that big of a deal.

“You’re the best mommy in the world,” Noomi said. Everything was “the best” and “the worst” with Noomi. Everything was “never” and “always.”