Just Like the Other Girls(30)

Something is clearly bothering Elspeth after we leave the gallery. As we walk through the arcade in silence I notice how her eyes dart about and I know she’s looking out for Kathryn. She only saw her yesterday morning. I’ve known them just a week but I can’t get to grips with their relationship. When Elspeth is with Kathryn she acts as though she finds her presence an annoyance, but now it’s clear she’s disappointed to have missed her.

‘I know!’ Elspeth exclaims, when we’ve exited the arcade. The rain has stopped, the pavements are all shiny, and there’s that fresh-washed smell in the air. The sun is struggling to come out from behind a cloud. ‘Let’s go for a cup of tea. There’s a quaint tea room around the corner that does the most delicious cakes. Would you like that?’

I’m surprised by her sudden change in mood. Elspeth’s dark expression has cleared and she’s beaming again.

‘That sounds lovely,’ I say. Anything to fill the hours. The day stretches ahead of me, long and dull.

‘Here we are, then,’ says Elspeth, as we head into a little tea room with rose-printed bone-china cups and rustic furniture. I order a carrot cake and Elspeth has some banana bread. I shove the bag of wool under my chair.

‘Have you ever thought about using your walking stick more?’ I suggest, when the waitress has brought our drinks and cakes. We have a table by the window and sit opposite each other. The place is surprisingly full. ‘One of the residents of the care home had one and it gave her that little bit of confidence on her feet …’

Elspeth’s scowl stops me in my tracks. I’ve said the wrong thing again.

‘I don’t need that stick. I’m not an invalid.’

‘Well, no …’ I’m flustered. ‘But I’ve seen yours at home and … it’s just … you know, after your fall …’

‘Why would I need a stick when I have you?’ she says, cutting her banana bread into squares. ‘And it’s only pavements I have a particular concern for. And stairs.’

I want to say that she’s wasting her money having me live in. That I could just as easily come over for a few hours a day to sit with her or help her dress, not that she really needs that. She’s perfectly capable of dressing herself and is steadier on her feet than she gives herself credit for. I wonder if she’ll ever go into a home. With her money she could afford a really plush one, not like the one I was working in. But it’s clear it’s companionship she’s after, and not just the type you get from a few hours’ meeting up with friends. She wants a constant companion. I wonder why she never married again.

I smile in response and scrape the cream off the top of my carrot cake with my spoon and eat it, enjoying the sugar rush. ‘I haven’t seen Lewis around much,’ I say, in an attempt to change the subject.

‘You want to stay away from that young man,’ says Elspeth, harshly, glaring at me over the rim of her bone-china cup. ‘He’s no good.’

I blush. ‘Oh, I’m not interested in him like that,’ I lie. I can’t deny that I find Lewis attractive, and he seemed like a nice guy.

‘Yes, well, he’s left now anyway. It didn’t work out.’

‘Oh.’ I feel a thud of disappointment, even though I suspected as much after overhearing them arguing the other night. I’d looked forward to spotting Lewis’s handsome face every day.

‘I’m fed up with having men about the house. Next time I’m going to ask for a woman gardener,’ says Elspeth, taking a cube of her banana bread and popping it into her mouth. I wonder what happened in her life to make her dislike men so much. Did her late husband abuse her? Belittle her? Aggie told me he sounded like a kind, self-effacing person.

‘He seemed nice,’ I say meekly, not wanting to disagree with my boss but at the same time feeling she’s judged Lewis unfairly. ‘What did he do?’

She shakes her head, the lines around her mouth puckering. The frosted lipstick she applied this morning has almost vanished, leaving behind a rim on her top lip. ‘Nothing that concerns you. He’s lazy and didn’t do as I asked of him.’ I find that hard to believe. Lewis seemed very hardworking. But what do I know? I’ve probably been blinded by his good looks, like I was with Vince.

I take a sip of my cappuccino. It’s too milky and it sloshes uncomfortably in my stomach. We sit in silence for a few more moments. I don’t know what to say. Perhaps it’s best for her to lead the conversation. Every time I try, I seem to put my foot in my mouth.

‘So,’ she says, taking an elegant sip of her tea, little finger crooked, like a comma, ‘what did you think of the shops?’

‘They’re great,’ I say. A slice of sunlight falls onto the table and onto Elspeth’s hand, causing her wedding ring to glint. ‘Do you miss running them?’

‘Of course,’ she says, putting her cup down and playing with a chunk of her banana bread. I’ve noticed she’s eaten hardly anything. ‘But I still like to keep an eye on everything. It keeps me young.’ She grins, showing off a set of unnaturally white and even teeth for her age.

‘I like the way you’ve named them after your daughters,’ I say. When I notice her expression change I realize what I’ve said. I inwardly groan. Nice one, Una.

‘I haven’t named them after my daughters.’