Just The Way You Are(53)
Nesbit squealed in fright, scrabbling to climb up my leg so that a spurt of nervous wee landed right on my brand new walking boots, which turned out not to be one hundred per cent waterproof, as promised in the guarantee.
‘Okay. Great. Well. At least we’ve found the forest,’ I said, muttering words of meaningless reassurance as I rummaged for the raincoat in the bottom of my bag and, once Nesbit was back in the sling, slipped it on and zipped it up so he was safely inside, just the brown tip of a nose poking out.
It was relatively easy once I’d spotted the river to follow it up to the vast blob of dark green that had to be Bigley Forest Park. The problem was, I had a huge stretch of lighter green, brown and yellow fields to cross before I reached it, and I wasn’t sure which part of the darker green I needed to aim for to get back on the right path. Plus, reading a sopping wet map with the rain dripping in my eyes and somehow up my nose, a dog shivering in terror against my chest while trying to avoid being struck by lightning was not an easy task.
In the end, I decided that getting under the shelter of the trees was more pressing than working out which trees I needed to be under. I took a deep breath, straightened my rucksack and gritted my teeth. So things hadn’t all been sunshine and a smooth road. What kind of a challenge would that be? There was no way I was quitting now. Or crying. Or finding a bush to crawl under.
We were marching on to the end.
I might eat my emergency chocolate flapjack while I marched, though.
17
A cold, wet, limping hour later, I reached the treeline, beyond thankful that no farmer had accosted me with his gun when I’d been forced to abandon the footpath yet again and trudge guiltily along what I feared must be private land.
The rain had stopped after only twenty minutes or so, although my shivering bones couldn’t tell. I realised now why all the kit lists said to bring a woolly hat, even if it was twenty-one degrees when we’d set off. I was also bursting for a wee, thanks to the idiotic second bottle of cider. That proved to be a whole different side of adventuring – squatting behind a dripping wet tree, non-twisted ankle sinking into the mud as I tried to avoid bearing weight on the other one, gripping a slippery dog lead as the last thing I needed was for Nesbit to make a break for freedom while my knickers hung around my knees.
I had a glimmer of phone signal now the storm had cleared, so was able to locate my position. Forgetting the path now that we were in the park boundary, I simply headed in the direction of the place I’d chosen for my idyllic overnight camp, and hobbled on.
After another thirty minutes, I remembered that the whole point of passing the park visitor centre on my final stretch was to use the bathroom, fill up my water bottles and grab a drink if the café was still open (it wouldn’t be; it was nearly six). Cursing, close to tears again, I readjusted course and soon hit one of the main paths that would take me to the visitor centre.
Another hour of what can only be described as sheer torture later (interrupted by a short stop in the visitor centre toilets, and a longing gaze through the café window) I reached the designated clearing.
As soon as the tent was up on a reasonably flat spot, I dumped my pack on the grass and stripped off my coat, leggings, shoes and socks to reveal thighs chafed red from walking miles in damp trousers and blisters so huge it looked as though I had six toes. My ankle was slightly swollen, and still tender to the touch, but I hoped that a decent night’s sleep would be enough to remedy it.
My T-shirt had dried due to my body heat, but it stank of sweaty panic, so after tugging my hair out of its ponytail I also ditched that, enjoying the soft breeze against my skin, sucking in a deep breath of the zingy air that always follows a summer storm as I held out my arms, closed my eyes and embraced the overwhelming relief that I had made it.
I couldn’t wait to light a campfire, brew some tea, open up my tub of cheese and crackers, sit back and bask in my success, along with the lingering evening warmth.
The original plan had been to try to start a fire the wild way, with tinder and friction. That was now clearly not going to happen – especially as I had to wade deep into the undergrowth to find wood that had escaped the rain. I cleared an area of bare earth to ensure no risk of vegetation catching alight and made a pile of sticks, as seen on the survival videos. I then added some cotton balls rolled in Vaseline, struck a couple of matches and hey presto, only a few more tries and I had a roaring fire.
The original plan had also included getting dressed in a jumper and clean leggings, but it was still hot, I was fully embracing the back-to-nature vibes, and it suited my triumphant, unfettered mood to spread out my coat and sit back in my bra and knickers while I waited for the tea to boil, and for my skin to thoroughly dry out.
It was in this filthy, sweaty, semi-wild state, scarfing a wedge of extra-strong Cheddar while I waited for the tea to cool, the deepening dusk casting shadows from the fire that twisted and danced across the clearing, that a face appeared in the treeline opposite me.
Scrabbling backwards in shock, I knocked over my mug of tea, one foot becoming entangled in a guy rope as I backed up against the tent, my heart fighting to get out of my chest. This of course woke up Nesbit, who shot up, barking and spinning in frenzied circles as he hunted down whatever beast had caused his mistress to shriek like a banshee.
When his eyes – or possibly nose – locked on the face, who had now emerged to become a full body, he hurtled towards the man. While Nesbit was not likely to do any serious damage to the intruder, I hoped he might scare him away, or at least buy me some time to find a suitable weapon.