Kiss the Stars (Falling Stars #1)(67)

Nirvana.

An eclipse.

His darkness surrounding. Stars all around.

“Mia. Fuck me.”

He seemed to get lost, too, spiraling, one hand coming to the back of my neck, dragging me to his kiss. The fingers of his other hand sank into the flesh of my hip, jerking me forward to meet each drive of his body.

He worked me into a sweat.

Worked me into a puddle.

Worked me into chaos.

Pieces of me coming apart.

Cracking.

Splintering.

I buried the scream in his neck when he broke me with bliss. As pleasure unfurled from that tiny pinpoint and scattered into eternity.

Where he sent me wandering in his mystery.

He yanked me from the table as my body was still rocking with waves, and he set me on unsteady feet and whirled me around.

My hands shot out to brace myself on the table, unprepared for the sudden shift. Immediately, he had me wound up again.

Grabbing my bottom in both hands, he filled me.

Hard and fast and possessive.

His face buried in my hair.

Two thrusts and I could feel it.

The erratic jerk of his body and the moan of his spirit as he took me flying with him again.

The chant wouldn’t stop rolling from his tongue. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

And God, I couldn’t understand what he was apologizing for.

His body stilled, and he clutched me tight. He slipped his arms around my waist, and he leaned his chin over my shoulder and brought us cheek to cheek. “What have you done, Mia? What have you done?”





Twenty-Two





Leif





Twenty-Three Years Old





“What is this?” The sound of Maddie’s voice stopped me in my tracks.

I’d been walking down the hall to the bedroom to grab my shoes so we could leave for dinner.

One second I was without a care.

Fucking happy for the first time.

Truly happy.

Not the fucked up, toxic kind, a fraudulent high that burned through my veins and left me in chains.

Next, alarm was sending a rash of nerves tumbling down my spine.

Barbs that lifted the hairs at the nape of my neck and shot my heart into overdrive.

Like any sudden movement might scare her away, I slowly turned around.

Maddie was standing in the middle of our living room with a fucking block in her hand. I gripped two fistfuls of hair.

“Baby,” I wheezed.

Her face pinched in rejection.

Like she’d already heard the lie that was getting ready to come out of my mouth.

Same ones I’d been telling for the last six months.

Except for then, she didn’t even have the suspicion, had no clue who I was.

Wanted to keep it that way because the last thing I wanted was for this amazing girl to know the real me.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I told her, hands coming out in front of me like I was trying to calm a scared animal.

Except it was exactly what it looked like.

Her chin trembled as she tried to hold back tears. “Then tell me what it is,” she demanded, a sob hitching into a plea. “Tell me what this is.”

“Baby.”

I was across the room in a flash, ripping the coke from her hands and tossing it onto the couch, wrapping her up in my arms.

She went weak in my hold.

Sobbing into my shirt.

My innocent, harmless girl.

“You’re a liar.”

I nodded into her hair. “I am.”

A motherfucking bastard.

But she didn’t know I was shackled.

Fettered to the only life I’d known until she’d changed my perception of what life was supposed to be.

She clung to my shirt. “Why? How could you keep this from me?”

“Because I knew I never would have been right for you.”

She pried herself back, peered up at me. “I . . . I don’t understand. You have . . . you have a good job at the shop. Why would you—”

I pressed my fingers to her lips. Cutting her off. “It’s just a front, Maddie. A cover for who we are.”

Hurt spilled from her trusting eyes.

“Keeton?”

I gave her a tight nod.

“Braxton? The rest of the guys?”

Each question she demanded hit me like a gunshot. “Yeah,” I managed through gritted teeth.

She dropped her head into her hands, and she started to tremble. She turned away like she couldn’t stand to continue to look at me “I can’t . . . I can’t believe this. It’s all been a lie. All of it. Us. This house. Our relationship.”

“No. I love you, Maddie. I fuckin’ love you. It’s the only true thing I have in my life.”

I took her by the elbow.

Gently.

Tenderly.

With the little good that was in me because that little good belonged to her. “I never wanted you to look at me this way.”

Emotion crested from her. Coming at me in waves. Warily, she turned back to look at me, tears coating her cheeks. “Then change it. Stop. Be the man I fell in love with. Because you know I can’t stay here, otherwise.”

I wound my arms around her. Hugged her tight. “Okay.”