Just The Way You Are(10)

‘Yes! That’s it. End Cottage.’

‘If you take that path, and follow it round, it’s maybe fifteen minutes.’ He paused, turning to look at me, still hovering in the shadows like Steph’s socially awkward sidekick. ‘Twenty. Depending on how used you are to walking.’

‘Oh, we’re very used to it. Ollie here walks all the time, don’t you, Ollie?’

He quirked one eyebrow up, still smiling as he waited for me to confirm this untruth.

‘Well. Um. Yes. But I mean, that’s more like walking in the city. On the pavement. I don’t really… I haven’t much… anyway, thanks for your help!’

Then I turned and started hurrying down the path he’d pointed at without even checking if Steph was coming with me.

‘Oh my,’ she gloated, once she’d caught up with my frantic strides and managed to stop giggling. ‘You totally love the hot man of the woods.’

‘Excuse me?’ I huffed with the tiny amount of breath I had left. ‘I wasn’t the one shamelessly flirting.’

‘Well, perhaps you should have been!’ she crowed back. ‘I deliberately left flirting out of the No-Man Mandate because you need the practice. And you never blushed like this over Mark.’

‘I’m not blushing, I’m warm from the exertion of trying to get away from a totally embarrassing situation!’

‘Oh, chill out. I was only asking him for directions.’

I didn’t bother replying to that, instead tramping along in silence until we saw the cottages up ahead.

‘He was pretty damn gorgeous, though, you have to admit,’ Steph said eventually. ‘For a second there I thought we’d stumbled across the May photo shoot for a Mr Forest Ranger charity calendar.’

I tried my best to give a reproachful glare as I stopped to yank open the gate, instead bursting into laughter. ‘Okay, I do admit to finding the random man we happened to walk past in the woods quite pleasing. Happy?’

Steph linked her arm through mine once we started crossing the garden. ‘As happy as I can be until I know you’ve not bottled it at this dinner tonight. Hopefully Mr May will be something of an incentive to get moved in and that list complete. Maybe the countryside is full of charming, rugged men wielding power tools.’

‘Well, I’m going to be far too busy to notice, even if it is.’

She bumped her elbow against my side. ‘There was nothing in the mandate about noticing, either.’

As I rummaged through my bag for the back-door key, I took another glance around my new garden, hoping it would help me to keep a grasp on the tendril of peace I’d found in the woods. I’d missed her before, but over in the farthest plot was the girl I’d seen last time I was here. She lay on her back on a pale blue blanket, angling a book above her to block out the glare of the sun. It was too far away to see clearly, but I’d recognise The Hobbit’s cover anywhere. A smart girl. Smiling, I unlocked the door, collected our things and set off to face down my own dragon.





It might seem downright deceitful that I’d already asked Karina to move in with my mother, but when over a coffee and a custard doughnut I’d first opened up about my Dream List dilemma, back in the beginning of March, she’d come right out and offered.

‘Karina,’ I’d replied with as much authority as I could muster, while at the same time wanting to fling my arms around her and shout YES PLEASE!, ‘I’ve just told you that Mum is a controlling, manipulating hypochondriac with massive abandonment issues. Did you understand what I told you about my Valentine’s Day date?’

‘Yes, I heard you.’ She beamed back at me. ‘But I’m not her daughter; she won’t have those issues with me. And have you understood what I told you about Mr Rivers? I can handle those kind of emotional fun and games, easy-peasy. She’s mostly a pleasant person, yes?’

I nodded. ‘Well, yes, but I don’t know how she’d react to me moving out. She might end up having a breakdown.’

‘Well, then we’ll have to prepare her for it, won’t we? Show her that she can have a life of her own, without you, and lead her up to it gently.’ She looked at me steadily. ‘Ollie, you saved my life. You gave me the key that opened the door to my own Dream List. To be able to use a cashpoint, or write a birthday card. I used to avoid cafés like this one because reading the menu filled me with dread. This is the least I can do to repay you.’

‘Helping you learn to read is my job, Karina. I’ve already been paid for that.’

She shook her head vigorously. ‘No. Any reading coach would have done that. But you did so much more. You gave me the confidence to believe I was worth it. In choosing me, stupid, lost little me, as your friend, you helped give me the power to change my life. I won’t sit back when I can help you do the same.’

I opened my mouth and closed it again a few times, unsure how to reply. ‘I can’t even think about letting you do this unless you know first-hand what she’s like. I’m going to tell you the good, the bad and the horrendously ugly, and then you have to meet her and get to know her for yourself, and maybe then we can think about having this conversation again. You’ve just escaped decades of a horrible relationship. I’m not going to let you walk into another one.’