Just The Way You Are(66)

‘Jaxx, are you sure this meets all the British food standards?’ I asked, reluctantly accepting a cracker bearing a blob of bright orange sauce.

‘I’ve been eating tons of the stuff, and look at me.’ He grinned.

Yasmin narrowed one eye. ‘That’s not as reassuring as I think you meant it to be.’

‘Can’t be worse than the crap they dished up in… where I used to live,’ Trev said, sniffing a cracker, before reeling back again. ‘Then again…’

‘This is definitely better than what I ate in prison,’ Yasmin said, rubbing at her wrist. ‘No food standards in that cursed pit of hell.’

Trev choked on the tiny nibble he’d just taken.

‘Intense, innit?’ Jaxx offered him a water bottle.

‘What is this?’ To my huge relief, Irene reappeared before I was forced to take a bite.

‘Taste testing, Irene.’ Jaxx offered her the plastic tub of samples. ‘Here. Sorry to have missed you out!’

Irene pulled a taut smile. It looked as though the papery skin on her cheeks might crack. ‘Ollie, please point out the sign to your clients.’

‘We aren’t supposed to eat our own food in the library,’ I said. ‘No drinks except for those available at the refreshment table.’

‘What?’ Jaxx’s huge, puppy-dog eyes gazed at Irene from under his tracksuit hood. ‘How am I supposed to conduct my market research, then? It’s hard enough getting started, with all this bureaucracy like customs, licences and permits to deal with. Bureau-crap-cy, I call it! I never dreamt that you of all people would be one to crush the entrepreneurial spirit, Irene. Surely you can make an exception for a mate?’

‘A what?’ Irene appeared bamboozled.

‘Go on, you know you want to!’

To everyone’s amazement but Jaxx’s, Irene abruptly picked up a cracker and took a sharp bite. Face contorting through a range of emotions, she chewed, swallowed and then downed a cupful of water.

‘Even if food were allowed in this library, I wouldn’t allow that. I recommend you reconsider your investigations into a career as a paramedic. We’ll be needing a lot more of them if Nomato starts selling.’

‘Woah. That’s harsh!’ Jaxx’s face plummeted.

‘It’s called market research. Clear this up right away, please.’

‘I can’t believe she said “please”!’ Yasmin exclaimed once Irene had clomped back to the help desk. ‘She must really like you!’

Jaxx winked. ‘Everyone does, Yasmin. I’m a very likeable person.’

‘What are you going to do about all this, then?’ Trev asked, once we’d tidied up. ‘Didn’t go too well here, lad.’

Jaxx frowned as he thought about it. ‘I dunno, to be honest. I, like, totally believe in my product and everything. But I suppose the taste could be better.’

‘And the smell,’ Yasmin added. ‘And the colour and texture.’

‘It’s not easy, all this business malarkey, is it?’

‘It’s not,’ Yasmin said. ‘There’s so much to think about, all these decisions and things that you need to know and do so that you aren’t breaking the law or offending your customers.’

‘True story!’ Jaxx nodded vigorously. ‘Like, did you know that you aren’t allowed to start a business without telling the government? And then they want to take a load of the money you make? There’s all these forms to fill in and crap like that.’

‘Did you know that you need insurance in case one of the dogs you are working with bites somebody – as if that would happen to a dog I was training! – or, I don’t know, someone has an allergic reaction to your Nomato because you forgot to say that it contains shellfish?’

‘You think I need to mention that?’

‘Well, only if it contains it…’

Jaxx made a note on his phone.

‘Man. If only there was, like, some club or a group or something like this, where serious business people like us could get together and find all this stuff out,’ he mused. ‘We could share ideas and try out each other’s products. Tell them their website’s boring, all that.’

‘That’s a great idea!’ Trev interjected. ‘You should set one up.’

‘We totally should!’ Jaxx gave him a high five.

‘According to the poster, there already is one,’ I said, pointing to the notice board by the entrance. ‘It meets… every other Friday at one.’

Trev looked at his watch. ‘It’s one thirty.’

‘Oy, Irene!’ Jaxx shouted across the library, causing her to flick up her head, eyes blazing. Although, when she saw who had called out, the heat dropped by several degrees. ‘What about this business group that meets on Fridays?’

Irene wrinkled up her nose. ‘They disbanded.’

‘Why?’

She hesitated. ‘Something to do with a disagreement about biscuits and a guest speaker.’

‘Was the disagreement with you?’ Yasmin asked, smiling sweetly.

Irene became engrossed in straightening the papers on her desk.

‘Well, there can be no objections to the group restarting, then, can there?’ Trev said.