Kiss the Stars (Falling Stars #1)(35)

Fury bloomed in my blood, and my hand twitched on her neck. “A man came in. He was wearing a mask. He demanded that I give him anything of value. I went behind the counter, and instead of getting out the cash, I pressed the panic button. I should have just done what he’d told me. I should have. If I could go back. God, if I could go back, I would do it all over.”

Moisture gathered in Mia’s eyes. “He just . . . gave me this look when I did. Like he was happy I’d done it. Then he pulled the trigger.”

Motherfucker.

“They said they thought it was random, Leif. A robbery gone bad. Her blood spilled for a few hundred dollars.”

The last broke on a sob.

Fury raced, and every muscle in my body twitched for retribution. “Motherfucker needs to die.”

Shivers raced across her flesh, a flashfire of horror. “He found me. The night of the gala. And I don’t even know who he is or what he wants, but he found me. He was there.”

Malice spiked in my blood, the words a curse as I realized what this had become. “And now you’re here.”

She sniffled, trying to hold it together while I stood there and interrogated her like she was the one to blame. “And now I’m here. Where you are.” Her voice shifted in some kind of plea.

I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was a second from coming unglued.

Disjointed, and there was a piece of me being regenerated in her.

“I wonder if the reason we feel this way around each other is because you know exactly what that feels like. Dying inside because you miss someone so much. Because you wish you could go back and change it and there isn’t a damn thing you can do. I feel it coming off of you, Leif. I feel it. How is that possible that I can feel you this way?”

She curled her fingers in my shirt. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

I wanted to push her back. Hold her close.

Fuck. This girl made me insane.

Old agony throbbed. An ache so intense I was sure I was getting ready to blow.

Combust.

“Or maybe you’re so used to the pain, that’s the only thing you know how to look for,” I told her.

Clearly, she’d experienced more than her fair share. Girl written in the strength exposed by her scars.

The corner of her mouth trembled. Rejection in what I’d said. What she didn’t get was I was doing her a favor.

“Is that what you want, to hurt me?”

There she was, back to asking me the same question she’d demanded the first time our paths had crossed.

Problem was, Fate and Karma were old friends and they were laughing their asses off while they were frolicking around in the pool behind us.

“Only thing I know how to do, Mia.”

“But I bet it would feel good, wouldn’t it? If we let go? If I let myself fall, would you be there to catch me? Just for a little while?” Her hands cinched tighter.

A rumble of a laugh rolled around in my chest.

Wicked little angel.

This girl was disorder. Sweet to the bone and sexy to the core.

I bet if anyone asked anything from her, she’d give it. But she wasn’t ashamed to ask for what she wanted for herself, either.

“Believe me, baby, a few minutes of bliss is never worth the pain that comes with the aftermath. And you obviously have too much to live for to be taking those kinds of chances on me.”

Her eyes darted to the door that was cracked open an inch. No doubt, her kids were sleeping down the hall. That gaze came back to me. A pleading confession. “They’re my world.”

“As they should be, and I refuse to get in the middle of that.”

Tried not to puke when the visions flashed.

Cruel, vile pictures of what I’d done. What I’d been responsible for. What I could never take back.

I needed to remember my purpose. The reason I still breathed.

Her disbelieving laughter was rough, laden with hurt and disgust. “So I’m a no go because I have the horrible complication of being a mother?”

It was an accusation.

Like she couldn’t look at me for a second longer, she jerked away, turning to leave.

Panic belted me.

I grabbed her by the wrist because I couldn’t let her walk away thinking something so wrong. She released a sharp gasp when I yanked her back around.

I leaned in close, the words gritted from between my teeth. “No. Because of the horrible complication of who I am. You want to know what I think about your kids?”

She blinked, unable to keep up.

“I think they’re fucking amazing, and I think you’re the luckiest damned woman to get to call them your own. That you get a love like that. But I don’t.” My teeth ground as I spat out the words.

She swayed, caught in a web. Not sure if she wanted to run or if she wanted to stay.

But I wasn’t done, yet.

“You want to fuck, Mia? Fine. Let’s do it. I’ll gladly devour your sweet little body. I’ll mark myself so deeply on you, you will never forget me. But you and I both know whatever this is? It’s more than that. More than I can give. More than I can handle. And believe me, it is more than you want. And the last thing I want to do is leave another scar on who you are. I think you’ve had plenty enough.”

Soft lips parted in surprise, in need, and fuck, I wanted to gorge on the sound. Her heart pounded in the bare space between us and those sable eyes darted all over my face.