Kiss the Stars (Falling Stars #1)(102)

But I did.

I fucking did.

Guilt clotted my throat.

What I’d put Maddie through.

The worry.

The fear.

Dragging them into a life that they didn’t deserve.

This was a motherfucking bad life.

I only stopped to get the address when it came through.

Was barely breathing by the time I made it down into the city streets. Stop-light after stop-light. I was almost there when my phone started going manic again.

There was no ignoring it.

This feeling that consumed.

Vile and distorted.

Gripping me everywhere. I took a turn into a neighborhood that was nicer than what I expected, eased off to the curb, and pressed my phone to my ear when I saw it was Braxton.

He was shouting before I even got it there. “Nix went to Krane. Said it was you. Said he had proof that it was you. You need to get home.”

I didn’t even respond before I was flying down the street.

Taking every turn too fast.

Too reckless.

Too careless.

But that was what I’d always been.

Careless. Thinking I could keep two separate lives. Protect my family and please my piece of shit stepfather.

I turned the last corner onto our street.

And that was the moment every lie that I’d ever told caught up to me.





Thirty-Four





Mia





Agitated voices flooded my room, drawing my attention from my book. One second later, something banged against the wall before I was startled upright to the sound of glass shattering on the floor.

My pulse spiked, and I scrambled to get off the bed to find out what was happening.

The door flew open before I had the chance to go out.

Penny was there, shaking in the doorway. Worry written on her face.

“Penny. Sweetheart . . . what’s going on? Are you okay?” I rushed, my attention darting everywhere. Trying to find out what was happening.

She struggled for an explanation. “I . . . I don’t know. Leif got here and I asked him if he wanted to go for pizza and then Dad called and then Leif ran out. He seemed really, really upset, Mom. And Dad was saying really mean things and then he just hung up.”

Unease billowed.

Leif had to have heard Nixon on Penny’s call.

Shit.

Moisture welled in her eyes, and apprehension blew up like a balloon inside of me. I hadn’t been looking forward to talking with Nixon about Leif, or vice versa, really.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.” I peered over her shoulder. “Do you know where Leif went?”

Her lips pressed thin. “I don’t know. He wouldn’t talk to me. But I’m worried about him. When I looked at him, I got this feeling . . .”

My knowing child shivered and touched her stomach that I knew was twisted in knots.

Empathy and compassion and warmth.

I ran my fingers down her cheek. “Take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. Your brother is with Auntie Tamar in the main house. Why don’t you go in there with them? I’ll go talk to Leif. I’m sure everything is fine.”

Her nod was shaky, and I dropped a kiss to the top of her head and followed her out into the hall. She went to the left, and I went to the right, my steps quickened as I rushed for the door.

Trying not to panic.

But with every step, the air shifted.

This feeling taking me over.

The energy he’d left behind thick and ugly and distressed.

I pushed the door open to stagnant, muggy heat, and I tried to talk myself down from the ledge. Convince myself not to freak out as I crossed the yard to the guest house.

It wasn’t like I’d had some delusion that Leif and Nixon were going to be friends. Or even civil. Their personalities had already promised they were going to clash.

But this was the last way I’d wanted them to meet.

I bounded the two steps to the small porch, not even knocking before I tossed open the door.

I nearly got knocked onto my butt with the frenetic energy that blazed back.

Heavy footsteps pounded from the bedroom at the back, the walls trembling and the air screaming with pain.

Warily, I inched that way, my breaths coming short and my pulse ratcheting in anxiety. By the time I made it to the bedroom doorway, my head was dizzy, and my heart careened in a manic beat when I found Leif there.

As hard as he’d ever been.

Every muscle in his body stone.

Jaw grit.

Hatred in his movements as he frantically stuffed his things into a bag.

Horror etched every cell in my body.

“Wha-what are you doing?”

He didn’t even flinch. Already well aware I was there.

“Leaving.”

It didn’t matter that his intention was already plain as day, the word jolted me back.

Like I’d been impaled by an arrow.

All the way through.

“What? Why? What happened?” I stumbled into the room. Knees weak. Trying to hold it together.

He zipped up the bag. He refused to look at me as he slung the backpack over his shoulder. “Just time to go.”

He shouldered around me.

Was he kidding me?

Anger surged. A crashing wave that slammed against the heartbreak that sliced through my chest.