Kickin' It (Red Card #2)(58)

Our home.

My safe place with Matt.

Someone threatened it, and I wanted to threaten them right back.

I hugged the pillow to my chest while Matt paced. He was like this shirtless, angry Greek god wearing a hole in the ground.

“I can’t sleep if you don’t sleep,” I said with a sigh. “Plus you promised me dessert.”

He looked up, concern and maybe a little bit of fear lined his face. “I’ll hire security.”

“Why would I need security when I have you?” I said in a dumbfounded voice.

“You’ll be traveling with the team. I can’t be there twenty-four seven, so yeah, I’m going to hire a giant to just stand over you so nobody can hurt you.”

“First off . . .” My heart swelled at the gesture. Oh good, he was back to pacing again. “That’s really creepy, someone should never just stand over another human. It’s weird, and how would you get your vitamin D? Second, you can’t protect me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my past, it’s that there comes a point when you need to learn how to protect yourself.” My throat went dry. “I didn’t. I chose the easy way out by not saying anything and then got violent when it ended up not being easy.”

“You were terrified,” Matt said in a soft voice.

“I didn’t know what he was capable of then. He was just an arrogant coach with a god complex.”

Matt tilted his head. “How did he handle rejection from other girls?”

“I don’t think he did, I mean I don’t think he ever got rejected by the girls I knew about, and we don’t know anyone ever turned him down. For all I know he loved the attention and was pissed because I wasn’t like them.”

“So there could still be other girls suffering like you are,” Matt argued.

“Can we not talk about Erik in our bed?”

Matt’s lips twitched. “One night and now you’re claiming it?”

“Why not? It comes with you, doesn’t it?”

“Not exactly with me, but it’s present when coming happens.” He winked.

I rolled my eyes and burst out laughing.

“There it is.” Matt sobered as he crawled onto the bed and pulled me into his arms. “There’s my Cheetah Girl.”

I slumped against him. “What if this gets in my head, messes up my tryout and—”

“Son of a bitch, that’s it!” Matt yelled, scaring the ever-loving hell out of me.

“What? What’s it?” I pressed a hand to my chest, my heart beating like crazy. The guy had a death wish. Next time I was going to punch him in the jugular.

“He’s trying to get in your head.” Matt grabbed my hands. “Maybe it triggered something when we turned down LA. Say the worst happens and the Reign passes, say other teams pass, say the only team left is LA . . .”

My stomach dropped as a wave of nausea rolled through my system. “Then what? Is he going to stop threatening me with name-calling? Is it going to turn into something more physical? Drastic?”

I stared down at the remote by the nightstand.

Matt pulled it away before I could grab it. “Don’t. Even if he did the worst, even if he went to the media, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh, you know”—tears filled my eyes—“I get called a whore by complete strangers and the guy that hit me, and tried to rape me . . .” The minute the words left me, something snapped. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. Pain pounded through my body as I remembered the rest of that night, the words he said, the way I felt like I gave in.

The pop of his peppermint gum. “You want this, you know you want this.”

“I don’t want this,” I remember saying. “Please, no . . .”

“Just enjoy yourself, we’ll be so good together, just tell me which team you want and I’ll get you in once I’m in . . .” He smirked at his own joke.

“Erik—”

“Say my name again, I like it, tell me to fuck you.”

My clothes were gone. Where were my clothes?

Frozen, I squeezed my eyes shut as he pressed me against the wall, and then bent me over the training table. “Say you want it.”

“No.”

“Say it!” He pulled my loose hair so tight that I screamed. “Oh yeah, just like that . . .”

“I want it,” I said through sobs. “I want it . . .”

I crumpled against Matt’s chest, weeping. It was the missing piece, always the missing piece as I remember just leaving my body and letting it happen. I always remembered saying I wanted it.

Not because I did.

But because he forced me to.

Because he was hurting me.

Because I was afraid.

“Just cry.” Matt held my sobbing body close. “It’s okay, I’m not leaving, Parker. It’s okay, just cry.”

I wasn’t even breathing as I tore angrily at my own clothes, they were suffocating me just like he had suffocated me.

Matt didn’t even blink. He pulled my shirt over my head and then pulled the sheets away from my legs.

“He doesn’t get this, Parker,” Matt said softly. I started to hiccup. “He doesn’t get our bed, our home, he doesn’t get to steal this from us, alright?”