Kaiju Preservation Society(58)

“I’m guessing a lot of kaiju visitations.”

“Yes, including the one with a defective reactor that destroyed the base,” MacDonald said. “The old Tanaka Base was by the water, and kaiju with defective reactors often try to get to water, maybe as a way to cool themselves down before they go critical. This one went to the water and then went to the base. Even in the middle of a critical event, it couldn’t help looking for what it thought was food. Dozens of people died, Mr. Sanders. Ironically, those RTGs are still there, under the rubble. Not active, of course.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that,” Sanders said, after a minute. “Except to say I’m not bribing General Tipton.”

“I can vouch for that, I still have a mortgage and school tuition for three kids,” Tipton said.

“You’ve never struck me as the bribable type,” MacDonald said to Tipton.

“Thank you,” Tipton replied, sardonically.

MacDonald turned her attention back to Sanders. “But we know you are the type to bribe. Just like your grandfather. So, one more time, Mr. Sanders, tell me why you tried to bribe my pilot to let you land.”

“Dr. MacDonald, I swear to you that it was just personal curiosity,” Sanders said. He sighed, exasperated. “Look, I know I can come across as an asshole sometimes. Just ask Jamie.” He pointed at me. All eyes swiveled in my direction.

“Yes, he can,” I affirmed. “If I remember correctly, I told him so the day he fired me.”

“Yes! Thank you,” Sanders said to me, then looked back to MacDonald. “I was in smug asshole mode earlier this morning. I got called out for it. Fair enough. And also, I’ve learned my lesson. Being a smug asshole here doesn’t fly. Literally, in the case of your helicopter pilot. I’m sorry. I can promise it won’t ever happen again.”

MacDonald stared at Sanders and then looked over at Tipton. “General?”

“Well, having spent the last two days with him, I can vouch for him being an asshole,” Tipton said. “I can also say I was as taken by surprise by his request as your pilot was. I have no reason to believe it was anything other than a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

“Jamie?” MacDonald turned to me.

“Huh?” I said, because I am just that smooth.

“Martin says he saw you and Mr. Sanders conversing privately in the helicopter just before he attempted bribery. What was the conversation about?”

A thought occurred to me, and I filed it away for the moment. “It was about Trading Places.”

MacDonald looked confused. “About the two of you trading places?”

“No,” I said. “There was a movie called Trading Places. It’s from the eighties.”

“The Eddie Murphy flick,” Tom volunteered.

“That’s the one,” I said.

“And you were talking about his movie why?” MacDonald asked.

“It was just part of the conversation. Rob’s a big Eddie Murphy fan.”

MacDonald looked over at Sanders for confirmation. “It’s true,” he said. “Early Eddie, not later Eddie. Although Dolemite Is My Name was pretty good.”

“And you talked about nothing else,” MacDonald said to me.

“Before that, we talked about füdmüd, which was the company he founded and that I worked for before he unceremoniously fired my ass,” I said. “He was trying to tell me that firing me wasn’t personal.”

“What did you think about that?” Tom asked.

“Well, I suddenly had no job and no money and spent the next six months delivering food in the middle of a pandemic. It sure felt personal.”

“Did you tell him that?”

I looked at Sanders. “I mean, he already knows I think he’s an asshole.”

MacDonald nodded. “All right,” she said. She turned back to Sanders. “Congratulations, you’ve had your one strike, Mr. Sanders. You get no others. Step out of line again, annoy or interfere with any KPS staff again, and I don’t care how much money your family has or what your connections are, I’ll make your life miserable. And you will certainly never come back to this side ever again. Are we clear?”

“Yes,” Sanders said. “Thank you. Sorry.”

“Good.” MacDonald looked at her smartwatch. “We have a couple of hours until dinner, so unless there’s something else you need, General, I’m going to suggest we break. I would be delighted to have you and Mr. Sanders here accompany me for the meal, if you’re willing.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” Tipton said.

MacDonald nodded. “Six thirty, then,” she said. “I’ll have Jamie come collect you at your quarters.” Everyone got up and exited the room, except for me, who still had to clear the refreshments. I cleaned everything up, put them on my dining cart, and headed out the door toward the dining hall.

Along the way, I saw Tipton and Sanders standing there, talking. I navigated my way toward them; I could see Tipton being animated and poking Sanders in the chest in a pointed way. Tipton saw me coming up, stopped his conversation with Sanders, nodded to me, and wandered off.

“Everything okay?” I asked Sanders.

“I’m being chewed out by everyone today,” he said.